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At what age do you think is too old to be living with parents? (self.asklemmy)

submitted 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) by treechicken to c/asklemmy

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Background+rant: I'm in my early to mid-20s and still living at home with my dad. I'm not a NEET and am employed at a normal office job. I enjoy the comfort of my home. I like being with family (and I believe they feel blessed to have their kid at home longer). I like not having to pay rent. However, I also keep feeling some nagging pressure to "grow up and leave the nest".

Everything in my mind tells me that moving out is irrational. I would lose 1/3rd of my income to rent, go through a bunch of logistical hoops to find a new place, lose the last few moments I have with my family, just so I can prove to nobody that I'm independent, maybe discover new things, and also probably get in on some of that loneliness action that the rest of my generation is going through.

Yet, the pressure is still there. No one looks down on me for it, but I feel a bit embarrassed to tell people I'm living at home, like I'm admitting failure or incompetency. My friends will occasionally ask when I'm planning on moving out and the question just lingers longer than it should in my head. I compare myself to my parents and grandparents and can't help but feel like a child compared to the people they were when they were at my age.

Obviously quite conflicted on this, so I'm interested in seeing what others have to say.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Your family must not be my family. I could be in the exact same situation, but I'm choosing to barely make rent each month on a 1br.

It is very expensive, but if I lived at home, I could not have sex, and having a partner over for non-sex reasons would be...very weird.

Plus, my family doesn't allow me to cook anything in oil because of the smells. Boiling, baking, and grilling only.

So...yeah. I like having a partner. And having some nookie. Plus, the space is nice.

[–] Abucketofpuppies 5 points 8 months ago

Even aside from sex, dating in general is so awkward as an adult when living at home. Like, say your date suggests you watch a TV show You would have to take them home and probably meet your parents etc.. definitely worth moving out for me after a certain point.

[–] TexasDrunk 2 points 8 months ago

I turned 18 when I was still in high school. I couch surfed with my friends pretty much the next week until I graduated then officially moved into my own place the second I went full time. Part of it was the same reasons you mentioned. I was an adult and wanted to do things my way. Part of it was that I felt stifled at home from the time I was 13.

I don't really understand people who stay at their parents house after they're able to leave, but if it works for them and OP doesn't mind the drawbacks then I say more power to them.

Of course it took me years to be able to share a place with a partner at all so I may be broken.