Ask Lemmy
A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions
Rules: (interactive)
1) Be nice and; have fun
Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them
2) All posts must end with a '?'
This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?
3) No spam
Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.
4) NSFW is okay, within reason
Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either [email protected] or [email protected].
NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].
5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions.
If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email [email protected]. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.
Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.
Partnered Communities:
Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
view the rest of the comments
Oh, I got one! The hobby is browsing advice subs. The fucked up practice is just how common and easy it is for some people to tell a complete fucking stranger to end a relationship. People are disgusting. I remember way back when Reddit told me to leave my now-wife of ten years because she had the unforgivable condition of... depression ๐ and I still see this shit every single day. OP reported some choice words? Break up. OP isn't sure? Break up. OP loves them but their partner blah blah blah? Break up. Every valley too low, every mountain too high, no relationship can work out to a Redditor. The fucking gall of these people to constantly be telling complete strangers to make a major life altering decision, and how flippantly they do it... it just pisses me off. They don't know a damn thing about "red flags".
The thing I got tired of seeing was people acting like someone going to an advice sub meant they had to take what advice was given like it was some choose your own adventure story for the people replying. Some would even get enraged that OP would push back against things said or would treat it as a chance to play Sherlock and figure out that OP is the sinister bad guy in the story and half of it is lies. And sure, maybe that's sometimes the case, but if you stop going from OP's account, you're just making up a fan fiction.
My advice for anyone reading this: don't blindly follow advice. Just treat it as a chance to gain new perspectives you might otherwise have missed and then use your own brain and first-hand knowledge of your situation plus the other perspectives to decide what you want to do. Even wrong decisions aren't always wrong if you needed to live through the experience of making that wrong decision to learn why it's wrong and know to avoid it in the future.
I feel that. I had posted about my relationship a few months ago and while the correct thing to do was break it off, we weren't completely at that point yet which is why I had posted to ask.
Luckily i did get a lot of great advice, some of it being breakup but with a lot more nuance