this post was submitted on 09 Apr 2024
307 points (90.7% liked)

Funny

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[–] [email protected] 81 points 10 months ago (4 children)

Sacrificing me isn't sleeping though, which is what you said you wanted? I'm sensing some dishonesty, which is a red flag for me.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

You sure? IDK man, you know, you could be sleeping while she slits your throat.

She seems honest IMO.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago

Nah you just picky mate,

[–] idunnololz 3 points 10 months ago

DW all flags will be red after she bathes the world in your blood.

[–] Daft_ish 3 points 10 months ago

Red flag, but not a deal breaker.

[–] [email protected] 69 points 10 months ago
[–] [email protected] 44 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

These "quirky" bios are a dime a dozen on swipe dating platforms.

Don't bother with them, they're not taking things seriously, and aren't actually interested in you, just there to stroke their ego.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

they’re not taking things seriously

No shit?

just there to stroke your ego.

… this is such an odd leap of reasoning that I have a feeling you have personal story somewhere in there

[–] [email protected] 19 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Ahh right that definitely makes more sense, although I'm not sure I agree

[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I learnt this through experience, take my word for it. They're not worth your time.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago

1/10, would not be a human sacrifice again?

[–] [email protected] 0 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Weeelll, you have personal experience from what I'm assuming is at most a couple of different "cases", plus it's not like we know whether your interpretation of what was going on reflects what happened. Not that I'm saying you're lying or necessarily even incorrect, mind you, just that taking random people at their word is often inadvisable.

Not that it makes much of a difference to me personally anyhow, it's not like I have any intention of using Tinder. Never had any good experiences with it when I did try it a few years ago

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago

Yeah, like how is that strokingmy ego 🤔...

[–] [email protected] 14 points 10 months ago (1 children)

My sacrifice to the dark one unfulfilled, 1/10, good sex though.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

The bios says no sex.

[–] Rolando 37 points 10 months ago (1 children)

"...sacrifice your worthless life to the dark overlord"?? If my life is worthless, then it's not really a sacrifice, is it? Please do better, "Danielle, 19".

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Wanna find out? Only 6km away 😊.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 10 months ago

Fix what? There's nothing to fix.

[–] SomeGuy69 16 points 10 months ago

The no sex part is a bit disappointing, I'd expect more for my blood sacrifice.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 10 months ago (4 children)
[–] kautau 26 points 10 months ago

refreshes

5 Kilometers away

[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago

And decreasing…

[–] aeronmelon 2 points 10 months ago

TIME TO SELL THE HOUSE!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago
[–] [email protected] 13 points 10 months ago

Fine… Just make sure it doesn’t hurt too much.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago

Those fake eyebrows, for starters.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago

Sooooooo dArK!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago
[–] slazer2au 8 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

Amd as you take your last bloody breayhs, she pulls out the strapon.

[–] RIP_Cheems 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Had me in the first half, not gonna lie.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

Yeah, I was hoping for stroking maybe...

[–] TrickDacy 4 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Where is there humor here?

[–] SirQuackTheDuck 4 points 10 months ago

The humour is in the sweet releasing embrace of death

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Ooh, she might cut herself with that edge.

[–] Shou 2 points 10 months ago

I thought the point was to cut her date with it.

[–] Daft_ish 2 points 10 months ago

And only 6 kms away!

[–] AgentGrimstone 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

Fairly soon... she's only 6km away.