Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

Anon is often crazy.
Anon is often depressed.
Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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Anon goes to a bar (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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[–] MrJameGumb 62 points 1 year ago (3 children)

be me

Heading out for a night on the town to court some ladies!

I donned my finest XXXL Dragon Ball Z Hawaiian shirt and my cleanest pair of cargo shorts and prepared to go a-wooing!

I wander into the local discothèque and find a good spot in a corner where I can hold court with some erudite women!

I start winking and beckoning to every potential waifu who walks by, but to no avail! I even tried shouting at them from across the room! Do they not realize that I'm wearing my lucky socks????

After about 20 minutes the bouncer tells me I have to leave, because people are complaining about the smell. Apparently my viril musk was overstimulating some of the patrons...

Disgusted, I wander home. It's just as well, with so many damned lesbians evehwhere what hope does a gentlesir have of finding true love?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Shades of Ignatius J. Reilly

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Confederacy_of_Dunces

[–] Rooty 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Unironically a gigachad

Eloquently critiques society

Refuses to be a cog in a machine

Has a unique style of dress, does not bow to whims of fashion

Is fawned over by a woman who travels across the continent to be with him, he considers her trifling and base.

Is acutely aware of his health, up to the point of recording it in his diary

[–] MrJameGumb 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I love that book lol

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I was told it was this great comedic masterpiece, one huge clockwork of a joke...it's 400 pages of second-hand embarrassment. I gave up about 2/3rds of the way through.

[–] MrJameGumb 1 points 1 year ago

Maybe I enjoyed it more because I've known a few people like the main character in real life lol

[–] hswolf 6 points 1 year ago

what a terrible day to be literate