this post was submitted on 21 Nov 2024
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[–] rockSlayer 97 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

I'm ace. All I want are cuddles and garlic bread. For some reason it's considered an ethics violation for therapists to cuddle with clients

[–] [email protected] 63 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Have you considered cuddling with garlic bread? Solves both problems at once!

[–] 3laws 51 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

The Onion: Florida ace autistic man is the first to marry full human size garlic bread waifu pillow. Red Bull is the official sponsor of the wedding.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Redbull doing everything except making drinks part 5000

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago

Common misconception. Red Bull is more of a marketing company that sells its formula to manufacturing plants around the world. They mainly focus on advertising while the local manufacturing plants produce the product. Or maybe there are 2 heads would be a better statement.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I would totally buy a garlic bread dakimakura.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

But how would you resist eating it?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)
[–] Shou 19 points 3 weeks ago

Same. I need a cuddle buddy with whom I can commit crimes with.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Yes. You have to hire a different companion for professional cuddling, and thanks to our effed-up healthcare system, it's not covered by insurance.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago

I actually came across someone that offered that service once, they were working in the same co-working office as a colleague. They had flyers and everything.