this post was submitted on 11 Oct 2023
289 points (94.7% liked)

Not The Onion

12177 readers
950 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
all 35 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Chainweasel 132 points 1 year ago (7 children)

Yeah that's bullshit. I live in a very very Amish area and I'm one of the minority who aren't Amish. Most of what people think about them is bullshit. So to hammer a few rumors out:
Electricity is a tool, and you're allowed to have tools in the barn, but not in the house.
A home phone/cell phone is a tool, it can be in the barn but not the house.
A car is a tool, but a photograph is vain. You can own a car but someone who isn't Amish has to drive it.

They all have cell phones, debit cards, vans, refrigerators, etc. They're just super picky about what gets to come inside the house

[–] [email protected] 74 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I also have friends in Amish and Mennonite communities in southern and northern Ontario.

Each community and group is unique to every other. Some are strict Orthodox and some relax the rules .... and some are so normal looking and acting that you wouldn't know they were Amish or Mennonite unless they told you.

My favorite are the thuggy Mennonites in southern Ontario. They drive around in brand new all black decked out SUVs (minus the chrome because you to show some humility), wear super clean black brimmed hats, sharp clothes and beautiful black leather jackets. Famously a few of them were caught smuggling coke and other drugs from Mexico.

They may have the fear of God in their hearts ... but they're just as greedy and worldly as any of us.

[–] Saraphim 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I’m in Ontario. I’ve never heard the term “thuggy Mennonite” but it’s fucking perfect.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

We saw some thuggy Mennonites in the northern corner of PA this summer. Super nicely pressed shirts and suspended pants.

Most of them appeared to be looking down toward my scruffy family (who had just rolled out of a campsite and just wanted breakfast).

[–] ericisshort 13 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Now I want a gritty antihero drama series about the thuggy Mennonite’s of Ontario. I’m thinking a modern day Canadian Peaky Blinders kinda thing.

[–] DiomedesJimmu 2 points 1 year ago

I've never seen it, so I don't know if it's good. But there is this

https://m.imdb.com/title/tt6257298/

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

"Banshee" comes to mind. Not exactly that description but certainly has the Amish crime angle.

[–] Fondots 7 points 1 year ago

Each community and group is unique

I recently looked into one of my local Mennonite churches, and it turns out that that particular church is probably actually one of the coolest, most liberal churches around, super LGBTQ friendly, lots of cool community outreach, etc.

Probably not representative of Mennonite churches in general mind you, but definitely shows the sort of diversity there can be there.

[–] [email protected] 50 points 1 year ago (1 children)

At that point I would just live in the barn.

[–] Chainweasel 27 points 1 year ago

That's Mennonite

[–] HardlightCereal 22 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Beds are a tool for sleeping, candles are a tool for seeing, pots are a tool for cooking, spoons are a tool for eating, books are a tool for learning, needles are a tool for sewing. Are those allowed inside the house?

[–] Chainweasel 59 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The thing about religion is that it doesn't need to make sense.

[–] HardlightCereal 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Yes it does. "Sense" isn't an objective trait, it's something an observer creates by observing, All beliefs make sense to the people who believe in them. They don't have to make sense to everyone, but they do have to make sense to their followers. I'm sure amish people have some answer to what I just said that makes sense to them.

That said, like all homophobes, their reasonings are often shallow and contradictory.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Houses are a tool to make the environment more comfortable......

[–] v81 8 points 1 year ago

Better build the house in a barn then.

That will solve everything!

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago

Are you saying that people have preconceived stereotypical notions of groups of people they aren't part of? I won't hear any of this nonsense!

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago

You can own a car but someone who isn't Amish has to drive it.

What if they're in the barn?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (2 children)

If it's a tool and being used for a clear purpose why can't the driver be Amish?

[–] Chainweasel 25 points 1 year ago (1 children)

They can't have their picture taken for the license

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (2 children)

It's that really the case? That's absurd. nobody looks like their license photo so I'm surprised the state doesn't provide an exemption.

[–] Chainweasel 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

It depends on the sect, but yeah for the most part it is. Once they cross that line it's Mennonite. but there are some sects, like the Swartzentroubers, that are very old order and don't even wear shoes. But for the most part they won't. Even the dolls at Amish stores don't have faces. And they may make exemptions for hijabs but there still has to be a photo and they just outright refuse for the most part, except for during rumspringe

[–] beefcat 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

not having a picture on your id would defeat the purpose of your id.

making an exemption would create a loophole more nefarious actors could easily exploit. no sane dmv is going to get away with instituting religious purity tests to make sure everyone who says they are amish is actually amish.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

If it's a tool and is being used for a clear purpose, why are the Amish in their house and not the barn?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That's really interesting, didn't know any of that. A little tongue in cheek here but... With all that in there at what point is your barn just your house in all but name?

[–] Chainweasel 12 points 1 year ago

You're not wrong! I used to work in an Amish shop and my boss and his wife really stretched it lol.
She would use an extension cord to use a vacuum in the house, because it's a tool, and They had freezers in the barn.
In some communities they have a community warehouse full of chest freezers to keep meat and veggies through the summer. They can still get block ice for their ice boxes in their homes from town (I did that as job when I was a teen) but in reality it just depends on which community you're part of, but for the most part as long as you don't have power inside the house it's kosher.
But... There's an increasing number of communities that allow for solar power if it's only used for things like heat, light, and other utilities. Just nothing like TV, radio, or Internet devices.

[–] HardlightCereal 46 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Fuck the amish. Misogynists and homophobes, 99% of them.

[–] Huxleywaswrite 27 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Don't forget abusive to animals

[–] HardlightCereal 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] Emerald 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

That doesn't seem any worse then non-Amish animal cruelty

[–] Ryan213 21 points 1 year ago

Is this both sad and funny? Or just one of them? Lol

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The real shunning was not turning off emergency alerts, or having phones turned off when you don’t need then.

But blaming Amish for being tech illiterate is like blaming a baby, so funny and sad it is.

[–] HardlightCereal 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Eh, half the reason Amish hate phones is that they'll infect the community with newfangled ideas like respecting women and gay marriage, so I feel very comfortable laughing at them for their willful ignorance.

[–] I_Fart_Glitter 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] HardlightCereal 4 points 1 year ago

The title says it's about child sexual abuse, but the transcript only shows discussion of abuse of women. Why is that?