this post was submitted on 08 Apr 2024
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Authorities in the Russian Republic of Chechnya have announced a ban on music that they consider too fast or slow.

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[–] givesomefucks 382 points 7 months ago (3 children)

Music too fast? Straight to jail.

Music too slow? Believe it or not, straight to jail.

[–] fluxion 107 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Just a little bit too perfect? Burned for witchcraft

[–] [email protected] 44 points 7 months ago

and after the burning, whatever is left, straight to jail.

[–] [email protected] 52 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Sounds like a healthy form of governance. People can't be trusted to manage tempo on their own. They should do this for heart rates as well.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Checks out. If your heart rate is too slow or too fast you're probably doing a sin.

[–] ours 9 points 7 months ago

VladBit health health trackers now mandatory. Better keep yours charged up or gulag for you.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago

We have the technology

[–] [email protected] 15 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Straight to jail! Right away!

[–] [email protected] 16 points 7 months ago

Thanks to jail we have the most moderate musical tempo in the world!