this post was submitted on 29 Dec 2023

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853

Bonjour, je m'appelle Jesus (lemmy.world)

submitted 10 months ago by FlyingSquid to c/lemmyshitpost

53 comments fedilink hide all child comments

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[–] [email protected] 45 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Can Jesus really shoot rays of emotion out of his belly like a common care bear?

[–] Jerb322 18 points 10 months ago (1 children)

From thier harts, man, come on😁

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

Nothing hurts more than the "Jesus cares" stare.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Care Bears are the truly biblically accurate angels confirmed

[–] [email protected] 42 points 10 months ago (3 children)

That’s the Dutch 🇳🇱 flag, not the French 🇫🇷 one

[–] Tikiporch 37 points 10 months ago (1 children)

From Jesuis perspective, it's le French.

[–] isthingoneventhis 10 points 10 months ago

I mean.... it's kinda both when you look at it 👀

[–] TheJims 5 points 10 months ago

Ohhh now it makes perfect sense

[–] effward 34 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Needs more baguette!

Thanks DALL-E

[–] RGB3x3 15 points 10 months ago (1 children)

More baguette you say?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Well that's fucking glorious.

[–] RGB3x3 4 points 10 months ago

Have another, Avengers: Baguette

[–] RGB3x3 3 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

I do have too much fun with this

[–] [email protected] 19 points 10 months ago

Also he steals her child

[–] [email protected] 18 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Damn the Bible really is brutal

[–] platypus_plumba 3 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

"Mercy! MERCY, please! Ahhhhh!

Mercy, s'il vous plaît... Mer... Merci. Merci beaucoup! hon hon hon hon!"

Luke 2:1-20

[–] [email protected] 14 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

could be worse like making her american

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago

Only the fallen one can work such evils.

[–] superbirra 13 points 10 months ago (2 children)

JE SUIS JESUS

[–] dylanTheDeveloper 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Je sus

[–] superbirra 2 points 10 months ago

american canadian

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Je suce ma bite.

[–] superbirra 2 points 10 months ago

canadian american

[–] [email protected] 13 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I received a strong catholic education, the red and blue are symbols for the blood and water that came out from Jesus side when he was pierced by a Roman soldier, John 19:34

Instead, one of the soldiers pierced Jesus’ side with a spear, bringing a sudden flow of blood and water.

[–] Senshi 8 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Wait, why was Jesus full of water? I thought humans are usually filled with blood.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

Firemen? That's probably related...

[–] Augustiner 12 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I banish thy bad breath with the power of Colgate

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Depends on your perspective. To me it looks like he's absorbing her soul. Time to feed I guess? Jesus, Harvester of Souls, sounds metal af

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago

"Midnight Mass" on Netflix, I'm just saying...

[–] dylanTheDeveloper 2 points 10 months ago (1 children)

He's sucking the French outta them

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

He can suck the French outta me anytime. I do love long haired foreign twinks

[–] RIP_Cheems 10 points 10 months ago (1 children)

TASTE THE RAINBOW, MOTHERFUCKER

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

Jesus turning the girls gay.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago

He's giving her a sign to just surrender already.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago

Looks more Dutch than French to me.

[–] cley_faye 5 points 10 months ago

When you turn French you just stop caring about sins.

[–] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Je suis un ananas.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

NoOn, ceux naille pas pawssible.

[–] niktemadur 4 points 10 months ago

Ooh La La!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

It's super effective!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

Jesus is holding baby jesus

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

France it the Goat. Have you had boeuf bourguignon with chefs lemon tear-gas from your striking (actually the coolest thing)?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

...le whut?

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[–] berkeleyblue 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Ooooohhhh…. That‘s a bit harsh. What could she have done to deserve this

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

I mean why do you think she's crying?

[–] Pregnenolone 2 points 10 months ago

Is the baby France?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I get a strong sense there is a secret tunnel full of antiques behind that wall...?

[–] harmsy 2 points 10 months ago

Seeeeecret tuuuunneeellll! Seeeeecret tunnneeeeeellllll!

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