this post was submitted on 15 Nov 2023
754 points (96.4% liked)

Programmer Humor

19623 readers
55 users here now

Welcome to Programmer Humor!

This is a place where you can post jokes, memes, humor, etc. related to programming!

For sharing awful code theres also Programming Horror.

Rules

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 137 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (10 children)

my website's backend is made with bash, it calls make for every request and it probably has hundreds of remote arbitrary code execution bugs that will get me pwned someday, it's great

edit: to clarify, it uses a rust program i made to expose the bash scripts as http endpoints, i'm not crazy enough to implement http in bash

it behaves like a static file server, but if a file has the others-execute permission bit set it executes the file instead of reading it

it's surprisingly nice for prototyping since you can just write a cli program and it's automatically available over http too

[–] camr_on 82 points 1 year ago

For my own sanity, I choose to believe you're lying

[–] [email protected] 70 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] agent_flounder 51 points 1 year ago

These wounds appear to be self-inflicted.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

i thought it was neat how php lets you write your website's logic with the same directory tree pattern that clients consume it from, but i didn't want to learn php so i made my own, worse version

[–] technojamin 8 points 1 year ago

That’s a pretty reasonable reaction to the proposition of learning PHP.

[–] Fashim 61 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I pity the hacker who ends up in your system

[–] [email protected] 50 points 1 year ago

You live like this?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I've taken some precautions, it's running in a container as an unprivileged user and the only writable mount is the directory where make writes rendered pages, but i probably should move it into a vm if i want to be completely safe lol

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Maybe I'll finally move it into a VM so I can send a link to it here without tempting people :P

[–] [email protected] 48 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I designed a chip architecture that runs bash code on silicon.

I reimplemented x86 assembly in purely bash script.

[–] SpaceNoodle 35 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 year ago

Set -e, please for the love of god, set -e

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

lord forgive me for I have sinned.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 112 points 1 year ago (7 children)

Before nginx was a thing, I worked with a guy who forked apache httpd and wrote this blog in C, like, literally embedded html and css inside the server, so when he made a tpyo or was adding another post he had to recompile the source code. The performance was out of this world.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

There are a lot of solutions like that in rust. You basically compile the template into your code.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

yeah, templates can be parsed at compile time but these frameworks are not embeeding whole fucking prerendered static pages/assets

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

They are nowadays. Compiling assets and static data into rust and deliver virtual DOM via websocket to the browser is the new cool kid in the corner.

Have a look at dioxus

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] PieMePlenty 14 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Does a file lookup really take that long? Id say the trick was to have just plain old html with no bloat and you're golden.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Blog content was stored in memory and it was served with zero-copy to the socket, so yea, it's way faster. It was before times of php-fpm and opcache that we're using now. Back then things were deployed and communicated using tcp sockets (tcp to rails, django or php) or reading from a disk, when the best HDDs were 5600rpm, but rare to find on shared hosting.

[–] THE_STORM_BLADE 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Couldn't the html be loaded into memory at the beginning of the program and then served whenever? I understand the reading from disk will be slow, but that only happens once in the beginning.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] MeanEYE 8 points 1 year ago

The answer is no. The more file is used the longer it sits in kernel filesystem cache. Getting file from cache versus having it in process memory is few function calls away all of which takes few microseconds. Which is negligible in comparison to network latency and other small issues that might be present in the code.

On few of our services we decided to store client configuration in JSON files on purpose instead of running with some sort of database storage. Accessing config is insanely fast and kernel makes sure that file is cached so when reading the file you always get fast and latest version. That service is currently handling around 100k requests a day, but we've had peaks in past that went up to almost a million requests a day.

Besides when it comes to human interaction and web sites you only need to get first contentful paint within one second. Anything above 1.5s will feel sluggish, but below 1s, it feels instant. That gives you on average around 800ms to send data back. Plenty of time unless you have a dependency nightmare and parse everything all the time.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago

This reminds me of one of my older projects. I wanted to learn more about network communications, so I started working on a simple P2P chat app. It wasn't anything fancy, but I really enjoyed working on it. One challenge I faced was that, at the time, I didn't know how to listen for user input while handling network communication simultaneously. So, after I had managed to get multiple TCP sockets working on one thread, I thought, why not open another socket for HTTP communication? That way, I could incorporate a fancy web UI instead of just a CLI interface.

So, I wrote a simple HTTP server, which, in hindsight, might not have been necessary.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (3 children)
load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] fireflash38 76 points 1 year ago (2 children)

What if, get this, we put the bash scripts in yaml. And then put it in kubernetes.

[–] [email protected] 56 points 1 year ago (1 children)

well now you’re just describing ansible

[–] Vash63 11 points 1 year ago

Very, very bad Ansible.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Have you considered embedding python in those bash scripts? I have done this, and it is glorious.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I wrote my webserver in pure bash.

bash -c "python -m http.server 8080"

[–] MeanEYE 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Did you know you can zip entire Python project into single file and make it executable? Quite a neat feature. Shove all dependencies, modules and assets in there and voila. Single file python application.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 63 points 1 year ago (2 children)

This is false, you also need vim and tmux

[–] [email protected] 37 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Idk about you but I use echo and sed to edit my files.

[–] clearleaf 68 points 1 year ago

Let's just get this out of the way

[–] Telodzrum 16 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Microsoft Word is the only text editor I need.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] FauxPseudo 30 points 1 year ago (4 children)

I'm currently trying to relearn all my advanced bash in python.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

i already learned how to use my operating system, now you're telling me I have to learn 30 new libraries that do the exact same shit?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

no, you'll also have to learns each libraries special quirks on your OS

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] MeanEYE 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I feel like this with Python these days.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Just don't call it with #!/bin/sh. Because that's POSIX shell, not bash.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (6 children)

but effectively it's bash, I think /bin/sh is a symlink to bash on every system I know of...

Edit: I feel corrected, thanks for the information, all the systems I used, had a symlink to bash. Also it was not intended to recommend using bash functionality when having a shebang !#/bin/sh. As someone other pointed out, recommendation would be #!/usr/bin/env bash, or !#/bin/sh if you know that you're not using bash specific functionality.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (4 children)

Still don't do this. If you use bash specific syntax with this head, that's a bashism and causes issues with people using zsh for example. Or with Debian/*buntu, who use dash as init shell.

Just use #!/bin/bash or #!/usr/bin/env bash if you're funny.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (6 children)

#!/bin/bash doesn't work on NixOS since bash is in the nix store somewhere, #!/usr/bin/env bash resolves the correct location regardless of where bash is

load more comments (6 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago

No no no no no, do not believe this you will shoot yourself in the foot.

https://wiki.debian.org/Shell

Beginning with DebianSqueeze, Debian uses Dash as the target of the /bin/sh symlink. Dash lacks many of the features one would expect in an interactive shell, making it faster and more memory efficient than Bash.

From DebianSqueeze to DebianBullseye, it was possible to select bash as the target of the /bin/sh symlink (by running dpkg-reconfigure dash). As of DebianBookworm, this is no longer supported.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

It is a symlink, but bash will automatically enable posix compliance mode if you use it. So any bash specific features will bomb out unless you explicitly reset it in the script.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

All you need are Bash scripts with chroot and cgroups and some ssh access.

[–] SpaceNoodle 9 points 1 year ago

Never sed when you can bash.

load more comments
view more: next ›