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Impossible. That perfect partner could turn darkside on you years into marriage.

Most people who marry think they found the perfect partner, but the divorce rates say otherwise.

Back in grandma's day (in the US at least) women were financially trapped in their marriages by a system that wouldn't allow them to get credit cards or open bank accounts without their husband's permission, even if they worked. Having a small stash allows a person to choose to be in a marriage, not be forced.

It's outdated advice but it comes from a good place.

A neat detail here is that there's no rule here that the account needs to be literally secret. You can tell your spouse you have a private account and you'll put a couple hundred in out of your paycheck. A spouse in a healthy relationship should reply "sure, I'll do the same." It's nice to have for holidays and secret presents too.

Oddly/interestingly, the concept of a dowry in Islam is to ensure the wife has access to some sort of funding in case the marriage ends

It doesn't even need to be a secret account, def see it being a hella good litmus test, too; check whether someone's "I love you" means "no matter what, right now I want the best for you" or "I want to own you"

guys like that are... just no

My grandfather had an account he never told my grandmother about, then he got dementia and couldn't remember he had the account, years later after he died we found out about it, and we found out that he'd invested in a lot of successful companies over the decades, and had made a substantial amount of money.

If my grandmother had known about the account he would have had vastly better care than we were actually able to afford.

I also think it's rather ironic that he would have had a better life if he had just been a bit more open with his finances.

Growing up they always had crap cars they were always falling apart and Mr Frugal was sitting on a life-changing amount of money.

In the context of modern times, women are six times more likely to be abandoned by their spouse after receiving a devastating medical diagnosis like cancer than men are.

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/11/091110105401.htm#:~:text=A%20woman%20is%20six%20times,longer%20the%20marriage%20the%20more

It's not about having your own account, it's about hiding it.

None of the personal accounts in your family sound hidden (unless you don't know about them 😂).

Divorce doesn’t protect your personal bank account. That money doesn’t suddenly becomes yours. When splitting assets, personal accounts and even safety deposit boxes are included (unless a prenup arrangement).

And the “secret” part is the problem. Seems to me grandma isn't advising her to have a personal bank account like everyone; she wants her to have a bank account the husband doesn’t know about. There’s a difference.

The comments here are objecting to the secrecy, not the account.

The comments I've seen only say not to keep it a secret. I agree everyone should have a personal bank account and I would assume my partner has one

The wise way is to tell your partner Grandma says it's important to have separate bank accounts, as my MIL said to me, and my husband agreed. We have had them for 30 years together. Sometimes it's been handy that one side has a better credit rating at that moment.

But if your partner objects, or tries to sabotage it in any way, that's a huge red flag for gaslighting and abuse. So it's time to make that secret account and start taking steps to escape safely. Granny may well have already seen the signs you're too in love to see.