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the euphemism treadmill is a description of linguistic patterns, not a get out of rule free card
(files.catbox.moe)
Using ableist language as insults is always bad, even if the words seem innocuous. Some may reference the "euphemism treadmill" to try to justify their behavior, but it's crucial to understand that the treadmill is merely a linguistic observation. It does not exist to normalize ableist behavior.
what is the euphemism treadmill for those who dont want to google
"You're not normal! You CAN'T be normal, because then I'll no longer be THE normal! SHUT UP, THIS IS THE CONDITIONER FOR THE THREAD BY WHICH MY SANITY IS HANGING!"
“how can i have an identity without establishing and then demonizing an outgroup!?!”
Having an IQ of 60 isn't normal, it's life destroying. It's necessary to have some form of way of communicating that condition. Just because people can use that term to insult others doesn't change the fact that communication matters.
Life destroying literally just because we have built a society which caters to a very specific group of people with very specific characteristics. Otherwise, if it exists, then it is normal, even if it's not habitual or "aesthetically" pleasing.
As a concrete and extreme example, even something like lead poisoning and its effects on young children and newborns is natural, that's just what lead does. The fact that we allow the presence of lead in things which lead to said poisoning is the problem in this case.
As to your point about communication, I honestly think we can do away with the labels and just listen to people, understand them and their needs and try to create a more inclusive system. Everything seems to be a spectrum, the Universe itself is composed of spectra of all shapes and sizes. And given just how little we understand about everything there is, we're not really in a position to start labeling things as normal or abnormal. We're advanced, yes, but we're nowhere near having answers for the most complex questions.
There was a very interesting mentality active throughout the Middle Ages, namely the "others" were just considered human beings with different perspectives. I'm not advocating for a return to the Middle Ages in terms of medical psychology and development because that mentality paired with poor education and a hefty amount of superstition generated a lot of discomfort for the people with differing perspectives, but we're at the point in our development where I'd say it's worth considering what we can learn from it.