this post was submitted on 09 Feb 2024
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[–] [email protected] 84 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (2 children)

It's always just a bunch of word salad.

I sent them a memorandum to fineagle and reassess, along with my stamped proof of residual sentience, but they haven't gotten back to me about my right to reconnoiter.

[–] Naja_Kaouthia 28 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Hey can I get you to co-sign my writ of certification certifying that I’m a former and current eukaryote?

[–] homesweethomeMrL 19 points 9 months ago (1 children)

You mean a private, unincorporated natural graduated zygote? Oh absolutely. Just let me get the notary of Registror the Imperative and a gallon of matriculated justifier.

[–] Naja_Kaouthia 12 points 9 months ago

Don’t forget to CC the Grand Admiral of the Ocean so he can certify my validity and bona fides for use in the Admirality Court.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

That's how magic spells sound to non-magic users. Like all magic their shit is also made up.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago (1 children)

luckily us real magic users use the proper and serious terminology

like "pinkily piggily dee, a fiddly tiddly tee, make me a sausage sandwich and a nice cuppa tea"

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Piggiliy diddly dee, I sent them a notice of opportunity with cure.

[–] [email protected] 65 points 9 months ago (2 children)

... by the doctrine of avoidable consequences

that's official government talk for "you're a dumbass on purpose"

[–] [email protected] 26 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

And unclean hands, which is lawyer for "you did this to yourself".

And failure to mitigate, which is legalese for "and then you kept making it worse.

And doctrine of laches, which is courtroom talk for "and then you proceeded to ignore the problem until is bit you in the ass, before you finally tried to sue."

[–] Nastybutler 11 points 9 months ago

Also known as "I'm suffering from the consequences of my actions"

[–] Okokimup 60 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Is it a requirement that these native English speakers barely speak english?

[–] betterdeadthanreddit 46 points 9 months ago

If they understood what words meant, they wouldn't be SovCits.

[–] BonesOfTheMoon 12 points 9 months ago

They definitely aren't too bright.

[–] BonesOfTheMoon 53 points 9 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 32 points 9 months ago (3 children)

Thanks for the extra details, I love their certainty the their process means there's 'no argument'. This guy's going to get a fascinating leason in court.

[–] BonesOfTheMoon 21 points 9 months ago (1 children)

They always assure each other they're right, and they're always wrong.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago

It rather brings to mind the quote from Pauli: "That is not only not right; it is not even wrong", in that it's such utter nonsense that it makes no sense in the context.

[–] AnalogyAddict 4 points 9 months ago

Will he, though?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

17 lessons in fact.

[–] SeabassDan 9 points 9 months ago

yes, I did everything notarized

what matters is the judge's ruling

Notary's milking these guys dry, and the judge only matters until they rule against this poor dude.

[–] Prestron 27 points 9 months ago

Requesting dismissal with prejudice is just a great detail. If granted, and the plaintiff tries to bring another suit for the same events, they’ll basically be told to GTFO.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Soooo he didn’t even go after the correct towing company.

[–] yuriy 22 points 9 months ago (1 children)

He probably named them individually in the suit in addition to the company. One could argue he’s alleging that the named parties all personally engaged in towing his vehicle.

[–] edgemaster72 19 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Classic SovCit "logic", can't be held responsible for their actions because that was the company set up in their name not their living person, but then tries to hold a company and other individual persons responsible for shit they don't like

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago

It's actually not that weird to do this. You just scattershot everyone involved and let them figure out who acted on behalf of whom. If you don't, the company could just say "hey, these guys are self-employed and just lease our impound yard" and you'd have to file a whole new suit.

[–] homesweethomeMrL 17 points 9 months ago (1 children)

That reminds me I need to run to the store to pick up some more silents.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago