this post was submitted on 03 Apr 2024
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[Outdated, please look at pinned post] Casual Conversation

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Background links:

https://lemmy.world/post/12194311

https://lemmy.world/post/13579250

https://lemmy.world/post/13834878

So, after nothing for a week do to the first doctor's colossal fuckup or whatever it was, I got in to see a GI behavioral therapist today. She hypothesizes that something behaviorally triggered the heaving and the not eating and so on, possibly even the kidney stones I had a month or so before this all started (we'll probably never know), and it just became something that never went away.

Much to my mother's displeasure, since she's decided that in all of her social worker schooling that she had almost 40 years ago I had a phobia, the social worker said it isn't a phobia. It's an aversion, but not a phobia.

So, she has a couple of things she's having me do. First, go see another behavioral therapist in Indiana. She's getting me a list. She says it doesn't have to be one who specializes in GI problems, which is good, because there's only one of those in Indiana and she's not on our insurance.

Secondly, she is having me do deep breathing exercises, especially in the morning before I've done any heaving. She thinks that if I do it properly, the extra oxygen should relax my muscles and stimulate the vagus nerve, which will hopefully stop the heaving.

The only thing I didn't like is that she didn't let my wife sit in via Facetime or speakerphone because that was not allowed, which means I have to rely on my anxiety and stress-ridden brain to remember everything because my mother sure won't. What a mistake to bring her along.

I'm still hoping to see an ENT while I'm here because no ENT has ever evaluated me and it's worth an evaluation, but I'm in triage for that, so if they don't have me go in tomorrow, I'll have to do it in Indiana because we leave on Friday, or at least will be kicked out of this AirBnB, and my mother refuses to stay in a hotel.

Anyway, this is the first day since I got here last Monday that I actually felt like they were helping me and doing something about my problem. It would have been really fucking nice if they had done it without only a 2 day window, but it's better than nothing.

I don't know if they're going to do anything for me because of what the first doctor did, but I feel like they owe me some sort of reimbursement at the very least. Apparently a patient advocate will be reaching out to me in the near future.

And now, more crazy mother stories!

From Monday:

I went to take a shower and when I told my mother, we had this conversation-

“Take your phone with you.”

“Into the shower?”

“Well what happens if they call?”

“You’ll have to answer it.”

Then I give her my phone and she asks what code she’s supposed to enter when they call. She has the same make and model of phone as I do. You don’t need to enter a code.

The best part is we had this exactly same conversation last week.

Later we go shopping and we buy a couple of boxes of Ensure (my main source of nutrition).

“How long will these 32 Ensures last you?”

“At six a day-”

“I thought you took four a day.”

“I did, but the doctor told me I should take 6-8.”

“He did?”

She was in the room at the time. It was also last week.

We are driving back-

“I thought the Mayo Clinic was going to be like the ER, where a whole team of doctors works on you at once.”

“Mom, I’ve been in the ER four times in the last year. They don’t do that there.”

“Yes they do, I’ve seen the shows!”

Then, when we get back-

“Ok, we’re back, I’m going to my room so you can have your chicken.”

“I’m not going to have my chicken yet, I’m going to get my coat off.”

“That’s fine, I’m just going to go now before it starts smelling.”

I go to my room. 2 minutes later- knock knock “I’m going to have my chicken now.”

Yesterday, she kept getting tornado alerts on her watch because it's localized to Indiana and kept saying, "is that in Rochester?!" Yes, it's snowy with a chance of tornadoes. She also this morning said "there's salt on the ground. Is it slippery out?" Not anymore due to the salt.

As for today, the appointment was at 9:45. She insisted we leave at 8 to get a parking space in one of the multiple 10-storey parking garage. I was able to talk her into 8:45. She complained the whole way there that we would be late and started panicking in the car in the parking garage since there was a slow line in front of us. Then we got out and she looked at her watch and it was like 9:03. She said, "wow, we have so much time!"

I celebrated something finally happening by buying a $30 bottle of ruby port, which I am looking forward to having this evening.

We're either leaving tomorrow or Friday and then I don't want to see my mother for a while.

EDIT: Just got denied a Mayo ENT consult and was told to get a local one (which is fine). So I guess we're going home tomorrow. Thank god.

EDIT 2: I just got a call from the Mayo patient advocate. They will not be charging me for the GI visit and they will be reimbursing us for some of the AirBnB cost. I appreciate them making things right.

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[–] [email protected] 28 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Next time you are not allowed to facetime someone in, ask if you are allowed to record audio. That way you can listen to it again and see if you missed anything the first time.

[–] FlyingSquid 13 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Great idea! Thanks so much!

[–] shy_bibliophile 14 points 8 months ago (1 children)

And if recording isn't allowed, bring a notebook and pen. I frequently take notes at the doctor's because I don’t trust myself to remember all the important bits later.

[–] FlyingSquid 7 points 8 months ago (2 children)

That was the idea of bringing my mother along.

You can see how that worked out.

[–] shy_bibliophile 3 points 8 months ago

Yeah I did unfortunately...hence the recommendation for a way to do it all yourself. Though I have no idea what was involved in your various appointments so maybe it's not a feasible option.

[–] wjrii 13 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Yesterday, she kept getting tornado alerts on her watch because it’s localized to Indiana and kept saying, “is that in Rochester?!”

I don't think he knows about thundersnow, Pip.

[–] FlyingSquid 6 points 8 months ago (3 children)

Does thundersnow result in tornadoes? Also, does it happen when it's only flurries?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago

You been.... Thunderfluffed!

[–] peopleproblems 4 points 8 months ago

For the record, you have been in SE Minnesota for a small amount of time and have now experienced pretty much the entire range of weather except for the humid 105F days. Tons of snow. Lots of cold rain. Followed by snow. Then it all melting and horrible wind.

Minnesota had its first December tornadoes a few years ago.

[–] wjrii 3 points 8 months ago

For the former, I dunno if thundersnow does specifically, but clearly tornadoes and snow are not incompatible.

For the latter, eh, probably not, LOL.

[–] Mr_Blott 13 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Absolutely nothing your mother does sounds "crazy" rather than "elderly and concerned"

[–] BonesOfTheMoon 7 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Just a question OP, I know you are not keen on online attempts at diagnosis, but have you ever considered writing to the medical mystery column at the New York Times magazine? https://www.nytimes.com/column/diagnosis

[–] FlyingSquid 3 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I've never heard of it. Interesting. Thanks.

[–] BonesOfTheMoon 3 points 7 months ago (2 children)

It's at least a doctor. Hope it helps. Thinking of you!

[–] FlyingSquid 2 points 7 months ago
[–] FlyingSquid 2 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I can't figure out how to submit my story. Any ideas?

[–] kellyaster 4 points 8 months ago

Hey, I saw the other post you made. Sorry I missed this. I'm stoked you finally have a lead, so congrats and good luck with the referral!! And it sounds like the patient advocate did you a solid, so good on them!

Side note: what's up with the toxicity here? Jeepers, has the Casual Conversation community always been like this?

[–] BonesOfTheMoon 3 points 8 months ago

Never enough. I really care about you and want to hear all the outcomes.

[–] dingus 3 points 8 months ago

Why do you think your mom is unwilling to stay in a hotel over an AirBnB? A lot of times hotels are a better deal nowadays.