this post was submitted on 08 Jan 2024
435 points (98.4% liked)

Humor

7452 readers
179 users here now

"Laugh-a-Palooza: Unleash Your Inner Chuckle!"

Rules


Read Full Rules Here!


Rule 1: Keep it light-hearted. This community is dedicated to humor and laughter, so let’s keep the tone light and positive.


Rule 2: Respectful Engagement. Keep it civil!


Rule 3: No spamming!


Rule 4: No explicit or NSFW content.


Rule 5: Stay on topic. Keep your posts relevant to humor-related topics.


Rule 6: Moderators Discretion. The moderators retain the right to remove any content, ban users/bots if deemed necessary.


Please report any violation of rules!


Warning: Strict compliance with all the rules is imperative. Failure to read and adhere to them will not be tolerated. Violations may result in immediate removal of your content and a permanent ban from the community.


We retain the discretion to modify the rules as we deem necessary.


founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 37 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] themeatbridge 43 points 10 months ago (4 children)

Oh, shit, if the rapture actually happens, I'm going to be so fucked trying to take care of all those pets.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 10 months ago (2 children)

No you won't. If it actually happens, only the ones that followed the word of God get to go. Not the ones that twisted it, or were rich while poor existed.

Hardly anyone will get to go.

[–] surewhynotlem 5 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Have you read the book?? God is a controlling psycho mass murderer. Those people will get in.

The rest of the book, with the good bits, is just to make the idiots complacent.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 10 months ago (2 children)

"I don't like Christianity, therefore the Bible is not canon to itself."

[–] surewhynotlem 8 points 10 months ago

The Bible isn't even self-consistent, let alone canon.

[–] [email protected] -2 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

Current Bible has been rewritten a bunch of times by different people. Definitely not canon.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago (2 children)

It's not a millenia-long game of whisper down the lane. We have access to the original text. And we still cross-reference different translations to be sure.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

Uh, aren't the original texts that were compiled to make the bible long gone? What "original texts" are you referring to? A cursory search couldn't find anything except Christian pages saying the original texts no longer exist.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

It's authoritative but not original. See https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Masoretic_Text

It was primarily copied, edited, and distributed by a group of Jews known as the Masoretes between the 7th and 10th centuries of the Common Era (CE).

The differences attested to in the Dead Sea Scrolls indicate that multiple versions of the Hebrew scriptures already existed by the end of the Second Temple period.[1] Which is closest to a theoretical Urtext is disputed, as is whether such a singular text ever existed.

That text is the best we have, but is not original. Plus, it's disputed as to whether there was ever one "original", since the bible is a compilation of various texts which may not have had the exact same text all together in one book as an original.

The text you have linked is from hundreds of years after there would have been an original.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

Huh, good to know, thanks.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I guess you’re choosing to ignore the generations of Jews who kept the tradition and texts alive.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago

The original claim was:

It’s not a millenia-long game of whisper down the lane. We have access to the original text. And we still cross-reference different translations to be sure.

All I said is that the original texts are long gone. Sure the generations of Jews kept the word of God and traditions alive, but we don't have the original texts. We have the Masoretic text, and we know that is different to what was in use prior because of the Dead Sea Scrolls found in the 1940s and 50s that were mostly the same but with some differences. And the Dead Sea Scolls were not original either, with scrolls found from different Jewish sects.

The different scripts were also written at different times, separated by at least many hundreds of years.

We may have different ideas of what "original" means. In my view, "generations of Jews who kept the tradition and texts alive" is quite different from having the original texts.

[–] c0mbatbag3l 1 points 10 months ago

And? That's still a group of people claiming to be God's chosen who have nothing but their own political-religious historical texts to draw that conclusion from.

If a Swede claimed they were Odin's chosen people, would you just immediately accept that their God is real?

[–] c0mbatbag3l 1 points 10 months ago

If by "original text" you mean "the first full version which was written over a century after the proclaimed event."

We have like four words and one corner of papyri from Mark in the first century, not exactly a bulletproof passdown.

[–] Serinus 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Doesn't it specify something like 131,000 people?

[–] xantoxis 8 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Are you talking about Jehovah's Witnesses? I believe the number was 144,000. Long since passed, btw, IDK how they get new converts any more.

[–] surewhynotlem 7 points 10 months ago

Because a dozen dozen thousand was basically their way of saying a billion million brazilian. It was senselessly large in their eyes.

[–] jaybone 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Is that the one where you get your own planet?

[–] xantoxis 2 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I believe that one is mormons.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

And they don’t even provide it anymore. When’s the last time someone stole a planet from you?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

Have to go**

I think you mean

[–] thorbot 11 points 10 months ago

I will adopt ALL the cats

[–] [email protected] 11 points 10 months ago (1 children)

.... Wait, the Post-Rapture Pet Care insurance guy uses Lemmy?!

[–] themeatbridge 7 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Oh no, I can't claim to be the original. More of a copycatsitter.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago
[–] Buddahriffic 36 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Not sure which is grosser: if that discolouration was caused before or after the death. I don't think they'll get their asking price for that, though. Assuming it isn't just meant to troll christians into thinking they missed the rapture.

[–] The_Cleanup_Batter 50 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Based on the discoloration and the color of the walls I'm assuming it just belonged to an elderly smoker and that was their smoking chair.

[–] Buddahriffic 16 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Yeah that could be it. So the body shape on the chair might be the clean part. Ugh.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I assumed it was body oils keeping the leather from darkening in age but that's plausible too.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

Possible to an extent I suppose, though with the clear silhouette of the whole body, that seems like it would entail a lot of nude usage for a chair in a "family" area.

[–] jaybone 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Lol yeah. This gets brought up every time this is posted.

[–] Buddahriffic 6 points 10 months ago

This is not a fun time to be one of today's 10,000.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Idk, if this is the original placement of the chair, usually there's a small ash tray near by. A long term smoker doesn't use plants because it's piles up. Looking at the bright lights above the chair, my money is on reading chair. Probably heat or light damage.

[–] Fedizen 1 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

if the room had full sun visibility and the windows didnt filter UV light it could just be somebody sitting in the chair for years in daylight and the darkening is from the chair getting more sunlight. Especially if the room only got lots of sun in say the morning or evening

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago

Oh I'm sure they'll find crazies that will believe this shit and will actually feel bad for the poor atheists...

[–] djasee 5 points 10 months ago

Looks like a nice chair to me!