this post was submitted on 12 Jun 2024
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Dad Jokes

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This is a community for sharing those cheesy “dad” jokes that invoke an eye roll or chuckle.

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[–] [email protected] 57 points 2 weeks ago

...I didn't notice which community it was... Forehead fully on desk. Well done.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Dammit. Got too hung up on scoffing at the 'more churches than casinos' line to even expect the pun setup.

[–] vala 8 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Ehh, that's probably true. I think there are about 500 churches and around 150 casinos. Lots of people live there.

[–] dingdongmetacarples 17 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

It depends what you count as a casino. I grew up in Las Vegas and there's slot machines in most grocery stores and gas stations. Also the airport has slot machines. If that counts as a casino then there's hundreds if not thousands.

[–] force 9 points 2 weeks ago

We don't call that gambling, no, no, we call that LOTTERY! In Georgia at least.

[–] wolfpack86 4 points 2 weeks ago

But there aren't 150 catholic churches in Las vegas

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I've never been to Vegas, but I've heard more than one person express surprise at how much more city there is besides the casino strip? No idea if that'd make up for the casino density on the strip

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

There are the BIG casinos, which only take up a finite space, but there are also little casinos pretty much everywhere you look. Even gas stations will have slot machines. That's true of most of nevada, tbh.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

If people pray while at the slot machines, does that make them churches?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

Maybe, hah, probably not to the god of catholics, though.

[–] Aceticon 2 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Church Of Mammon?!

[–] JJROKCZ 3 points 2 weeks ago

Not just Nevada, any state that legalizes VLTs soon becomes plagued by VLTs (slots by any other name are still slots) put into every existing building. Gas stations, bars, strip clubs, convenience stores, etc, everyone gets slots/VLTs. Bonus is that any empty building gets purchased and filled with them since nothing but gambling survives despite the surroundings. Illinois is my main example here as my home state, I can’t spit without hitting a slot machine it’s ridiculous

[–] jordanlund 34 points 2 weeks ago

You gotta watch that Brother Alvin though...

[–] iAvicenna 20 points 2 weeks ago

This is the longest, most elaborate dad joke I have ever seen. It has the strength of a thousand dads.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Someone backed into this punchline, lol...

"Yooo, 'chip monks' is hilarious... How can I make this into a joke?"

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Isn't it the case for all dad's joke ?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Sure, but that one took a lot of work to get there lol

[–] psycho_driver 16 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

If you ever get a chance to drop by their monastery be sure to say hello to their Abbot, brother Alvin.

[–] teejay 12 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

This sounds like the setting for a Guy Ritchie film.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago

Honestly, I would watch it lol.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

Fascinating! Do you have any kind of source for these claims?

[–] Fetus 19 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] norimee 36 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

While gaming tokens do turn up in the collection plates of Las Vegas churches, those churches (Catholic or Protestant) don't all send them out to a "nearby Franciscan monastery" for sorting and redemption by designated "chip monks." Churches generally accumulate gaming tokens until they each individually tab one or more of their workers to take the chips around to casinos and redeem them for cash.

It is true that one church in Las Vegas, the Shrine of the Most Holy Redeemer, once had a Franciscan friar on staff who made the rounds of casino cages and thus, in the fashion of the joke, he was dubbed "the chip monk." Church Employees tasked with handling chip redemptions at various Las Vegas-area churches are sometimes also referred to as "chip monks" in furtherance of the joke, but they are neither real monks nor are they employed by monasteries that sort and redeem the tokens.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago

Sounds like the verdict should at least be “partially true”

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 weeks ago

Lol it’s a joke.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago

Chachachacha cip in dale rescue rangers

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Next thing you know, those monks will start working in ships

[–] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot 5 points 2 weeks ago

But how many ships would a ship monk monk if a ship monk could monk ships?

[–] hakunawazo 4 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

And if they could collect such an impressive amount of chips that they would be able to form hills of them and then work between them in the valley...
...they could be called The Chippendales.
So what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. I'm out.

[–] Crashumbc 3 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

God always gets his money!

[–] LemmyKnowsBest 2 points 2 weeks ago
[–] ArdMacha 2 points 2 weeks ago

Just like Jesus would have wanted. Christians really ignore gambling don't they.