this post was submitted on 20 May 2024
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Food Crimes - Offenses against nutrition

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Welcome to Food Crimes! This community is here to collect all and any post about cursed food and generally unusual consumables.

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  1. Posts must include an image or video containing food or drink.
  2. It must be unusual or cursed in some way. a. For example, something like Doritos Milk would be unusual, but normal milk would not.
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[–] MrJameGumb 30 points 2 months ago (5 children)

Whole olives seems a bit much especially with that cheese dip, but a nice tapenade might be good on a hot dog if you used it like relish, maybe with some spicy English mustard...

[–] Crackhappy 5 points 2 months ago

Damn, dog. That sounds delicious. adds Tapenade to grocery list

[–] jqubed 3 points 2 months ago

That’s a good idea. A salsa con queso dip can actually be good on a hot dog, but I don’t think olives would go with it. Maybe a one-or-the-other situation.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

Hot dogs with green olives is just deconstructed pimento loaf. I'm not sure if that needs queso, tho.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

This doesn't seem that bad. At least they didn't use the abominations that are black "olives". Greek/kalamata has a better flavor but green aren't bad.

[–] glimse 5 points 2 months ago

Black olives are delicious. I'm sorry your taste buds hate you.

[–] [email protected] -2 points 2 months ago (5 children)

I’m not sure olives should ever be paired with any cheese except feta (or its derivatives). I’m also not sure they should be near any sausages that aren’t of Italian or other Mediterranean provenance either.

Mustard also seems risky but might work with the right one.

If you absolutely must try it, perhaps an Italian sausage, olive tapenade, and some bell peppers and onions could possibly work.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Cheese and olives is a pretty classic combo? The acidity and brine helps cut through the fattyness of the cheese. You see it in all sorts of antipasto platters. Not sure about the hotdog though.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

Sure, but like I said, it’s usually some sort of Mediterranean fresh milk cheese like feta, not processed slop like this stuff.

In fact, I think fresh Mexican queso would probably work just fine. Still not sure about that hot dog however.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Macncheezus accusing the rest of us of white collar food crimes

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

I mean, pretty much everyone is guilty of those at one point or another, myself included.

The way I see it, the whole point of this group is to joke about the silly mistakes of others in order to make ourselves feel better about our own.

[–] grue 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Sliced black olives on nachos are good.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

I don't eat nachos all that often so it's been a long time but I got a feeling you might be right.

Green ones, though? Whole? IDK

[–] MrJameGumb 1 points 2 months ago

Yeah, I would never use that queso dip with anything with olives lol feta does sound good through! I was thinking English mustard because you don't really need to use a lot of it and it's more of a good spicy flavor without the strong vinegar taste most mustard has

[–] Postmortal_Pop 1 points 2 months ago

I have a pretty well curated list of things that I put out for wine and cheese night as a sort of madcap charcuterie board. I've actually found that a popular combination is andouille sausage, green olive, and any sweet flavor. I'd even gamble that any savory meat might work so long as the portions are correct.

[–] Tronn4 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

This doesn't look bad at all

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

I don’t understand. Looks tasty.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I applaud the willingness to experiment at the same time I laugh at what that did to their guts.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

I mean, that’s the best part about food crimes, that the ones who commit them are generally also the first to pay the price for them.

Unless there’s unwilling participants involved in the experiment of course, but I’m guessing those don’t end up having photographic evidence posted on the Internet.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Jalapeños instead of olives and this would be pretty good.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

No doubt about that.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

Honestly, if you replaced those olives with pepper slices, and that "Queso" with something that looked slightly less artificial than the hotdog its covering, that might not be so bad.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

I agree that the main issue here is the olives. The rest can certainly be made work with the right ingredients.

Just substitute jalapeños instead and we can still be friends.

[–] Postmortal_Pop 1 points 2 months ago

If I'm being honest, that Aldi cheese dip is unreasonably good for what it is. I remember trying the Pace one when I was a teen and still feeling like my pallet was too refined for that crap, but the Aldi one tastes better than some recipes I've tried.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Pretty sure that “con queso” is a kind of lube.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Anything is a kind of lube if you're brave enough

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

Tell you what, your avatar pic is awfully appropriate right now

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

(Eyeroll) That’s so cheesy.

[–] Spiralvortexisalie 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Bro I hate this 100% but i know damn well a pretty girl thats tells me to take a bite to talk to her. I am taking a fucking bite.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

If I had a nickel.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

My eyeballs should sue

[–] iAvicenna 2 points 2 months ago

honey fetch my flame thrower will ya

[–] Godthrilla 1 points 2 months ago

Jesus. My entire body reacted to this. No.