this post was submitted on 29 Sep 2023
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Are ya ready kids?!

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[–] [email protected] 57 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Wakes up and looks at the clock

"Oh, it's only 7:18. Since my alarm is set to 7:20, I'll just shut it off now and let myself rest for a couple of minutes."

opens eyes again

10:45

[–] madcaesar 3 points 1 year ago

Plot twist, it was Tuesday 7:18am and Wednesday 10:45pm!

Also, your kidneys are gone.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 year ago (5 children)

You gotta just stand up. Even if you walk around with your eyes barely open, it's better than laying back down. Waking up in the middle of a shower is a heck of a lot better than waking up late for work

[–] [email protected] 52 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Oh, "just stand up" you say? Wow, after that I could "just get everything important done" and "just make everyone happy".

I have a better idea: I'm gonna go back to sleep.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (4 children)

I don't know if it'll help you, but I envision myself as having two mes: Sleep Me and Awake Me. Sleep Me is an asshole who'll ruin my life just to stay asleep for as long as possible. He fights tooth and nail to keep Awake Me from taking control of my body. ”I'm gonna go back to sleep" is Sleep You talking. They're trying their hardest to convince Awake You that you can't possibly stand up until Sleep You has had their fill of sleep, but it's not like "just be happy" or "just pay attention–" you can control your legs!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

Sleep Me killed Awake Me and now wears his skin in a pale mockery of conscious thought. Sleep Me's true name is ADD.

[–] kraftpudding 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Can I? Often I seriously lie in bed, mentally going through the motion of getting up step by step the whole time convinced I'm doing it, only to notice seconds later I have not moved at all.

I want to so badly, but unless there's the time pressure of having to get up or there'll be bad consequences, I just... can't

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago
[–] jedi_hamster 0 points 1 year ago

Imagine not realizing that you actually need healthy sleep

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago (2 children)

You gotta just stand up.

That's the hard part.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's very easy once you realize you're late.

[–] saruwatarikooji 8 points 1 year ago

When I wake up late or about to be late, I will be up and dressed before my feet hit the floor. It's an amazing ability

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's not if you put your phone out of grabbing reach and use an annoying alarm.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago

Derr achullaly...

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (2 children)

But I wake up so snug tho and just need a few more mins

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

That's Sleep You talking! FUCK Sleep You! They don't give a shit about you, or your success in life, or your mental health. They exist solely to make sure you sleep as much as possible and they're given way too much power to achieve that goal

[–] danc4498 4 points 1 year ago

I get on my phone immediately. Makes it really hard to sleep.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

My one cat usually sleeps on top of me so I can't just stand up. And when he isn't sleeping on me and the alarm goes off, he'll come in running for snuggles and make me fall asleep again.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Cats are truly our greatest enemy in life. My Athena doesn't much care for Awake Me, but as soon as I fall asleep she wants to be as close as possible. If I didn't grab my phone, I'd be back to sleep cuddling her as I type this

[–] PixxlMan 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

And why is it the most divine feeling ever too!?

[–] TwoBeeSan 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Willfully ignoring responsibility always feels great.

[–] LameName3000 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] TwoBeeSan 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yeah.... that's a later me problem lol

[–] madcaesar 4 points 1 year ago

Don't you worry about blank let me worry about blank!

[–] Godnroc 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I set up some smart bulbs and music after I turn off my alarm. Having light and sound stimulation has prevented me from falling back asleep even when I'm so tired I cannot keep my eyes open.

[–] Bondrewd 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yeah, light does actually physiologically wake you up. Sunlight is preferable over lightbulbs though.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Tell that to the folks who extended daylight savings into November.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It would be quite smart if your phone started ringing if you haven't picked it up in 10 min or so after shutting off your alarm.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

Sleep as Android has this along with a ton of other wake up helpers like QRcode/NFC tag scanning to stop the alarm, math problems, etc.

I found the math worked well at first but I apparently got too good at solving them in my sleep.

I put an NFC tag in the bathroom which requires me to get out of bed and go into the bathroom to stop the alarm. That's usually enough to get me to stay up

They also have various CAPTCHA tests, one that requires you to hold your phone and spin around, one that requires you to put the phone up to a light source, and other such things. I'm sure you can find an effective solution that works for you

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I tried that years ago with the nfc tag, but qll i learned is to just sleep through my alert

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I changed my alarm sound to the Sonic running out of time sound and that gets me up every time in a panic

[–] verity_kindle 2 points 1 year ago

That tag idea is gold, thank you

[–] orl0pl -1 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Unfortunately Sleep as android is not open source

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Never said it was?

It's still the best alarm app on Android

[–] orl0pl 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Make one then and send me the link when it's finished

[–] meliaesc 1 points 1 year ago

It's an alarm clock. I don't need it to be open source.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] tdawg 2 points 1 year ago

More like suddenly it's 11..

[–] bappity 5 points 1 year ago

can confirm I have skipped a few hours every time I've tried

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (2 children)

That's why I placed my alarm on the other side of the room. This way I have to get my lazy ass out of the bed to turn it off. And then I'm awake anyway.

[–] abbotsbury 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm such a deep sleeper that I get up, turn off my alarm, and then wake up 4 hours later wondering why my alarm didn't go off.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Wish I had your sleep.

[–] andy_wijaya_med 2 points 1 year ago

I can ignore a ringing alarm if I really want to.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

The clock app on Android is seriously great software. I have myself playing guitar to wake me up and have trained myself to snooze if I am still in bed.

Now I just need to go to bed on time...

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

I've been there before. It's a danger zone.

[–] TheGiantKorean 4 points 1 year ago

A moment of bliss as you naturally wake up from sleep, followed very closely by a moment of panic.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago

Me working from home: Well... I only have a meeting at 10.... at worst I stay longer in the afternoon.