So, after nothing for a week do to the first doctor's colossal fuckup or whatever it was, I got in to see a GI behavioral therapist today. She hypothesizes that something behaviorally triggered the heaving and the not eating and so on, possibly even the kidney stones I had a month or so before this all started (we'll probably never know), and it just became something that never went away.

Much to my mother's displeasure, since she's decided that in all of her social worker schooling that she had almost 40 years ago I had a phobia, the social worker said it isn't a phobia. It's an aversion, but not a phobia.

So, she has a couple of things she's having me do. First, go see another behavioral therapist in Indiana. She's getting me a list. She says it doesn't have to be one who specializes in GI problems, which is good, because there's only one of those in Indiana and she's not on our insurance.

Secondly, she is having me do deep breathing exercises, especially in the morning before I've done any heaving. She thinks that if I do it properly, the extra oxygen should relax my muscles and stimulate the vagus nerve, which will hopefully stop the heaving.

The only thing I didn't like is that she didn't let my wife sit in via Facetime or speakerphone because that was not allowed, which means I have to rely on my anxiety and stress-ridden brain to remember everything because my mother sure won't. What a mistake to bring her along.

I'm still hoping to see an ENT while I'm here because no ENT has ever evaluated me and it's worth an evaluation, but I'm in triage for that, so if they don't have me go in tomorrow, I'll have to do it in Indiana because we leave on Friday, or at least will be kicked out of this AirBnB, and my mother refuses to stay in a hotel.

Anyway, this is the first day since I got here last Monday that I actually felt like they were helping me and doing something about my problem. It would have been really fucking nice if they had done it without only a 2 day window, but it's better than nothing.

I don't know if they're going to do anything for me because of what the first doctor did, but I feel like they owe me some sort of reimbursement at the very least. Apparently a patient advocate will be reaching out to me in the near future.

And now, more crazy mother stories!

From Monday:

I went to take a shower and when I told my mother, we had this conversation-

“Take your phone with you.”

“Into the shower?”

“Well what happens if they call?”

“You’ll have to answer it.”

Then I give her my phone and she asks what code she’s supposed to enter when they call. She has the same make and model of phone as I do. You don’t need to enter a code.

The best part is we had this exactly same conversation last week.

Later we go shopping and we buy a couple of boxes of Ensure (my main source of nutrition).

“How long will these 32 Ensures last you?”

“At six a day-”

“I thought you took four a day.”

“I did, but the doctor told me I should take 6-8.”

“He did?”

She was in the room at the time. It was also last week.

We are driving back-

“I thought the Mayo Clinic was going to be like the ER, where a whole team of doctors works on you at once.”

“Mom, I’ve been in the ER four times in the last year. They don’t do that there.”

“Yes they do, I’ve seen the shows!”

Then, when we get back-

“Ok, we’re back, I’m going to my room so you can have your chicken.”

“I’m not going to have my chicken yet, I’m going to get my coat off.”

“That’s fine, I’m just going to go now before it starts smelling.”

I go to my room. 2 minutes later- knock knock “I’m going to have my chicken now.”

Yesterday, she kept getting tornado alerts on her watch because it's localized to Indiana and kept saying, "is that in Rochester?!" Yes, it's snowy with a chance of tornadoes. She also this morning said "there's salt on the ground. Is it slippery out?" Not anymore due to the salt.

As for today, the appointment was at 9:45. She insisted we leave at 8 to get a parking space in one of the multiple 10-storey parking garage. I was able to talk her into 8:45. She complained the whole way there that we would be late and started panicking in the car in the parking garage since there was a slow line in front of us. Then we got out and she looked at her watch and it was like 9:03. She said, "wow, we have so much time!"

I celebrated something finally happening by buying a $30 bottle of ruby port, which I am looking forward to having this evening.

We're either leaving tomorrow or Friday and then I don't want to see my mother for a while.

EDIT: Just got denied a Mayo ENT consult and was told to get a local one (which is fine). So I guess we're going home tomorrow. Thank god.

EDIT 2: I just got a call from the Mayo patient advocate. They will not be charging me for the GI visit and they will be reimbursing us for some of the AirBnB cost. I appreciate them making things right.

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[–] FlyingSquid -2 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Wow! Thanks so much, doctor!

But wait- how is any of that going to stop me from dry heaving every morning before the thought of food even enters my mind?

And you never told me what you thought of ERP and HRT / ComB model as therapies. Which do you consider, in your professional medical opinion, to be more important in my case? Based on my medical history, of course.

stop being so damn dramatic. I doubt you try anything suggested seriously when youre so sure of your “woe-is-me” mentality - only you can do this

You're right. All those days in the hospital, the many doctor visits around my state, the gallbladder removal, the driving 8 1/2 hours to Minnesota and staying for two weeks... I clearly never tried anything seriously. But then, having read my medical history, know know this.

recognise that your emotions and your thinking is the problem here, so think about how to separate that from the physical action of eating - maybe needs mental health support

Please explain why not a single medical professional I have seen since January 2023 has suggested this but you have, doctor. What specifically in my medical history do you base this prognosis on? What emotions in specific do I associate with eating, doctor?

go back to bascis - babies start with foods like mashed banana, boiled pureed broccili or peas, one small spoonful and it is stopped before they decide it’s too much. Find something similar to what you do have already. Gradually reintroduce lumps into the puree

Weird, doctor. Because I thought you knew my history here. Pureed foods are not possible for me to swallow despite having tried it many times. I don't think you've spent a lot of time looking at my clinical notes at all.

And you still haven't explained why you called the Mayo Clinic expensive when it cost me $120.

[+] [email protected] -7 points 8 months ago (2 children)

[removed by mod]

[–] [email protected] 11 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I wonder how you think you come across in this? 😬

[+] [email protected] -3 points 8 months ago (1 children)

[removed by mod]

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago (1 children)

It's disappointing that you're not a troll account based on your other posts. You really thought it was worth being an armchair doctor and a bully here, that spending the effort to antagonize someone was a better use of your time than just moving on or hitting the block button. Really the same energy as telling a person with depression to just decide to stop being sad. I don't know whether you woke up on the wrong side of the bed or have just grown up without developing much empathy at all, but I hope you can find better outlets for your negativity than this.

[–] APassenger -1 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

FS may be under significant stress. But they are also telling stories with unadulterated disdain and toxin. Stories that, if discovered by the individuals, would cause serious harm to well... Their whole family.

This isn't the place, I wouldn't think, to vent ones toxins. But that's what's happened here, and to a sympathetic, accepting audience.

Someone was going to have enough with the toxin. Enough with the idea that mom isn't good enough while trying to be helpful.

Ive been through shit too. The people around me were going through it too. Compassion was in order on all sides.

Edit: I understand that my message isn't the most delightful, but the down votes further indicate: lemmy has a maturity issue.

Getting care at one of the best medical institutions (despite imperfections, and yes doctors are people too) at moms expense of money, time, and emotional work. And the issue is that she's just entirely annoying. C'mon.

I get it. But it's the price of admission or stay home. If these threads make it to mom, it's a problem. And it's immortalized on the internet.

Any troll could f this up. It. Is. Immature. Fool hardy. And it's being given a welcoming platform.

I get that the resolution was not satisfying, but there was very little gratitude in those posts. He's not the only person on this ride.

[–] FlyingSquid -3 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Well don't worry, doctor. You won't have to suffer to me anymore.

I "told the whole internet" something that multiple people specifically requested I update them on. I didn't even want to.

Thanks for ruining my day. I look forward to you harassing me more elsewhere on Lemmy.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago

You are very patient. If it were me I would have blocked them after their first or second asshole reply. Absolutely audacious level of bullshit on their part. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that.