Ask Lemmy

What are your interests? There’s often a local group for any kind of activity, from Dungeons and Dragons to rock climbing.

The best thing about meeting people through shared interests is that it’s a huge ice breaker - you know there’s definitely something you’ll have in common and can talk about with people in the group.

There’s sites like MeetUp for finding local groups - even a walking group is still a great way to meet people and get some exercise. Also Bumble isn’t just a dating app but also a friend-making app (I think they call that feature BFF).

Check out this website too for finding similar apps and sites to the ones I’ve suggested above as you never know what site will be more popular in your local area.

Also, you mentioned you’ve got a kid. Depending on their age etc, you should try and get involved with any events or extra curricular activities they do as you meet other parents there and you’ll have something to talk about (your kids). Perhaps there’s some local clubs or activities your kid can join and you can talk to other adults there during pick up and drop off (turn up early - it’s a great way to bump into people).

Regarding my last suggestion, approach other parents with honest questions like “How is your kid finding [this activity]?” or “Sorry to bother you but you wouldn’t happen to know of any other good kids activities in the area / suggestions for fun weekend things to do or places to go with your kid?”.

Make sure you introduce yourself afterwards along the lines of “I’m so sorry, my name is [your name]. I’m so rusty with talking to adults outside of work. With work and the kid, I don’t talk to adults enough haha!”.

You’d be so surprised how many other parents are in the exact same boat as you - it’s really hard to meet people unless you put concerted effort into it.

Finally, start saying hi to people when you’re walking around your local area or browsing local stores and cafes etc. I always greet my neighbors when I’m out for a walk and whilst most times it’s just a nice “Morning” to one another as we keep the same pace and walk past each other but several neighbors have actually stopped to chat (they instigated after my friendly “Morning”) and now I’ve gained a few new friends only a few doors away.

Walk with a smile and with friendly posture (hands out of pockets and with a straight back and shoulders). You’ll be so surprised how effective presenting yourself as a kind and approachable person is in itself a huge ice breaker and other people will want to chalk up a conversation with you.

Hang in there. It all takes time but keeping the welcoming attitude about yourself, day after day, a few weeks of “Morning!”s can turn into conversations which can grow into friendships. I believe in you!