this post was submitted on 04 Mar 2024

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Why would your best friend or someoneyou mutually considered a good friend suddenly ghost you? (self.asklemmy)

submitted 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) by cheese_greater to c/asklemmy

71 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Is there a way to figure out if they blocked youon Signal if you can still technically message them?

~~Edit: he seems to have blocked me or hasn't used Signal since a single emphatically non-controversial/non-hurtful comment so he either blocked me or hasn't opened Signal for >month. He's not responding to anything else either so he's either depressed or blocked+done with me.~~

Edit: I'll know when it comes birthday time. I'm not a Bridezilla about birthdays but it would be unusual for him to not wish me one. He's never not done so. I'll have my answer when that happens 🙏 (namaste) If he wants to be a dick about it and leave me in the dark totally those days are fortunatley numbered :/

Edit: we're white and very (North)-American.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago (1 children)

This behavior kind of feels borderline neurotic. I'd just give them some space, and try not to hyperfixate.

[–] cheese_greater -2 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

Honestly, dude, im leaving it be. Nothing actively done. This is my best friend I thougt I had, please try tk stop being a dick, how can you not get why I woulnd't be super distressed and invested in this

I literally have no choice in any case so please stop. I'm not asking for people to enable me, im just asking for understanding and...i dont effing no...good night everyone, i just dontknow anymore

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago

Sorry.

[–] A_Very_Big_Fan 2 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

Fwiw, as long as you're not spamming them or anything I don't think there's anything neurotic here. There's nothing wrong with being emotionally invested in a friendship, or being stressed out about signs it might have ended or changed.

At the same time, because I know nothing about you or your friend, I feel compelled to reference one of my favorite pieces of advice from a classic rock song: "hold on loosely, but don't let go. If you cling too tightly, you might lose control." Meaning holding on too tightly to someone might be off-putting whether them distancing themself was intentional or not. Your best bet might just be to demonstrate your independence as a person and wait to see what happens.

[–] cheese_greater 2 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Oh I absolutey am cutting him loose as he's done to me until he answers for it, we're going on 3 months soon so that is unacceptable to not recognizing someone and preventing them from contacting them. At some point, there is only one explanation and at the end of the day, I feel my time is more valuable than ceding freely to someone who objectively makes it impossible to touch base with em and letting me waste more time finding out what the deal is.

Even then, if he wants to be balding baby about it, he's probably out anyway. I've grown tired of (t)his bullshit