this post was submitted on 04 Nov 2024

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101

People that grew up in poor neighborhoods (e.g. in the ghetto/barrio/~~sticks~~backwoods), what behaviors, customs, and beliefs did you change when you moved on up? (lemmy.autism.place)

submitted 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) by [email protected] to c/asklemmy

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Things in poor neighborhoods are done differently than in middle- and upper- class neighborhoods. People that grow up in poor neighborhoods develop behaviors, customs, and beliefs that are different from other neighborhoods because they are part of surviving in the struggle. When they move on up, some of those behaviors, customs, and beliefs are no longer necessary and can even be harmful (e.g. strong reactions to perceived attacks). Others may actually provide an advantage (e.g. living through power outages). Regardless, these changes can cause a sense of estrangement from their childhood and original culture, leading to some resistance. Given all that:

What did you change and what did you keep?

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[–] Num10ck 92 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

how to avoid appearing like you just escaped the lower classes:

stop keeping everything, just in case you might need it
stop buying random crap without seeing how it can justify your space/money/time.
stop eating garbage. eat consciously, expect you will need to feel great instead of stopping hunger.
stop keeping in touch with toxic people just because you might need them someday.
stop seeking attention with the way you dress and talk, etc. don't appear needy. aim for tasteful.
preventative maintenance. fix things that are wonky before they fail at a bad time.
appear competent and secure, give eye contact, listen.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Yooooo, I needed to hear a few of those. Thank you very much!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Ditto, this post was quite helpful!

[–] Num10ck 8 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

glad to hear it.. try them for a month and report back what you experienced

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago

you got it, dude 👶👍

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago

stop keeping in touch with toxic people just because you might need them someday.

This one is big.

Had a talk with a guy recently. He's always putting other people ahead of him to give his life meaning. And yet it also stresses him out, doesn't get anything in return, and is only doing it because of a hypothetical "they'd do the same". But they don't?

[–] davidgro 7 points 3 weeks ago

Why'd you have to call me out like that with those first three?

(Seriously, not keeping stuff is so difficult. It's a strain on my marriage and I wish I could just flip a switch and not feel that instinct)