this post was submitted on 22 Mar 2024
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[–] frazw 61 points 9 months ago (2 children)

On the religion side the last picture should be the same as the first.

[–] poplargrove 55 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

That was the original. Evolution of the meme:

In retrospect I should've posted the second image, seems funnier.

[–] Wilzax 6 points 9 months ago

Should have posted version 1's science timeline with your own religion timeline

[–] [email protected] 50 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (2 children)

Plot twist: God sent the scientists to make the bionic arm

[–] [email protected] 31 points 9 months ago (1 children)

God also removed the arm of the child though

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] whereisk 25 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Never mind the biblical bit where god says he creates evil, you'll never convince the religious with facts and logic. They've got to feel it or realize it themselves.

[–] whereisk 10 points 9 months ago (1 children)

The ancients had more sense: at least a capricious, emotional God similar to humans (like the ancient Greek gods) that does everything including create evil and allows the torturing of people on a bet at the high council reconciles better with nature.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Ouch. Job was a trip and a half.

My, what a benevolent god is god to bet with the life of his most loyal worshiper. A bet he looses... against Satan? And then god goes down and brags about his achievements to cow his tortured worshiper?

That actually fits with the days of Olympus quite well actually.

[–] whereisk 8 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Also everything he lost is treated indistinguishably from property - e.g. he dismissss his wife to sleep with other men, he's made whole by being given more children (probably with some other woman/en), as if having more children would replace the children you lost - it's an insane piece of text.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Exactly.

Also, ~~slaves,~~ I mean servants are all virtually identical, right? Not like you can get attached to people who are just servants.

And god's divine plan for all of those people goes out the door as soon as Satan is like, "Is this one person really faithful though? If I take all the things you granted him, will he still love you?"

But a good representation if god existed, we'd all be toys. God would've planned all this from the start with his omnipotence when he set all the pieces in motion like an enormous rube goldberg mess to torture people for no reason. Create evil indeed.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

I find it hilarious we still come to the Gnostic conclusion repeatedly even after 2kish years

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

He's with all of his children now. Lol.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

they've got to feel it

Whap 'em upside the head with the relevant page of the Bible.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 9 months ago (3 children)

one time in middle school i prayed for an xbox and a couple weeks later a boy who had a crush on me (but i didnt know that at the time) gave me his old original xbox and fable: tlc as he upgraded to a newer xbox. so ya religion is pretty nifty 😎

[–] [email protected] 23 points 9 months ago (2 children)

i also prayed that my school would burn down in the middle of the night multiple times but that never happened but at least i had an xbox

[–] [email protected] 18 points 9 months ago (2 children)

I've been praying Jesus would just fuck Satan and get it over with. The sexual tension is way too high.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

they should take inspiration from all the fan fiction of Good Omens!

[–] drengbarazi 2 points 9 months ago

What do you really think was going down there before the 3rd day?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I think god is just handing out Xboxes instead of granting prayers

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

now that u mention it i can't think of a single other prayer i ever made getting answered so you might be right

maybe god is just sponsored by microsoft (this existence brought to you by: Xbox Game Pass)

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago (1 children)

That isn't how religion works though.

You just got to steal the xbox, then pray for forgiveness.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago (1 children)

i've had my eye on the Steam Deck lately, will keep this in mind 🤔

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago (1 children)

You could just convince the pope to call for a holy war, that way you don't even have to ask for forgiveness when you take a nonbeliever's steam desk.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

well my bf is catholic so that gives me an in

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (2 children)

He knew you wanted a xbox because he was stalking you.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

So romantic <3

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

lol i honestly never thought about that

we went to a really small school (when i was in middle school there were like 15 students in the middle school and high school grades all combined, by the time i was in 12th there were 4 high school students all in different grades) so if i had to guess and give him the benefit of the doubt i'd guess that because we lived in such a small community and probably had a lot of mutual friends and connections, he probably just knew enough about me to know that i was into video games and my family was too poor to buy consoles/computers so i was still playing on a PS1 that my older siblings got for Christmas once while everyone else my age were on or moving to PS4 and (i think) Xbox One

[–] UsedRealNameB4 32 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (2 children)

Homie, there's literally a game called God Hand and you chose DmC smh.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] TheCheddarCheese 9 points 9 months ago (1 children)

wtf is that junji ito or smth

[–] poplargrove 14 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

No bro, that's Femto.

Berserk is the main character.

His side kick is Fuck.

Mentor and first lover Donovan.

And MVP Schnoz.

[–] Gabu 6 points 9 months ago

You deserve a good spanking for using "DmC" instead of "DMC". We do not talk about the abomination that is "DmC".

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago

The next devil may cry game has the same character with a robot arm. Why not use that?

[–] Pharmacokinetics 5 points 9 months ago
[–] ZILtoid1991 1 points 9 months ago

Rules of Religion