this post was submitted on 19 Jan 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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top 27 comments
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[–] [email protected] 37 points 5 months ago (1 children)

What's the matter? Cat got your shlong?

[–] theangryseal 6 points 5 months ago

I almost woke my kid up chuckling. :p

[–] [email protected] 19 points 5 months ago

All cat owners can relate 😔

[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 months ago (5 children)

Why is the dick slit horizontal?

[–] [email protected] 36 points 5 months ago

They used to be horizontal until about 1668, it was a side effect of the great plague.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 months ago

Yours isn't?

[–] ObviouslyNotBanana 6 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] Viking_Hippie 2 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

That wasn't an explanation, it was a compliment for you.

[–] lemmyman 1 points 5 months ago

Leonardo da Vinci developed dick realism in the 1500s, prior to that artists were literally retarded

[–] Skanky -3 points 5 months ago

Only compatible with women from Asia

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago

One fish is an insulting offer for a sausage that size, come on man

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

We do actually tell this to kids around here "be good or a cat will eat your pee pee".

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

In just a few short years they'll be very interested in feeding their pee pees to kitties.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

My thoughts exactly... kids, you have no idea what you're missing.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

"Aahhhhh, fuck. What's a cat's nose look like again? Whatever."

[–] c0mbatbag3l 2 points 5 months ago

"Shit, were the ears on the side or on top? Fuck it, I'll just wing the difference 'tween 'em."

[–] Nei 11 points 5 months ago (2 children)
[–] Jimmyeatsausage 9 points 5 months ago

This is what it feels like to look at a meme with NO context. 300 years from now, people will be going to college to study archeology and learning about OAG, rage faces, and soyjak.

[–] psud 4 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Detachable penis

YouTube search cannot autocomplete 'penis'

[–] FlyingSquid 10 points 5 months ago

This is how boring it was to be a monk in the middle ages. You draw stuff like this in the margins when you aren't painstakingly copying a Roman treatise on Aristotle's Poetics.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago

This isn't just random weirdness. There was apparently a point in the middle aged when a lot of people believed cats would steal men's genitals.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago (1 children)

You can get this on a pin (not the seller; had problems with the seller so YMMV). The art itself is called “Flaisch Macht Flaisch.”

[–] ObviouslyNotBanana 4 points 5 months ago

That's really cool!

[–] TrickDacy 5 points 5 months ago
[–] Viking_Hippie 3 points 5 months ago

Gotta stop leaving that thing next to the litter box!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

I'd be giving the cat payment for taking my dick, not a trade to get it back