this post was submitted on 27 Oct 2023
200 points (95.0% liked)

Greentext

4470 readers
1967 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
[email protected]
200
Anon goes to a bar (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
22 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 
all 23 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] MrJameGumb 62 points 1 year ago (3 children)

be me

Heading out for a night on the town to court some ladies!

I donned my finest XXXL Dragon Ball Z Hawaiian shirt and my cleanest pair of cargo shorts and prepared to go a-wooing!

I wander into the local discothèque and find a good spot in a corner where I can hold court with some erudite women!

I start winking and beckoning to every potential waifu who walks by, but to no avail! I even tried shouting at them from across the room! Do they not realize that I'm wearing my lucky socks????

After about 20 minutes the bouncer tells me I have to leave, because people are complaining about the smell. Apparently my viril musk was overstimulating some of the patrons...

Disgusted, I wander home. It's just as well, with so many damned lesbians evehwhere what hope does a gentlesir have of finding true love?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] Rooty 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Unironically a gigachad

Eloquently critiques society

Refuses to be a cog in a machine

Has a unique style of dress, does not bow to whims of fashion

Is fawned over by a woman who travels across the continent to be with him, he considers her trifling and base.

Is acutely aware of his health, up to the point of recording it in his diary

[–] MrJameGumb 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I love that book lol

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I was told it was this great comedic masterpiece, one huge clockwork of a joke...it's 400 pages of second-hand embarrassment. I gave up about 2/3rds of the way through.

[–] MrJameGumb 1 points 1 year ago

Maybe I enjoyed it more because I've known a few people like the main character in real life lol

[–] hswolf 6 points 1 year ago

what a terrible day to be literate

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Need to be more out going than that...

Start conversations, buy drinks to people, as a good gesture if conversion is going well.

Joining in on events as well...

Awesome attempt though, not easy to admit!

[–] Thteven 17 points 1 year ago (2 children)

This is a green text so you have to realize that the people you're telling to socialize and have normal conversations with people are 4chan users. I admire your optimism though.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I think most people get to stuck in their minds, instead of just saying "fuck it" and trying to be a bit of an extrovert!

If they went out to a bar then they are not lost sheep, they have many chances to meet people, just need effort.

Yes, green text, hahahah

Thank you for the reply!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

trying to be a bit of an extrovert!

are you an introvert yourself?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Aren't we all?

On the interweb forums, hahaha

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Yeah but a lot of them are like 15 and can still grow out of it like the rest of us.

[–] Pharmacokinetics 12 points 1 year ago

You can't make friends without initiative. People would assume that you want to be left alone or won't care about you at all. You need to talk to people. Listen to the conversation that is going on and chip in without being disruptive, and if they dont want your company, respectfully leave.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

That was me coming back to France after being used to pubs in Ireland. Took a while to accept you can't really chat with strangers in French pubs the same way you can in Ireland.

Ended up going to Couchsurfing meetups, boardgames nights, etc.

It takes time and efforts but you can make it Anon!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

OP needs to play darts or pool. Or Naked Photo Hunt.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Or sit at the bar instead of a corner.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Or, hear me out.

Get a social hobby other than drinking. One that specifically encourages groups to mix.

[–] WhiteOakBayou 6 points 1 year ago

Agreed, I like bars quite a bit but social hobbies are where it's at.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Tell me. Help me, please.

[–] morphballganon 6 points 1 year ago

Karaoke bruh

[–] Blaster_M 3 points 1 year ago

The Destroyers plays on the radio as anon enters the bar