Music too fast? Straight to jail.
Music too slow? Believe it or not, straight to jail.
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Music too fast? Straight to jail.
Music too slow? Believe it or not, straight to jail.
Just a little bit too perfect? Burned for witchcraft
and after the burning, whatever is left, straight to jail.
Sounds like a healthy form of governance. People can't be trusted to manage tempo on their own. They should do this for heart rates as well.
Checks out. If your heart rate is too slow or too fast you're probably doing a sin.
darude sandstrom ✖️
careless whisper ✖️
never gonna give you up ✔️
YMCA by Village People? We'll give it a pass ✔️
80 to 116 BPM. I actually chuckled audibly that the BPM was specified, I assumed it would be extremely vague.
They couldn’t even make it higher than the DAW defaults at 120bpm. So you have new musicians that have never recorded accidentally producing music at 120 and breaking the law. This is the dumbest shit I’ve seen since last week. I don’t typically put anything together that is below 120. Looks like I’m on my way to being a Chechen fugitive.
Shocking.
No house, no techno?!
Suddenly a larger market for those sped up/slowed down ByteDance remixes, depending.
Phonk producers with normal, slowed and speedy versions of their songs were already prepared for this.
Are they just late for 1st of April?
April 1st was too fast for them so they opted to use April 8th.
April 9th would have meant straight to jail!
So, they just banned the Russian national anthem too, since that sits at 76 bpm?
Not even Nazi Germany or Stalin's Soviet Union had this arbitrary and stupid of a music ban.
Isis and taliban do tho. Chechnya is primarily muslim. But yea, another sign russia has become a dystopian nightmare
I think you seriously over-estimate the level of tolerance of Nazi Germany. The Nazis persecuted Degenerate Music just like they persecuted Degenerate Art.
In Soviet Union, the rock genre was for a very long time existing underground due to the inability of artists to be properly published.
Only starting with the 1980s could the artists finally publish their songs officially. And even then Soviet government put a lot of measures to prohibit rock music in the country.
This resulted in the appearance of many beloved bands and artists, like
The history of Russian rock is actually quite fascinating. It was inspired by bard songs and often touched darker subjects as well as being satirical and judgmental of Soviet government.
Due to that, some artists, like Yegor Letov from Grazhdanskaya Oborona and Yuri Shevchuk from DDT, had troubles with KGB (Soviet FBI).
Nowadays, rock artists are still being persecuted for their views. For example, DDT is de facto prohibited from performing in Russia.
The Russian national anthem is 76 beats per minute lol….
Which is banned
Ok but what about double time? This rule is so ridiculous if it was a joke I would think it's too unrealistic
The Onion is over here crying because it's been having to low-ball reality for a decade.
Read up a bit on the Chechnyans and their relationship with Russia.
Apparently, their leaders were responsible for atrocities on par with typical Russians.
I don't really have sympathy for them. They support people who assassinate journalists as a "birthday gift" to Putin.
Yeah they were rounding up their own citizens for years
Writes a song at 115 BPM. Makes it use double time. Occasionally changes tempo to 161 BPM half-time. Adds three layers of polyrhythms to it. Spices things up with metric modulation between 4/4, 13/8 and 17/7. Hides a sample of the "trolololo song" somewhere in there.
Trollface.jpg
Deleted by Chechnya
This is memeable, yes; but usually when news like this starts coming out a nation shit’s definitely gone sideways for it.
Imma go blow some Chechnyan minds with my happy hardcore outfit that plays songs at 100bpm, but only plays 64th notes.
So, believe or not straight to jail, then?
To fast? Jail. To slow? Believe it or not, jail. Over/ under.
Was trying to figure out why this felt so familiar, then I remembered it's literally a plot point in the game Beholder 3, a game about an excessively oppressive surveillance government. Wild.
BPM between 80 and ~~130~~ 116 are allowed. Their own national anthem is almost criminally low!
So what’s the opposite of eating the onion, and not believing that this is actual news, but it is?
It’s beating the onion. But you can only do it 80 to 115 times a minute.
Fundies gonna fundie.
saving us from the national menace that is cotton eye joe.
RIP nightclubs. RIP Cheeki Breeki.