this post was submitted on 10 Jun 2024
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Microblog Memes

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[–] [email protected] 61 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (5 children)

What the hell is the house of yes? And why would you have your funeral there?

[–] [email protected] 29 points 3 months ago
[–] NOT_RICK 15 points 3 months ago

There’s a club in Brooklyn with that name, not sure if that’s what they’re referring to

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 months ago (2 children)

It's not a weird movie starring Parker Posey, Josh Hamilton, Tori Spelling, and Freddie Prinze Jr. involving themes of incest and reenacting the assassination of JFK as foreplay, but it has the same name, so maybe don't take your sister there especially if she's into pillbox hats or convertibles.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil 6 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

My girlfriend giving me the most amazing road head of my life as I take a lazy left on Elm Street, only to catch her ex lining up a Carcano M91/38 from the Grassy Knoll and realize I should have taken my mom's advice about online dating.

[–] Viking_Hippie 3 points 3 months ago

A horrified Lesly [girlfriend of Marty] witnesses the encounter and speaks to Anthony [younger brother of Marty], who had already told her of Marty and Jackie's incestuous relationship. He convinces Lesly that he is a virgin, leading to a brief and awkward sexual encounter.

Not weird at all, no sirree! 😂

[–] rtxn 5 points 3 months ago

Sounds like that thing from Far Cry 5. They're not known for taking "no" for an answer.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

It's next to the House of Finally.

Probably...

[–] [email protected] 55 points 3 months ago (2 children)

The lack of punctuation killed my brain.

[–] TrickDacy 38 points 3 months ago (1 children)

It was "sunglassesing away" that broke me. Like was the intent of this post to give future anthropologists a job trying to decode it? I understood almost none of this post.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Dude died, delightful dick departed.

[–] TrickDacy 6 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Yes I understand from the word funeral that someone died. I still don't understand how sunglasses can be a verb.

[–] TexasDrunk 22 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Putting on sunglasses and walking away, never to be seen again.

[–] HonoraryMancunian 7 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I sunglasses You sunglasses He/she/one sunglasses

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

sunglasses sunglassesed sunglassesing

[–] ThatWeirdGuy1001 -5 points 3 months ago (4 children)

I'm convinced people who can't read without commas or periods have a reading comprehension deficit.

It's really not that hard to figure out

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 months ago

Communication is a 2-way street.

Writing out an incoherent, unpunctuated paragraph is not only lazy on the writer's part, it's disrespectful in asking the reader to put in extra work to decipher what the actual hell they are talking about. Fortunately, it's also a pretty good sign that there's not a ton of value in whatever they wrote.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 months ago

It's not that hard to figure out, you're right, but it's like the difference between a McDonald's burger and a t-bone steak cooked just right, with fries and a glass of wine. You might not want either, but if you do, most people would prefer the steak.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Yeah whats so hard reading a long sentence that doesnt use proper punctuation I mean cant you just look at it and understand exactly where theres a natural pause or break in what the person is trying to communicate I mean whats so hard about that seriously your brain must be broken if you find that annoying or hard to read what is wrong with you

[–] ThatWeirdGuy1001 4 points 3 months ago

I unironically read this whole thing while putting the pauses in naturally.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

Let's eat, grandma.

Let's eat grandma.

[–] deltapi 33 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I was at a funeral for a guy who had dated my best friend. I was there to support my friend, let her get some closure. There were easily a thousand people there - they set up speakers in the parking lot for mourners to listen to the ceremony. This guy had been incredibly good at getting people to like him. He easily could have been a cult leader, the number of people who loved his persona and either didn't know of or ignored his manipulative behavior.

Anyway, eulogies are delivered. A close friend, then a family member, then his girlfriend...then his other girlfriend. The two girlfriends learned of each other's existence and met for the first time at the funeral.

The second girl said something like "I loved him so much, as I'm sure you all did too. I was convinced that I could make a difference in his life and make things better for everyone, but maybe it was just about the sex after all." She then left. Fully left the building.

Nobody I knew there at the funeral had any idea who she was, except the parents who later confirmed to my friend that she was indeed his other girlfriend.

[–] BonesOfTheMoon 11 points 3 months ago

That is absolutely hilarious.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 3 months ago

Getting a girl to say at your funeral that you fucked her really good is a pure posthumous power move

[–] dohpaz42 11 points 3 months ago

This would make a great business model. I would sign up.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil 8 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

RIP to that legendary hog and the sweet innocent boy to which it was attached.