this post was submitted on 24 May 2024
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submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/memes
 
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[–] Omgarm 46 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Haha I get so quirky when I'm drunk. The other night I broke into a small store and set it on fire. Tequila am I right?

[–] jordanlund 8 points 1 month ago

All the best drinking stories contain the phrase "and then we started drinking tequilla..."

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Shoutout to the people who get blackout drunk all the time and have never been arrested!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

That used to be me a long time ago. I’d just end up tanking World of Warcraft raids while blackout drunk though

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

I become a pro athlete when I'm blackout drunk apparently, run like lightning as long as nothing is in the way like a small fence or rather large glowing sign.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Lol I once beelined home from the bar, about 2 miles, through backyards, over fences, up a large hill, my more sane friends took a taxi home, were drinking in the kitchen, and I came in the back door covered in leaves and dirt and torn clothes. They were pretty surprised with my off-road route

Blackout skills are just... Something else

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

If you dont wakeup with a bunch of random unexplained injuries, did you even get blackout drunk?

I once woke up with a giant blister over the top of ny entire foot, turns out after finishing off a bottle of tequila and eating both worms by myself, because "everyone was fucking bitches" direct quote, I apparently got cold and tho7gh the middle of the fire is hot, I'll stand there, 5 times I attempted it, out smarting a bunch of peole way less drunk than I was, until they could get my missus at the time to come get me and take me home.

[–] Downcount 21 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Hmmm...

Whenever we were partying and had noone to drive us home we just did, what we've called "teleport drinking" aka drinking so much you wake up in your bed. It miraculous worked every time (if you just forget the one time i woke up on my stairs).

[–] jordanlund 6 points 1 month ago

An old friend of mine described NyQuill that way... "The sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, OMG I woke up on the bathroom floor again medicine."

[–] KISSmyOSFeddit 0 points 1 month ago (1 children)

And the one time there was a mysterious blood splatter on your car's front bumper in the morning.

[–] Downcount 2 points 1 month ago

Nope, nobody of our relative big group ever were driving intoxicated. We had changing designated drivers. Some of them just drove home earlier, so coming home was sometimes difficult.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Free taxi + free hotel I'll take it

[–] errer 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

And free sex, don’t even have to ask for it!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

That's just a US thing. And the bill you get after that.

Cops drive drunk teenagers home all the time. I've packed lightweight mates into a cop car just for shit & giggles. Im still proud of that one.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (3 children)

Being drunk isn't an excuse to be a shitty person.

[–] Thcdenton 7 points 1 month ago

It's the cause :D

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 month ago

Yeah, I never understood that, why tf would your personality change with alcohol specifically. I've def seen it happen with friends/acquaintances, but do not get the mechanics (unless it's just as simple as removing inhibitions, in vino veritas true personality shit).

[–] cinabongo 9 points 1 month ago

it's happened to me, except i ended up in an ambulance or hospital on multiple occasions decided to stick to soft stuff haha

[–] Katana314 9 points 1 month ago

Fun fact! This exact joke is how fast travel works in the bonkers game Sunset Overdrive!

https://youtu.be/u-A8Pqzezpk?si=80IDYDZJUxl2MkJT

[–] IsThisAnAI 7 points 1 month ago

Not teleportation. Time travel.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

For me it's more time travel than teleportation. Whiskey + record collection = good times

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Jägerbombs do that. I have a vague memory of having those for the first time with some friends and because they are quite tasty and the energy drink keeps you going you don't really notice when you had too much. So my memories of it are basically drinking the 7th one, then (probably hours later) stumbling from tree to tree to keep me steady and then waking up in my bathtub.

[–] randon31415 5 points 1 month ago
[–] FinishingDutch 4 points 1 month ago

God I’m so glad drinking isn’t my thing. I absolutely hate being around intoxicated people, much less the ‘get blackout drunk and don’t remember half the shit I did’ types. It’s so cringe people do that for fun.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

There's a 25% chance you won't reach your destination tho

[–] bruhduh 1 points 1 month ago

From my experience when i was teenager, alcohol just frees and amplifies who you are as a person, i mean most of my peers became aggressive and unhinged as fuck but i became a wholesome marshmallow like dude, i mean alcohol made same effect on me as weed do on most people, relax and chill