this post was submitted on 16 Jul 2023
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[–] PlaidBaron 65 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (5 children)

4094 divided by 2 is 2047 male anscestors. The average volume of semen per ejaculation is roughly 3 mL on average.

2047 x 3 is 6141 mL of cum or 6.14 L of cum or about a gallon and a half.

The average fuel efficiency for cars in the US (sorry Europeans) is 25 mpg. This means if cum had the same energy density as gasoline you could travel roughly 37.5 miles on all the cum your male anscestors produced in the last 400 years.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

That's only one ejaculation per male ancestor. You can safely assume that the average male ancestor ejaculated more than once. This would increase the distance traveled using the cum energy.

[–] PlaidBaron 24 points 1 year ago (1 children)

True. But Im only factoring loads splurted resulting in reproductive success leading to you.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I think it's fair to include jizz blown into your 12 generations of grandmas prior to your conception, though, because that cum was necessary to eventually lead to you being born. Scientifically speaking I think we're talking about all the man mayo that went into your grandma's hoochie coochie prior to your conception, but excluding any baby batter that went into the making of your previous older sibling. So we're only counting the clam sauce that led directly to you, not any of your siblings or any other combination of parents.

[–] PlaidBaron 19 points 1 year ago

Cum mathematics is still a developing field.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

According to Leitzmann et al 2004 the average number of male ejaculations in lifetime is approximately 8700 times. That would be 26,1 litres of cum per male.

Edit: 2047 male ancestors would have produced roughly 53 427 litres of cum. Do we have data on energy density of cum?

[–] Shardikprime 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] FattestMattest 1 points 1 year ago

He's right, that would change everything

[–] MereTit 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

l/foundthemobileuser teehee

[–] ickplant 6 points 1 year ago

I just KNEW someone would do the math. Thank you for your contribution to humanity.

[–] Burninator05 4 points 1 year ago

This kind of insight is why I'm here. The next question is, "What is the energy density of jizz?"

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You think that's all they produced?

[–] PlaidBaron 8 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I dont have a degree in advanced theoretical cumonomics so I have to make some base assumptions.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Yeah but the base assumption is that all those ancestors only ever came once.

[–] xsh 44 points 1 year ago (1 children)

In Alabama you would need less than that though.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 year ago

With 12 generations, that would apply to pretty much everyone. It would be a statistical anomaly for anyone living today to have the full set of 4094 individual ancestors.

[–] gedaliyah 42 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I hate to break it to you but a lot of those are the same people.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

I was gonna say "I went to high school in Alabama and the math just doesn't work out that way"

[–] corvett 22 points 1 year ago (2 children)

There's gonna start being some overlap somewhere down the line

[–] ickplant 7 points 1 year ago
[–] PlaidBaron 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] simplecyphers 8 points 1 year ago

They just overlap much more recently

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

Good to know there's a long line of people already disappointed in me

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

this is fucked up calculations, for 100th generation we would need more humans than have ever lived

[–] TempleSquare 22 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Your flaw is assuming that a couple only produces one child. Many humans can share the same ancestor.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Don’t forget the recurrent loops of inbreeding. Reality is definitely less than 2^generation

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Not even inbreeding, strictly speaking, when you go back that far. At 12 generations back you've got lots of ancestors with common ancestors, but they aren't so closely related that conceiving a child between them would be incest. Doesn't have to be siblings; very distant cousins would also reduce the number of total ancestors. They need not even have known their relation to one another.

[–] Tavarin 4 points 1 year ago

By second cousins the rate of genetic abnormalities is the same as for distant strangers. You really don't have to go very far back for it to not cause issues.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

That’s not his flaw, but OP’s.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm having trouble understanding this. Why would I need 4 grandparents?... oh... because 2 had a kid and 2 had a kid... then the 2 kids were my parents... so double that for great grandparents....

Damn I just answered it to myself. Guess I shouldn't ask questions while half awake

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

You do highlight that this ignores incest

[–] joneskind 2 points 1 year ago

I don't get how the 400 years have been calculated here. 12 generations should be about 250-300 years maybe?

Anyway, that's of lot of cum indeed.

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