boardgames

Just slap your knee and say,” welp, it’s getting late”

So the people teaching the game with you should make sure everyone is aware of the game time and expectations, first of all. I love board games, but would be a bit irritated if someone expected me to play Terra Mystica at a moments notice. The only exception that comes to mind is if they're cool with ending it early because I wouldn't be able to play the whole time.

Since your friends don't seem very responsible, you have to do more legwork. I would ask which game is being played, and what the expected game time is. In addition, let them know your time limitations and that you'll have to leave by a specific time whether your finished or not. This may lead to less invitations ("lets start a game of Twilight Imperium 3 at 830 Pm on a Tuesday night! but lets not invite Meep_Launcher because he'll leave the game early") but at least everyone will be aware of the situation before hand.

Ideally, your friends will work around the person with the most restrictive schedule, "only 2 hours? lets play some love letter, DND Inn fighting game, and Port Royale". If they really want to play Monopoly, you can suggest a better time when you would be interested in playing where you'd have sufficient time to finish the game.

Open and honest communication. Just say that you're not interested in the game.

If the host gets passive-aggressive you could try to talk civilised about that. In case they don't show the necessary understanding or are difficult to talk to, they might not be the kind of acquaintance you would like to keep.

I'm regularly your friend that plays long as fuck games, but I always make sure that anyone I invite for these long games is acutely aware that they're in this for 4 hours and if that's not ok with them to tell me and we'll play something else. I kind of get the annoyance you host had when you abandoned the game midway, but it's really on them to manage expectations, especially when playing with adults with obligations. It is also up to them to figure out that when you explain a new game, it's going to take longer to play.

So really no fault of your own, and definitely don't apologize for having work in the morning, but it seems your friend is not that good at managing expectations and that means you'll have to do it yourself. Ask ik advance what game you'll be playing and watch a review or video of it (you can also watch a live game on Board Game Arena), and yeah you'll probably miss out on some great games that look bad from the outside but if not spending 4 hours playing a game you don't enjoy is more desirable to you then that's it.

You could also, of course, try communicating with your friend about your grievances. I don't know what good will come out of that discussion but I don't think it can be that bad.

Take your phone out, look at it, get a slightly concerned look on your face that quickly turns to fear, run out the room yelling "No No No NO No No No No No they're not meant to be here this soon", destroy your phone and start a fresh new life.

I am the person that loves long and complex games. If I have an upper limit for those qualities I have not found it yet, because it must be higher than those of all the players I've met.

So, I can't really answer your question, but I think I can tell you why the rest of the table was pissed off, and maybe that will help you in some way.

You like a certain type of game, but it's somewhat outside the mainstream, so it's difficult to find a full group for it and gather them all at the table at the same time. You get excited, you finally get to play the game you have been itching for. You're really having fun. Your strategy starts paying off. And then you don't get to see it to completion because one person gets up and leaves. It might be weeks or months before you get another chance. You got your hopes up and then got left hanging. That sucks.

A similar situation is if you talked somebody into a game who didn't want to play at first and just end up doing you a favor. In my experience, 9 times out of 10 they're not going to have a good time, and they'll drag the rest of the table down with them.

But here's the kicker: After some painful lessons I know those things now. So I don't nag people about playing with me anymore. I ask once, and then a no is a no. And I don't invite people who I know have a short attention span to play long games with me. And I sure as hell don't schedule a game night on a weekday where everybody needs to work tomorrow.

The person putting together the table has a responsibility to curate games that fit the audience or vice versa. Everybody else attending has a responsibility to be transparent about their availability and preferences.

Terraforming Mars is such a slog even when you know what you're doing.

Honestly it sounds like you need to communicate expectations ahead of time, and just make it clear you'll leave after X time regardless, that's not an unreasonable request. I don't think you did anything wrong in your example.

Any rational adult would not expect to effectively hold people hostage to finish a FUCKING BOARDGAME.

I would say ignore that shitcunt and say goodbye and leave.

Not sure I have an answer, but my group has an understanding that we're all adults, and if someone needs to leave early or whatever, that's totally cool. I have one friend that I don't think has ever actually finished a game of MtG Commander lol.

It doesn't matter what game you're playing. You communicated your availability and it ran out. "Hey gotta go, GG"

Then tell them your not interested in finishing the game later

I'm thinking it would be helpful to explicitly state your boundaries before even agreeing to play the game. Something like this:

"There are some board games i like and some i don't. I'd be glad to give it a try if you're ok with me deciding I don't like it after 10 minutes and dropping out. Also i don't enjoy playing board games that take longer than an hour to finish, so I'd be happy to play as long as you're cool with me dropping out of the game if it goes on longer than an hour."

If you explain clear boundaries to them before starting play then they know what to expect when those boundaries are reached

Games usually say how long they take on the box. If it's too long just decline. If it goes over that usually in my experience it's because people are fucking around and making it take longer than it should instead of focusing on the game. Which is even more rude than leaving if it gets too late.

I would suggest grabbing your phone and quickly looking up the game on BGG before you start to see its length and complexity rating. Would take less than a minute and would give you a broad idea of what you're in for.

I played TF Mars many times and never took that long. Actually I found it to be in my sweet spot of complexity and time. But max 4 people.

But I totally get you. I have this friend who has a very peculiar way of explaining games. He explains the strategy instead of the lore and mechanics. I need to understand the mechanics first not the strategy. And he easily takes 1 hour to explain a game like Mars....

If you communicate a hard stop time and this happens when you say you have to leave it might be time to start declining invitations. If you didn't communicate a hard stop time and they communicated a much short play time than reality it sounds like you're both a bit at fault and you two should talk about it.

I would have needed the answer to this question back when my friends invited me to play twilight empire.

We started at 10 am and finished at 11 pm ffs.

I'd start asking questions about what kind of games I'm invited to. Ask more questions about what you are getting yourself into, before committing.

This is why I always do research on the game before playing it. Optimally, I'll download and read the rulebook, but "let's play" videos work in a pinch. (Or if the rulebook is a bit obtuse.)

Of course, if you don't know what you're playing beforehand, then it's up to the host(s) to teach you, and it all depends upon how good they are at teaching (and how good you are at paying attention). These situations are obviously much more dodgy, so I try to at least peruse the rulebook a bit and keep it nearby during the game so that I can look up rules during other players' turns.

Finally, it does get easier. It does take time and energy to learn these more complex games, but the payoff is more interesting and satisfying game experiences. Every time you play, you learn a little more. Of course, if you aren't getting any enjoyment out of it at all, you might want to stick with lighter games.

Learning a board game if no one's played it before can easily takes an hour and sometimes more in addition to the suggested play time, to figure out the set up and fully read and understand the rules.

I don't know what kind of friends would be upset at you being tired. The only time I might be annoyed is if you continually overcommit (ask to play a game you know takes all night then leave early).

I suggest you tell your friends whenabouts you need to leave, at the start and/or the middle of your hangout so they can set their expectations accordingly.

If the Alchemist game you think you would enjoy if you just weren't confused by the gameplay, have someone walk you through it, looking at your hand/pieces and tell you what to play and why for a round. I think part of the issue is that you need to communicate early and clearly so that you don't have to suffer in silence. A board game hangout shouldn't be something you dread; if it is then do something else. If it's that the game just isn't sparking your interest, 5-10 minutes into the rules you can stop and tell them that this doesn't feel interesting.

I loathe Terraforming Mars, because you can't ease into it. You start at full speed and if you don't know what you're doing at the start, you're already fucked. The problem is, you don't know that, so it's one of those where you to royally fuck up twice, before you can play a good game.

You can't just go "well, I'm the tree-planting guys, I should probably focus on planting trees", because the game doesn't reward some things at all. There are straight up worse choices.

I spent a weekend learning a boardgame, only to find out it kinda sucks.

Ask what game you're going to play and read about the game? Learn the rules in advance?

I just sat there confused as hell for 4 and a half hours while three guys were all talking about strategies

That's partly on you. If you don't understand the game, you should probably be speaking up and asking for help to understand it. I'm a seasoned player who wins more often than not, and I will still ask other players about why certain mechanics are the way they are, or if something doesn't seem to make sense. If nobody's willing to pause things for 5 minutes to help you understand, they're a shit group and you should stop playing with them. On the other hand, if they're trying their best to make you understand, then either:

• They're all shit teachers (this is entirely possible, btw) and you need to find out what games will be played beforehand and do your homework before game night
• Accept that certain game difficulties are way above your head and stick to easier games. This level might change as you play more and absorb game mechanics and strategies.

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Tonight it was Terraforming Mars, where I was told it would be a 3 hour game, but by hour 4 we were halfway done. This time I said “it’s 11pm, I have work in the morning, this will be my last hand” and the host got very passive aggressive with me.

Nothing wrong with that. Ideally you'd want to say that before the game, but I wouldn't blame anybody for going into a game with 3 hours and thinking that was enough time. On a side note, Terraforming Mars is one of those games where it doesn't really matter if a player leaves halfway through, anyway, so they were just being a jerk.

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you are invited to play a game, only to find it's wildly complex and takes 4 hours to finish, and you find yourself not wanting to play it within minute 5?

As for your original question: Start asking how complex a game is beforehand, and how long it takes. Simple. You may need to adjust the answers you get according to the person replying you, or check out game ratings on BGG.

Oh no, another game of monopoly?!

I started playing D&D because it takes months to finish a campaign so people don't mind pausing the game after a certain time and playing once or twice a week.

Yeah monopoly sucks

Make your time limits know ahead of time. Focus on the socialization with your friends rather then the game itself.

People can get annoyed if you dip early for the same reason you stated. You got quorum, you spent hours learning and playing the game. And you don't even get to finish it.

If your game group suffers from analysis paralysis suggest setting a timer for each turn to keep the game moving.

I don’t have suggestions better than those of others; just know I empathise with you.

Also; I call that state Ludo Limbo. The game hasn’t clicked with you, and you’re not having a good time, but for reasons outside your control you’re fucking stuck there.