this post was submitted on 02 Jul 2023
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This is completely strange, and very long. I've exhausted all my ideas, and need fresh ones.

Some background.

  1. my neighbor is old, very very old. Also, they are not very mobile. So something like creeping up to the window and listening in is out of the question. Although, a very long time ago (decades) they did used to hang out near an air condition vent, listening to our in person conversations.
  2. when I say neighbor, I mean they live in a small house connected by a breezeway to my house. I do admit they are rather close. Yes I do have access to thier house.
  3. i have no real idea of thier level of technological expertise. They are pretty manipulative so even though I'm under the impression they're very limited on expertise, it's possible they know more than they let on. Let's just say at this point, they say they have difficulties placing calls to thier saved contacts on thier jitterbug flip phone, but when your not looking they're already on the line with someone, like five seconds after you walked out the door. As far as we know they do not have access to the internet, but who knows. They do know how to navigate to at least a limited number of websites though. (Slight fear of them seeing this post, haha)
  4. they digest far right media. This in itself doesnt seem relavent, but I suppose, in my head, this might be able to give them awareness of the types of technology that one might use to pull something like this off.
  5. It is remotely possible that someone could have installed something inside the house maybe about 15-20 years ago, and given the neighbor access to it.
  6. they are on a limited income, and are not independently wealthy. Any technology would have to be no only easy to use, but on the less expensive side as well.

So... Maybe about once a year for the past few years a topic or phrase that was talked about over the phone would come up in conversation the next day. Not a big deal, written off as coincidence. That's just how it goes sometimes. Well now, we've had a falling out. For the past few weeks they have brought up many private conversations I have had over my cell phone with at least 2 different people. They repeat not just what I say, but what the person on the other end of the phone says as well. I say, "Man, im pretty sure they're hearing my phone calls." The other person says, "Maybe there's a bug somewhere." The next day they start to prattle on about...a bug on the wall. But not a real bug...oh what do you call those things...you know, bugs that know things. Or I say "I'm worried about this escalating." The other person jokingly says "Oh, don't eat or drink anything from them, unless they take some first.. They may try to kill you." The next day neighbor is handing me a concoction they've made. "Oh, I've just sat down with this mixture I've created for my health. Everything I put in it is sitting on the counter there. (Cue various herbal supplements / tinctures) here have the first sip... it's not going to kill you." They are bringing up / creating situations centered around private converstaions from the night before. They may skip a day or two here and there, but it's a pretty regular occurrence.

Something worth mentioning, is that while im on the phone call, I will turn on my Bluetooth and use my earbuds. Everytime the buds connect, the call drops, and we have to call each other back. I figured I was pushing a button wrong or something and hanging up. But since the neighbor has gone somewhere, we have not been able to replicate the situation.

Things we have tried but have since been disproven:

  • At first we thought we were leaving windows open and they could just hear it...but all windows were closed.
  • maybe they can hear through the walls somehow, they are thin. But its never been a thing before. (why would they have to hang out by aforementioned vent, then) We blast the radio real loud and see how much we can hear from neighbors porch. Can't make out exact words and doesn't explain hearing the other person.
  • well thier radio automatically connects to iPhones ( un-updated iphone from the air drop debacle/ f-ed up feature of the radio involving nfc and bluetooth) and it did pair with my phone at some point. Maybe they can the other person over thier radio. But we tried to make it work and just cant replicate it.
  • we've checked obvious places for a walke talkie looking receiver. Nothing.
  • we've used one of those cheap bug detectors off Amazon and checked the house...and the vent. No wires comming out of strange places as far as we can tell.

I'm at my wits end. What could they be using and how can I stop it? It maybe all a coincidence, but then its as much so as Facebook / Google targeted ads that arent listening your conversations. I mean, what, are they an advanced algorithm that can guess what your thinking based on all available data on you?

Help! And thank you for taking the time. Also, sorry about the format / spelling getting all this out on mobile is tough.

TL:DR. My really old neighbor seems to hear my both sides of cell calls to at least 2 different people. Is there simple, rather cheap technology put there that they could be using. And how do i go about finding it / making it stop.

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[–] [email protected] 262 points 2 years ago (6 children)

I know this sounds obvious, and it’s an old meme from Reddit, but you REALLY need to check your home for carbon monoxide.

[–] penix 90 points 2 years ago (1 children)

The convergence of “man, some wild ass shit is happening to me I’m noticing” and “check your damn CO levels bro” posts continues.

[–] WhoRoger 43 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (3 children)

I thought we're making new lore on Lemmy, not continuing from Reddit.

Maybe OP just needs to not poop for 3 days.

[–] penix 24 points 2 years ago

If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of giant retards.

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[–] SaucyGoodness 37 points 2 years ago

Don't push this off, OP. Check this first. Immediately.

[–] Alex 36 points 2 years ago

Lmao that's exactly what I was thinking of while reading this.

[–] Jackolantern 23 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Oh man, why do you think that? Perhaps OP just hallucinated all this?

[–] [email protected] 59 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Yes, there was a famous thread on Reddit where somebody was experiencing lots of weird stuff, asked a question like this, and it turned out to be CO poisoning

[–] Jackolantern 20 points 2 years ago

Oh yeah now that you mentioned it. That’s scary huh.

[–] Setarkus 17 points 2 years ago (3 children)

Why's that? Anything post-related?

[–] [email protected] 36 points 2 years ago

Carbon monoxide poisoning can cause memory loss, allucinations and paranoia

[–] Sheik 32 points 2 years ago (1 children)

People hallucinating from carbone monoxide, hearing voices and stuff.

[–] IphtashuFitz 12 points 2 years ago (1 children)

As I recall he also said he was finding odd notes around the house that he had no recollection writing.

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[–] hangonasecond 24 points 2 years ago

Can cause hallucinations, paranoia, etc

[–] smokeythebear 12 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Wasn't that later revealed to be a hoax? It was during one of the major waves of legal advice trolls

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[–] [email protected] 94 points 2 years ago (6 children)

You mentioned a Bluetooth issue. Do they have a hearing aid that may be your phone is broadcasting to via Bluetooth by mistake?

[–] givesomefucks 48 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

There's an eldery, far right, technologically incapable guy at my office that takes any sleight as a person attack and tries to set "revenge" because he's also a rage addict.

He also has the Bluetooth hearing aid, and I can see that being something that gets shilled for on alt right news station/podcasts.

With OP saying they use Bluetooth and calls drop when trying when the neighbor is home....

That's probably what it is.

A cheap Bluetooth "hearing aid" that OP somehow accidentally authorized on their phone

[–] FarFarAway 20 points 2 years ago (2 children)

This is interesting because while they do have ear / hearing issues, they've never gotten hearing aids from a doctor, but it doesn't mean they never ordered them from some catalog, or whatever.

Like just because ive never seen them doesnt mean they dont exist. They maybe too proud to have them in while people are around, but might use them to watch TV or listen to the media.

I'll definitely check into this. Thank you.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (3 children)

Not an iPhone user, but I'd assume there's a way to view Bluetooth connections. In Android you just long press the Bluetooth icon in the system shade (where you set airplane mode and toggle WiFi etc.)

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[–] GalacticHero 12 points 2 years ago

If the neighbor is doing this intentionally, I’m pretty sure it violates some pretty serious wiretapping laws.

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[–] PerspectiveVortex 88 points 2 years ago

I’m certainly no expert, and maybe there’s a reason no one else has suggested this, but I think we need to consider if this is a paranoid delusion. Maybe speak to a doctor?

[–] [email protected] 82 points 2 years ago

Disable bluetooth on your phone, have a call and see if they react to it. If they do react, you can rule out bluetooth snitching on you.

[–] [email protected] 74 points 2 years ago (1 children)

My father had a really similar thing happen to him. First it was his stepmother and sisters, then my mother’s family, then the neighbor down the street with a wiener dog all spying on him constantly.

Turns out that they were getting directly into his brain from all the cocaine he was snorting.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 years ago

Damn that's wild. Brain worms hidden in cocaine. They're getting crafty

[–] [email protected] 72 points 2 years ago (2 children)

You can troubleshoot this through the process of elimination.

  1. Don't make any calls from home for a day or two. That'll tell you if it's something localized to your home/location or if it's specific to your phone/contract.
  2. Disable all extra technology like Bluetooth. That'll tell you if it's a Bluetooth or other connection. Ideally, turn off all extra connections beyond cellular. You could also try voice/video calls vs. phone data - I doubt this would matter, but it's always the last thing that you check.
  3. Break your house into a few different zones. If they comment on a conversation held it in one part of the home but not another, that'll give you an idea if it's location specific.

Probably not the most helpful tip, but how about taking this opportunity to learn another language?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Lol, do all of their friends and family need to take up the same language? Could you imagine everyone just takes up Vietnamese just because of this neighbor.

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[–] [email protected] 66 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Go by elimination, the first thing I would do is reset the phone and don't pair it to any bluetooth device. Also change the WiFi password and the router admin password with strong randomly generated passwords.

Then keep going as usual and see if something changes.

When you said you used a bug detector, was it a radio frequency analizer? Did you check while doing a phone call, a bug that is not transmitting wouldn't be detected.

Do the people you talk with or someone living with them know your neighbour? Maybe the leak is on the other end.

If the houses share an air conditioning system maybe try closing off the vents.

I know you are sure of your experiences but have you checked your physical and mental health? A few mental conditions could make coincidences turn into paranoia, but even a few simple physical conditions like carbon monoxide poisoning and maybe even vitamin deficiency could loosen your grip on reality . Has someone else witnessed first hand these events?

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[–] [email protected] 56 points 2 years ago (1 children)

My guesses, in this order:

  1. Confirmation bias
  2. Carbon monoxide or mental health issues on your side (I'm being serious, don't rule it out).
  3. Some low tech way (you're speaking very loudly, you somehow managed to broadcast to their Bluetooth speaker)

With a strong likelihood of it being 1, slightly less 2, unlikely 3 or anything else.

[–] dis_honestfamiliar 14 points 2 years ago

I'm gonna go with #2 very high likely chance. Also, they didn't mentione what they think that, and I wouldn't be surprised if the other person tells your neighbor about the conversations. Meaning you think your conversations are one to one, but maybe the other party shares with your neighbor.

[–] iByteABit 50 points 2 years ago

Like others have said I think you should seriously consider checking your mental health with a psychiatrist.

I'm sorry if it's not the case, but you shouldn't risk it if it is, I've seen cases like this and it's really sad to witness. It only goes downhill from there if left untreated..

[–] [email protected] 38 points 2 years ago

It could much simpler than all the Bluetooth answers here. Do you just talk really loudly on the phone? I can only hear my neighbour when she’s talking on the phone, but not directly to her husband.

[–] NosyRock 36 points 2 years ago (3 children)

I think I would jump to the Bluetooth being the culprit, especially how you say it drops out

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[–] [email protected] 32 points 2 years ago (10 children)

Kinda Sounds like they got ahold of a stingray device. Probably a pretty weak one, but it would explain everything. Bluetooth is also radio so having that connection active could be causing some interference in a weaker consumer level stingray device. Also, get a CO2 detector.

[–] teft 30 points 2 years ago

Why CO2? Your body is a natural CO2 (carbon dioxide) detector. Go huff on a newly opened soda bottle and you'll see what I mean. I think you want people to get a CO (carbon monoxide) detector since humans can't detect CO.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Carbon monoxide/CO2 combo detector

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[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA 25 points 2 years ago

Sorry if this posted a million times jerboa said network error but turn off your bluetooth. Some hearing aids connect via Bluetooth.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 years ago

Do they have a hearing aid, or one of those hearing enhancers?

That would be my guess. Cheap Bluetooth devices are creepy, I have a $2 pair of ear pods from Ali and it somehow automatically connected to my wife's iPhone the other night and I was able to pause and even change the music she was sleeping to. That all happened by accident (she was not happy), so I totally could see that happening.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 years ago (5 children)

You didn't specify what phone technology you use. If the signal leaves the house in an old fashioned way, crosstalk could be the cause. I'm nearly sure this is impossible for digital communication (cellphone, voice over IP). It might be an explanation if you and your neighbor still use copper cable phones.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 years ago

Please OP keep us updated, I’m invested in this story now!

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA 15 points 2 years ago

Some hearing aids are bluetooth. Stop using your bluetooth for a bit and see

[–] jerrimu 15 points 2 years ago (1 children)

They may have some srt of hearing aid. Also, nothing you posted proves they heard your call, it could simply be coincidence.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 years ago

On modern smart phones ther are some accessibility settings for hearing aid connection that iirc connects automatically to hearing aids that support the feature. It's not always using Bluetooth. The non Bluetooth variants are pretty low range I think but Bluetooth is also used for the same features. Go to you phone settings and see if you accidentally enabled something like "hearing enhance" "hearing aid enhance" etc.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 years ago

Confirmation bias?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 years ago

Possibly they have a directional microphone. This may seem like high-tech, but it's been around forever, predating cellphones. So someone could have bought it from Radio Shack and learned to use it when they were younger. So if you're talking loudly, and they have a microphone, they can pick it up. Any idea of their former career?

I don't buy the CO idea. CO is more likely to cause headaches, nausea, and skin flushing. And everyone in the house would be showing symptoms too.

[–] AttackBunny 12 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I’m going to agree with everyone else, and say check Bluetooth connection and yeah maybe even carbon monoxide BUT you say the house and their place are connected by a breezeway. It’s entirely possible that they can just hear you talking. Sound travels in really odd ways sometimes, and people talk louder than they think. Is there another room, on the opposite end of the house, that you can make calls from, to see if it helps?

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