Casual Conversation

1775 readers

460 users here now

Share a story, ask a question, or start a conversation about (almost) anything you desire. Maybe you'll make some friends in the process.

RULES

Be respectful: no harassment, hate speech, bigotry, and/or trolling
Keep the conversation nice and light hearted
Encourage conversation in your post
Avoid controversial topics such as politics or societal debates
Keep it clean and SFW: No illegal content or anything gross and inappropriate
No solicitation such as ads, promotional content, spam, surveys etc.
Respect privacy: Don’t ask for or share any personal information

Casual conversation communities:

Related discussion-focused communities

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

orangeNgreen

[email protected]

140

I fucking hate Christmas. (self.casualconversation)

submitted 3 days ago by NineMileTower to c/[email protected]

57 comments fedilink hide all child comments

On December 24th, 2008 I was almost 21 and drinking wine at my Grandma's house with my family. We were having a good time. I don't really talk to that side of the family anymore though. I got a phone call from my best friend, Kyle. I joking let my uncle answer. Kyle asked to talk to me. He sounded angry.

The next few words he said were like a a fucking nuclear bomb that seared my fucking brain for life. He said, "NineMileTower, Steve died (in Iraq). A bridge gave out, his hummer flipped, and he drowned."

That was in 2008. I'm 37 now. I have two beautiful girls and an amazing wife. I think of Steve all the time. I ask myself, "Why do I deserve these amazing kids, wife and life, and he had to die?"

I fucking hate Christmas. I hate the stupid music. I hate fake bullshit decorations. I hate that I'm supposed to pretend that every Christmas it doesn't fucking kill me that he isn't here. I'm here enjoying my kids and their holiday and he's dead.

I fucking hate Christmas.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] modeler 8 points 3 days ago (3 children)

If your partner doesn't properly value your feelings and doesn't support you in your vulnerable moments, that is a bad sign for the relationship.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 days ago

The point is many women are also impacted by toxic masculinity and will not positively receive their guy opening up / crying.

It's not just a "be yourself dude" dynamic for many, many men.

For better or worse everyone in their orbit expects a certain behavior

[–] chonglibloodsport 1 points 3 days ago

That relationship is over but that wasn’t the reason it ended. My point is that my willingness to share my feelings wasn’t seen as a sign of strength and I wasn’t supported for doing so. The relationship actually worked better for quite a while after that when I learned to take care of my own feelings (as I do now as a single person).

I think we as a society idealize one type of relationship where your partner is everything to you: lover, best friend, therapist, mentor, tennis partner… It’s not realistic and I think it’s a major reason so few relationships succeed nowadays. Most people are simply not equipped to be all those things for another person.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 days ago

strongly describes how most women treat men.