this post was submitted on 15 Sep 2024
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Just about every time J.D. Vance — the most unpopular vice presidential nominee in American history — opens his mouth, he ignites a firestorm of criticism and likely shaves another point off the Republican presidential ticket’s polling numbers.

On Sunday, in an interview with CNN’s Dana Bash, Vance admitted that he and Donald Trump made up a baseless and racist story about Haitian immigrants eating pets in Springfield, Ohio.

“If I have to create stories so that the American media actually has to pay attention to the suffering of American people, then that’s what I’m going to do,” said Vance, a U.S. Senator representing Ohio.

Ironically, Vance’s attempt to point out imagined “suffering” has led to actual suffering by his own constituents.

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[–] [email protected] 172 points 2 months ago (4 children)

If they both made it up, why aren't there calls for both to resign?

[–] [email protected] 78 points 2 months ago (1 children)

You can't resign from a job you don't have!

[–] FlyingSquid 44 points 2 months ago (2 children)

He can resign from society like Howard Hughes. I wish he would.

[–] [email protected] 42 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

And then write Harry Potter style books about himself!

  • President Trump and Roger Stone
  • President Trump and the Chamberpot of Secret Documents
  • President Trump and the Prisoner of Financial Scams
  • President Trump and Everyone's Fired
  • President Trump and the Order of the Hamberder
  • President Trump and the Half-Baked Concept of a Plan
  • President Trump and the Deathly Hollow Promise
[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I commend your commitment to the gag!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Thanks! Now that I've got a fan base to disappoint, it's time say something disturbingly sexist or transphobic.

Girls have a button and boys have a pole. Wicked touching takes its toll.

[–] emax_gomax 5 points 2 months ago

This is ridiculous. How do you not already have Holywood breaking down your doors for film rights Σ(゚∀゚ノ)ノ

[–] FlyingSquid 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Or just save his toenail clippings in jars like Hughes. Whatever. Just go into Mar-a-Lago and never come out of his room again.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

I thought he saved his urine in jars

Then again, I guess you can save multiple things in jars

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

for that he would need to have some kind of a honor code :/

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Maybe we can reinstitute societal shunning?

[–] davidgro 5 points 2 months ago

We tried to.
Called it cancelling.

[–] [email protected] 51 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (3 children)

Well they technically didn’t make it up. They are repeating the words from a Neo-Nazi group called Blood Tribe who were marching through Springfield with Swastika flags.

Could actually be worse than just making it up.

Source

[–] AstridWipenaugh 25 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Instead of being a dumbass that's a bit racist, he's a mouthpiece for Nazi propaganda. That's a whole lot worse than making it up.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

And entirely on brand

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

I've seen this repeated a few times and I don't think it really holds up. Drake Berentz (who gives his name as Nate Haggers because racists think that's funny) did not really mention anything about eating pets. The guy is a piece of shit and maybe they helped spread the initial post but that piece of shit's words at the council meeting are not the source. It really just seems to stem from the casually racist Karen on social media who is sad now that everything has blown up.

Although if Berentz (who is a carnie) is the one who made the fake 911 call back in late August about Haitians eating geese in the park, I am clearly wrong.

[–] ultranaut 5 points 2 months ago

I was reading about those Blood Tribe assholes, they are a Nazi gang that moved into the area about a year ago specifically to stir up hatred in the community.

[–] [email protected] 47 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Because only one of them is actively serving as a US Senator for Ohio, the state in which the supposed migrant pet eating crisis is taking place. The other doesn't have a job to resign from.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Ohhhhh, that makes sense. It would probably help if I read the article, but I hate giving these people clicks. I thought the headline was talking about resigning from running for VP.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago (1 children)

A conservative king can lie as he pleases it would seem, but apparently their VPs are expendable.

[–] dohpaz42 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

We already learned that in the aftermath of Jan 6th.

My question is why do these people continue lining up to serve said “king”?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Maybe that's why they ended up with Vance as the pick? A relative newcomer who'd risk getting sacrificed to become a more hosehold name? I can certainly imagine others looking on at the at end of Pence's tenure and choosing to avoid the position.

[–] dohpaz42 6 points 2 months ago

If anything, I’d imagine they picked Vance because he was willing and eager to do whatever it takes to win.

There were a number of other choices lined up too: https://nymag.com/intelligencer/article/trump-vp-pick-2024-candidates-odds.html