this post was submitted on 20 Jan 2025
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My neighbor is in her 70s. I'm in my late 20s and live in the apartment upstairs from her, so when it snows I like to help clean off her car/shovel out her parking spot. Today she tried to pay me after I helped her. I don't want to accept the money, but want her to still feel comfortable asking for help/not feel like she's taking advantage of me. How should I go about this? Maybe ask her for something small so she feels like she's helping me too? It's never any trouble helping her with the snow removal, it never takes more than half an hour

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[–] rowinxavier 1 points 6 hours ago

Do you have an interest in the time of her childhood? Perhaps learning about her experience of how the world has changed? Most people find thinking and talking about the world they remember to be enjoyable and she may have interesting and unique perspectives on things. This can lead to learning about bigotry though, so be cautious, but learning about how the world has changed from her perspective could be very interesting.

The 1960s were a time of massive cultural change and technological advancement, and the 70s were also really cool from a change perspective. Learning how she did things like washing clothes, buying food, learning about something she was interested in, and so on can be really fun.

Once you have spent a little time chatting and maybe having a tea or coffee it can be a regular little social thing you do, and doing the snow shoveling is much easier to accept from someone you know than from a stranger. It would also make it feel safer knowing who you are rather than just some random younger guy.