this post was submitted on 24 Dec 2023
581 points (98.7% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

27013 readers
5360 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 55 points 11 months ago (1 children)

You can only hope these were cleaned after their last use

[–] FinishingDutch 60 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Can these ever really be clean enough for you to knowingly touch one? Nah.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Especially that first one - I'm scared to think that someone can even accomodate that up there

[–] [email protected] 29 points 11 months ago (2 children)

The rectum can stretch a lot. So, yes, that can fit in a butthole.

And you can boil them if you wanna reuse them, they're usually just silicon, doesn't melt at 100C.

[–] Kase 13 points 11 months ago (2 children)

When I was a kid I had a friend who would go around saying you can fit a raccoon in your butthole. I've never forgotten it, but I've also never worked up the nerve to find out if that's true (for clarity, I mean via internet search, not via experimentation). It haunts me (⁠・⁠_⁠・⁠;⁠)

[–] Sigh_Bafanada 11 points 11 months ago
[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

Don't look for it, I can tell you that, in theory, yes it can (and I really do mean theory, I haven't googled for something like that as well 😂).

[–] FinishingDutch 17 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I’ve been on the internet since 1995. I know what can fit up there with the average human. But yeah, I don’t think that’s the one you start with.

[–] ObviouslyNotBanana 11 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (2 children)

Glass jar man is forever etched into memory

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Frozzie 51 points 11 months ago (6 children)

No way all beads on the far left fit in one orifice.

[–] ObviouslyNotBanana 58 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Oh I can assure you that some people fit far larger and longer things in there.

[–] Frozzie 33 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Really? I'm a visual learner, how about you show me 😁😳😳

[–] M137 21 points 11 months ago

There are many videos of people fitting way more than that. They're not hard to find.

[–] coffeebiscuit 10 points 11 months ago

😗🫥🫥🫥

[–] CrowAirbrush 4 points 11 months ago

I can send some videos if you like😅

[–] surewhynotlem 15 points 11 months ago

Well that's just selfish. They should learn to share

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

What size do you estimate they are? Tennis ball sized?

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] robocall 30 points 11 months ago (6 children)

Are you supposed to put all the beads in your butthole and pull them out fast? Or do you put one in and let the others dangle?

[–] RegalPotoo 71 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Like you are starting a lawnmower

[–] [email protected] 22 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I've seen them do that in porn. But you have to be already extremely relaxed for that.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Yes, and well lubed.

Enema not included in tutorial 😂.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I mean yeah, naturally. And with a good lube too. But people that do this are the ones already prepared for fisting or harder.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Footing 🤔? I've seen that, but, come on, that's just... not right IMO... it's at that point I'm like "OK, enough pr0n for today" 😂.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] ObviouslyNotBanana 3 points 11 months ago (5 children)
load more comments (5 replies)
[–] idunnololz 36 points 11 months ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 20 points 11 months ago

Obviously you do as you like but a common way is to put then in as far as you like / as it's comfortable and pull them out slowly.

[–] Xanthrax 15 points 11 months ago
[–] BreadOven 7 points 11 months ago

Let'er rip.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 26 points 11 months ago (3 children)

My dumbass me first tought this was some kind of gym aparatus.

[–] ObviouslyNotBanana 31 points 11 months ago

Yeah it's for the private gym

[–] supercriticalcheese 3 points 11 months ago

it's a training of sorts.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 25 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Reminds me of years ago of a team I played on. They turned out to be some collection type guys. Didn't realize at first. They were petty good to me and they were the first team I joined as I was pretty young then.

In the locker room before one of the games as we are getting ready, one of the guys pulls out of his hockey bag his lady's double dong and starts tossing it around the room like a hot potato. I'm not sure I want to know why it was in his hockey bag as those things can get pretty gross as it is.

I'll never forget that episode. It was never on the list of first ways to see as double dong in real life.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

One of the things that stays burned in you forever...

[–] CrowAirbrush 18 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I'm dissapointed by the lack of commitment, it seems the owner never made it past the second smallest one 🤣

[–] ObviouslyNotBanana 9 points 11 months ago (1 children)

That one definitely was the favorite

[–] SocialMediaRefugee 6 points 11 months ago

"The Goldilocks" effect. "This one is just right"

[–] SocialMediaRefugee 4 points 11 months ago

It is why they had to move...

[–] [email protected] 17 points 11 months ago (1 children)

They look like dog toys. Yeah, they're definitely dog toys

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago (2 children)

A new version of a Kong Connect?

[–] postmateDumbass 4 points 11 months ago

Peanut butter ready!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

O its connects allright XD

[–] ASeriesOfPoorChoices 15 points 11 months ago (1 children)

The old chocolate pretzel handshake.

(From Mall Rats, if you missed it)

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

Man, I never understood that joke until now 🤣🤣🤣... thank you so much!

[–] mechoman444 12 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Second one from the right looks a little worn.

[–] ObviouslyNotBanana 9 points 11 months ago

It's the favorite

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago

Surely not...

load more comments
view more: next ›