this post was submitted on 23 Dec 2024
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Having the courage to talk about your own feelings is a sign of strength. Letting others control your life is weak.
I have definitely regretted talking openly about my feelings with a partner. It damaged the relationship because she was frustrated and not very understanding.
If your partner doesn't properly value your feelings and doesn't support you in your vulnerable moments, that is a bad sign for the relationship.
The point is many women are also impacted by toxic masculinity and will not positively receive their guy opening up / crying.
It's not just a "be yourself dude" dynamic for many, many men.
For better or worse everyone in their orbit expects a certain behavior
That relationship is over but that wasn’t the reason it ended. My point is that my willingness to share my feelings wasn’t seen as a sign of strength and I wasn’t supported for doing so. The relationship actually worked better for quite a while after that when I learned to take care of my own feelings (as I do now as a single person).
I think we as a society idealize one type of relationship where your partner is everything to you: lover, best friend, therapist, mentor, tennis partner… It’s not realistic and I think it’s a major reason so few relationships succeed nowadays. Most people are simply not equipped to be all those things for another person.
strongly describes how most women treat men.
I don' thind it matters who you talk to. I think that if noone in your life wants to listen or talk about how you feel, then you should get some new people in your life who will.
I’ve spent many hours on the therapist’s couch and in group therapy. They’ve taught me mindfulness strategies that work on processing how I feel. This has made life dramatically simpler for me. The hard part in life for me now is just the one that’s always been hard: food, rent, bills. As for all other feelings? I know what I want and what to do about it. I’m very much at peace.
You can't get a new family