Asklemmy

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You end up with a genie begging you to make a wish every waking moment of your life, ala "three thousand years of longing"

Genies are not considered humans and thus cannot enter into a legal agreement. Courts find your contract null and void and the Genie still gets always with screwing up your wish.

I don’t know why people wish for money rather than immortality. Compounding interests baby!

“In the way that I hope for, and in the way that I expect” should cover it, I think

A genie emerges that's even better at cursing your whish

A genie emerges from the lamp, and promises to try to curse you less

Granted. You’re now a masochist.

Granted. But you didn't wish anything for yourself so nothing happens to you or for you. The next person to meet the genie enjoys the outcome of their wish.

Considering the high probability the djinn has spent centuries locked inside a small vessel, completely alone, the chances roll towards harboring sadistic wishes of revenge.

Thanks for the paradox bub.

The genie is now free to curse you and others without bothering with the wishing part - and does. Constantly.

C'mon Muldur, you can wish for anything

Teen suicide rate multiplies after the police destroy youth culture with constant surveillance.

I see at least three catches here, and all of them taken from the basic guide

• Good doesn't mean "humane".

• Lawful doesn't mean "thoughtful".

A demon that follows an moral code of conduct that is immoral by our standards is still canonically lawlful good by theirs. The nature of a fervorous Paladin is a matter of perspective.

• Lawful nor Good mean "non-violent".

I don't need to explain this part. A Paladin is... Sometimes less a matter of perspective.

As an example, in the Movie Rabbit Proof Fence, the villain is a British Guy who falls, by his perspective, Lawfully Good. For reference, the movie starts with him doing a presentation on Eugenics and how he can save the "aboriginal people" through race mixing. Him mandating the two girls kidnapped from their village was entirely lawful. He really thinks he's doing good and he does not at any point play dirty with those close to him to get what he wants. His biggest issue was being born in the wrong place, at the wrong time with the wrong people, with the wrong amount of scrupulosity.

I don't know how, but you probably did more damage here than even some other more aggressive responses. I think you just indirectly turned every government inherently authoritarian, albeit with society still functional. Because the lawmakers everywhere will catch on to how the cops function, and any semblance of progressive thought would soon stop developing.

Granted. You get nothing. The alternate version of you was kind enough to wish for someone else's health and happiness, and wanted nothing for themself. Also, your curse is to know with certainty that not only are you not this superior version of yourself, but you've proven by your inherently selfish wish that you will never be that person.

Granted. You didn't specify where, so it exists somewhere within the universe.

You get a different genie who doesn't grant any wishes.