this post was submitted on 09 Oct 2023
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Autism

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[–] Gradually_Adjusting 129 points 8 months ago (4 children)

Adopting is great. Not everyone should do it.

Autism is difficult. Their lives are not ruined.

I can see some of the arguments of antinatalists but the online culture of it seems to have a nihilism/blackpill problem.

[–] [email protected] 74 points 8 months ago (17 children)

It's autism, not a death sentence.

To me, it seems like online discussions for any stance, has to turn to it's most extreme. It's like their way or highway type of deal. Whatever happened to nuanced discussion, I wonder.

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[–] FlyingSquid 89 points 8 months ago (7 children)

Why do they think autism is some sort of horror story where kids suffer in agony or something?

[–] [email protected] 81 points 8 months ago (6 children)

Autism Speaks played a huuuge part in making that the dominant narrative about autism for the past 20 years or so.

In the 00s (maybe early 10s?) one of the videos they made for parents of newly diagnosed children had a parent talking about how she was considering driving off a bridge to kill herself and her autistic child, but didn't because her non-autistic child was also in the car. This was presented as totally normal and just a way to prepare for how an autistic child will ruin your life.

[–] FlyingSquid 47 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Autism Speaks is disgusting. What an awful organization. I wish more people knew that.

[–] glimse 17 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I didn't know until I saw it getting trashed on the autism subreddit and asked why... So keep getting the word out!

[–] FlyingSquid 15 points 8 months ago

I will. I don't have ASD but several of my loved ones do and I'm glad Autism Speaks hasn't gotten to them and made them ashamed of who they are.

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 8 months ago (4 children)

Suicide is one of the top three causes of death for autistic people. The other two are heart disease and epilepsy complications, and on average we die under 50 years of age.

[–] [email protected] 41 points 8 months ago

What they don't understand though is that the suicide part isn't caused by autism. It's caused by people being horrible to each other. Or in other words: people with autism die because people without it make living hell for them.

[–] FlyingSquid 35 points 8 months ago (30 children)

Yes, but that's not due to autism, that's due to the way society treats autistic people.

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[–] [email protected] 75 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (5 children)

Taking a quick look at the comments I see we're back to 2000s autism speaks bullshit.

Autistic people aren't suffering unless you're putting them in a system that treats them as subhuman.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Autistic people aren't suffering unless you're putting them in a system that treats them as subhuman.

Ah, I see you're familiar with society as well.

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[–] ilikekeyboards 16 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Well well well, just look at any job and watch how people are treated.

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[–] [email protected] 67 points 8 months ago (25 children)

I'm not speaking for autistic people here, but I am speaking as parent to two children (now adults) on the spectrum.

Autistic children do not ruin your life and do not have ruined lives themselves. As with all parenting, sometimes things are very, very difficult and sometimes things are very, very easy. This isn't unique to raising a neurodiverse child, this is just parenting. The unique challenges that parenting a neurodiverse child brings are 99% of the time caused by how society thinks these children/adults are and assumptions about whats best for them without actually asking them rather than any sort of intrinsic issue caused by their autism or ADHD or any other neurological difference. For the remaining 1% of the time, you just do your best.

The narrative that neurological difference, in particular autism, ruins lives has, in its modern form, been with us since Andrew Wakefield first perpetuated his fraudulent claims of vaccine damage causing autism. It was spread by antivaxx/autism activist parent groups like Jenny McCarthy's Generation Rescue and the truly despicable people at Autism Speaks. These are the people who've ruined lives.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 8 months ago

I like you. I have 2 autistic kids (still kids) and one neurotypical kid. There is no difference in raising them. Every kid has their unique challenges. I never raise my children differently unless it requires it.

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[–] xX_fnord_Xx 43 points 8 months ago

An autistic life isn't a ruined life.

[–] [email protected] 43 points 8 months ago (7 children)

just popping in to say I love being alive and I'm thankful for my parents keeping me! I made friends with a seagull today. couldn't have done that if I was never born. fuck yeah!

[–] [email protected] 18 points 8 months ago (4 children)

I honestly can't tell if this is sarcasm.

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[–] [email protected] 41 points 8 months ago (1 children)

ITT: people advocating eugenics on themselves. I hate it. I hate seeing it. And stuff like this is psychologically destructive to read for me.

If people here don't like others with similar traits to them advocating that their life and perspective is not valuable and that they should hate it and wish no-one new experience it, I recommend avoiding this thread - even moreso if you have suicidal tendencies. It was very upsetting for me ;-;, even though I personally have no intent to have kids.

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[–] [email protected] 37 points 8 months ago (2 children)

I went 36 years without even knowing. Corporate greed has done more to ruin my life than my mental illnesses have.

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[–] [email protected] 34 points 8 months ago

As someone on the spectrum its ridiculous to say there life ruined first off its a spectrum so who knows how server there condition is and they can learn to live with help

[–] Zehzin 32 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (14 children)

"Now you have ruined three lives forever"

bruh

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[–] [email protected] 31 points 8 months ago (8 children)

The people that want to restrict reproduction are acting like eugenicists? I'm shocked. This is my shocked face.

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[–] RoyaltyInTraining 28 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Why is this subreddit full of idiots? They are misrepresenting antinatalism so fucking hard.

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[–] [email protected] 28 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (10 children)

Antinatalism is a more deranged branch of eugenics. It's not simply "promoting eugenics" it's a belief that giving birth is the greatest evil one can inflict upon a child and the world at large.

That they'd clearly see us as subhuman isn't surprising given that they at best want our entire species to voluntarily go extinct. Their entire worldview is best summed up as gentle genocide is good.

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[–] [email protected] 27 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I think antinatalism is a really interesting philosophy. But it falls apart as soon as you discriminate - It is fair to question the ethics of reproduction, but as soon as you discriminate you end up in eugenics territory. This subreddit is really hostile sadly. there is a lot of ableism under the disguise of antinatalism

[–] [email protected] 17 points 8 months ago

True antinatalism would say everyone should not have kids, regardless of anything. Of course nobody is enforcing this so it's a kinda do whatever but maybe think twice before having kids.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 8 months ago (10 children)

The antinatalism subreddit (and similar groups elsewhere) is one of the most toxic places on the internet. It just reeks of hatred, and worse yet, treats that hatred as some sort of virtue.

Go live your life however you want, kids or no. But grouping up to talk shit about children or people who start families is just gross.

[–] Saltblue 15 points 8 months ago

They can't, they have to tell the world how better they are because they didn't finish inside.

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[–] force 25 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (15 children)

I don't have ASD but I have ADHD, and based on my experience I think it's extremely fair to see knowingly inflicting upon another living being a disability that causes great pain and suffering throughout their entire life, as fucked up and immoral

It's like pugs and pitbulls, many people can agree in the thought "why are we intentionally creating more canines with terrible disabilities which badly hurt them for the rest of their life?", so why is it so bad when the same logic is applied to humans?

I think it's dumb to describe it as "eugenics", considering that's a term almost entirely associated in the modern day with Nazism, forced imprisonment/torture/forced sterilization of certain groups, and racist beliefs. Wheras this seems concerned with wanting people to not suffer nearly as much after they're born, so they're expressing how they're upset that people chose to create a new life with more suffering than average when there's tons of equally good alternatives, and I think that's pretty different than flat out promoting genocide...

What's wrong with adoption anyways? It's pretty selfish to bring a new life into this world for your own personal satisfaction when you could literally just take a child who's already out there suffering and make them not suffer for no extra loss.

I find it stupid that they describe it as "ruined lives" though. Especially for the parents, like wtf just be a good parent? It's not like most parents have a kid with no difficult challenges to face whatsoever. When you become a parent you sign up to being exposed to any and every possibility that could come from a kid. If you become a parent and then go "woe is me, I didn't expect autism so I can't deal with this, don't blame me for not parenting correctly" then you shouldn't have become a parent. The only way parents can "ruin" their own lives is if they're a shitty parent, which unfortunately a majority of people are...

[–] [email protected] 32 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

disability that causes great pain and suffering throughout their entire life

Motherfucker what are you talking about? I am literally just here to vibe, it's the fault of the current system for refusing to support any kind of variety. Autism isn't fucking osteoporosis, I'm not in pain, I'm just fucking different.

Autistic people aren't suffering unless you're putting them in a system which refuses to treat them as anything other than subhuman.

[–] force 24 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (5 children)

Remind me when we're not going to be in a system which refuses to treat disabled people properly? We live in a world built against disabled people. That is NOT going to change soon. We are corporatist and in most of the first world the right-wing is on the rise. Look at Italy, look at most of western Europe actually. Look how much attention people like DeSantis got before blowing it, and how popular it is to hate on groups like disabled more than it has ever been in recent years – shit it only getting worse. Why bring an innocent kid into that?

Besides, neurodevolopmental disorders in many people can objectively just inflict suffering completely detached from the "system". I've seen them firsthand with both myself and friends with ASD. Especially socially. Obviously won't apply to every mentally disabled person, but it's extremely high likelihood – I meet almost entirely people with ASD and/or ADHD who feel extremely lonely and can't find comfort socially.

Even with treatment ADHD fucks me and many others over in ways completely unrelated to the system. Friends with ASD describe it similarly, especially when ASD doesn't have as many options in terms of treatment compared to ADHD. When it comes to ADHD, I can't enjoy myself with hobbies or the satisfaction of my productivity as a person without such a disorder can, I can't find happiness in my own hobbies if I can't do them, and I spend many days being upset that I can't make myself do the stuff I want to do even if I have medication. I can say with confidence I would 100% be happier if I was born in the same circumstances but without ADHD. And this is an extremely common sentiment for neurodevelopmental disorders, you can see it all over the thread.

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[–] EternalNicodemus 19 points 8 months ago (1 children)

As an autistic person (diagnosed by an actual professsional, not by tiktok), I must say I am happy existing lol

[–] havokdj 15 points 8 months ago (2 children)

My life can be pretty miserable sometimes but it is 100% not caused by autism and if anything, I'd say the autism helps.

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 8 months ago (20 children)

I don't know. I hate the fact that I was born autistic. Unlike a lot of autistic people, I refuse to think of it as some kind of 'superpower' or positive thing.

I was born defective. I'm literally a broken human who doesn't function correctly.

I know that I sure as hell wish I wasn't born, and whilst I'm sure those mothers are going to do a great job with their children, I also don't think that I should have children at the risk of passing it down and letting another person suffer the way I have.

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 8 months ago (1 children)

If I may take a moment to ask... what the fuck are you on about, OP? Absolutely nothing in the screenshot suggests anything even remotely related to eugenics. You took that leap all on your own.

[–] SasquatchBanana 18 points 8 months ago (1 children)

It is tangentially related. Eugenics in general is about "improving the gene pool" by letting certain people have children. Autistic people are usually thrown into that camp. People don't want autistic kids therefore certain individuals shouldn't have children to reduce that chance. That in spirit is what the post is highlighting.

Now, is the OOP a "eugenicist"? Idk if i can give that conclusion, but the antinatalist rhetoric can be argued to borderline their ideals.

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 8 months ago

I really hate those guys, is ok you don't want kids, don't push it on everyone else.

We have to fix the world one way or another and thruth be told, I think that being so bleak helps nobody.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 8 months ago (10 children)

I definitely understand some of the points made by antinatalism. I often struggle with the fact that life is imposed on me rather then chosen and i am definitely considering geopolitics and ecological/economic when i make choices of how many kids i should have, but i long rationalized most issues to be with human society and not with life itself.

I very much believe society can still evolve but to do so we will need to become better people first, the most straightforward way to get better people is to educate them well starting from birth.

The conclusion of antinatalism seems to be a pessimistic extreme, that life itself can only be suffering so we are better of self-extincting ourself by stopping to make new babies but if all progressives followed this rhetoric then the only people Reproducing are those that do not care at all.

In other words in order for their valid criticisms to have any positive effect on society they should still support progressives that are able to provide to have some amount of kids because or else they become a Selffulfilling prophecy of societal decline.

The bias against neurodivergents having children is sadly enough way more common than just those circles, but people like Greta Thunberg are proof that if anything the world needs more Autism and a not cure.

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[–] BeautifulMind 19 points 8 months ago

Now you have ruined three lives forever

Yeah this is the point where I'm really glad other people having kids is not his decision to make. I'm high-functioning enough to pass for neurotypical, but my sense of injustice at this is amped beyond deep-fat-fry, on to 'hot as the sun at its core'

[–] [email protected] 17 points 8 months ago (18 children)

What a mean thing... but I agree, I never wanted this...

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[–] zepheriths 16 points 8 months ago

I can't believe the willfull ignorance of people. There are examples of thousands of people with autism becoming amazing people. I feel that reason is impossible for some

[–] BilboBargains 15 points 8 months ago

I firmly believe most of our problems come from thick cunts like this.

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