this post was submitted on 18 Sep 2023
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Memes

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[–] [email protected] 162 points 1 year ago (10 children)

Potatoes are amazing. They grow easily in a wide variety of soil and produce food which has every nutrient we need except for a complete protein. And, they're a vegetable, so you can tell someone you're eating your vegetables and then go to McDonald's for some frenchy fries

[–] [email protected] 83 points 1 year ago (3 children)

The frying is the questionable part. (Well, the french part too but...)

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Still vegetables! Everyone knows that a nice dinner at a Chinese buffet is healthy if you eat a few green beans lmao

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

A succulent Chinese meal?!?

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[–] [email protected] 37 points 1 year ago

They really are a miracle food. And they make every dish better.

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[–] [email protected] 94 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Potatoes never go bad. They just start the process of turning into more potatoes.

[–] MaxVoltage 94 points 1 year ago (3 children)

potatoes definitely do rot and the smell is so horrific it can only be the results of failed potato genetics

[–] [email protected] 51 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Rotten potatoes smell somewhere between raw sewage and demon anus

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago (3 children)

The green dust is also toxic to breathe in.

I recently had the pleasure of shoveling a rotting bag of potatoes out of my pantry. Likely the worst smell I have ever witnessed, nothing compares.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Some potatoes went bad in my kitchen a few days ago, it smelled like actual human shit. Grim

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[–] ummthatguy 85 points 1 year ago (5 children)

Potato... right. Anyone handy with the flamethrower?

[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 year ago

Why? We making baked potatoes?

[–] ProvableGecko 18 points 1 year ago

I'm pretty handy with the airfryer

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[–] [email protected] 81 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] deus 56 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Biblically accurate potato

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"Be not ~~afraid~~ hungry."

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[–] [email protected] 58 points 1 year ago (2 children)

[clap clap clap] "Oh, good. My slow clap processor made it into this thing. So we have that."

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[–] [email protected] 57 points 1 year ago

Potatoes after watching "the last of us":

Imma gonna grow

[–] [email protected] 55 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Potatoes are fucking immortal, I recovered some of last year's from a planter whose soil was so dry it was almost sand, planted them again, watered them and they immediately sprouted vines and leaves.

[–] [email protected] 61 points 1 year ago

That's because this is pretty much their natural lifecycle. They're native to the Andes, where cold, dry weather is kind of the norm.

[–] CADmonkey 37 points 1 year ago (7 children)

Potatoes are so easy to grow. You can grow a lot of them in a trash can full of dirt.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Tire stack..... Start growing in a tire or right on the ground. As soon as it's taller than the next available tire take that tire place it on the stack and bury the plant until there's just a couple of leaves above ground. Everything you buried be gentle will root out and become space for more spuds. When it grows up taller than another tire rinse and repeat until you have a stack of tires when you're ready to harvest just start knocking the tires over one by one. Works well to line them with plastic as well if you can

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm not sure I want something that's going into my mouth growing inside old tires.

[–] Slwh47696 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yeah dude it's fine, you also mix used motor oil into the soil and it acts as a good pesticide.

[–] ChickenLadyLovesLife 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Do you prefer your potatoes leaded or unleaded?

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[–] pirat 16 points 1 year ago

I've recently heard of some people living near the coast, carrying on an old local tradition of simply growing potatoes in seaweed instead of soil, adding a natural salty taste to them.

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[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 year ago (6 children)

Now I'm scared to eat potatoes what if it grows in my stomach

[–] Thranduil 51 points 1 year ago (3 children)
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[–] FooBarrington 42 points 1 year ago

That's why you stab them with a knife

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 year ago (5 children)

Then you will just be assimilated

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[–] ProvableGecko 18 points 1 year ago

It's easy, just make sure you don't have any soil based condiments on the side.

[–] psud 17 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Your stomach contains some of the strongest acid in nature, thanks to ancestors who were scavengers. The potato has no chance

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[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I just found that mine are growing little mini potatoes even though they didn't find any soil.

[–] [email protected] 52 points 1 year ago

They soiled themselves.

[–] BonesOfTheMoon 29 points 1 year ago

This photo is just wild.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 year ago

Never let your potato-pc run after midnight. Or this will happen.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago

It’s heading for the screen in the upper right to google for soil.

[–] RIP_Cheems 20 points 1 year ago (14 children)

"Ỉ̷̧̢̢̛̙̫̰̰͚͈̹͉͉̭͍̱̪̟̬̬̜̤͙̲̩̤̗̲̼̥̠͓̜́͛̆̄͛̒̓͑̈́̾̈́̊̇͒̿̈͛́̍̃̔̔̈́͋͒̒͂̂̂͛͊̒̃̎͐̒̉̃̓̽͗̒̓̽̀́͆̆̈́̓̒̒̿̃͋͆̎͊̅̍͘̚̚̚͝͝͠͝͝ͅͅ ̵̧̢̧̡̢̧̡̨̛̛̛͔̜̺̭̟̻̻̩̬̟̭͔̙̫̼̘̪͈̼͇͎̠͇̫̩̖͚̼̠̲͖͉̭̱͎͎̼̮͔̱̟̮̺̫͈͎̠͍̝̪̗̼̪̭̤͓̈̒̄́̒͋͗̏́̔̾̄͌̃̾̓̔̀́̒̉̈̂̾͂̓̉̓̓͋̃͒̾̓͊͛̉̊͆̓͊̈́̅͂̌̏́̒̔̒̾̄̃͑̀́̋́͂̃̌̏̓͌͂̃͛͂͛͌̍̆́̈́̊̄̽̏̉̐̈̀̒̓̽̊͘̕̕̚̚̕͘̕̕͝͝͝͝͝͝͠ř̶̨̡̨̢̡̖͔͇̹̠͇̻̖̬̣̺͇̬͚̝̳̩̟̦̥͍̯̦̺̤͇̗̺̪͉̦͓͍̜͎̼̩͎̙͚͔̲̫͚̫̰̬̝̺͓̣̰̲̞̥̝͓͎̜̟̗͎͕͈̲̻͉̮̫͚͕̰͚̩͈̙͚̫̤͙̥̲̻̯̯̱̻̻̻͇̠͖̆̋̄͗͗͗̂̉̽͑̄̈́̑́͒̐͛͑̑̅̍̀̈́̄̐̒̇̓̋̽̀͂͂̎͐̀̃̆̂̅͒͑̏̓͗̽̒̎̈́͑̌́̍̆̾̈́͘̕̕͜͜͜͜͜͝͝͝͝͝ͅͅę̶̧̨̡̢̡̢̨̢̨̧̛̰̺̟̖͍͈̜̱͙̤̼̩̟̫̪̫̲͔̫̞̹̩͙͙͚̻͕̤͈͙̪͇̣̦̥̩̭̠͔̜̫͚͖̯͍͕͚͓̞̺͎̥͚̗̜̮̖̪͓͔̩̮̩̙̭͉̼̞̲͉̺͚͓̝͔̗̪͙̰͓͈̯̹̒͐̈̈̓̆̀͂̎̿͜͜͜ͅͅͅq̴̨̧̢̢̨̨̡̨̢̡̡̛̛͈̻̞̼̲͙̤̗͙̮̱̦͔̻̖͍̫̻̯̙̝̳̺͓̝̬͉̩̞͚̬͇̱͚͓̱̻̭̤̳̫͚̪̙͈̯̘̜̙̞̜̘͔͍̻͈̥͚̯͕͔͙̭͖͇͕̰̹̦̗̣̜̙̺̖̭̱̙͎͇͐̑͋̀̿̒͗̈́̓̍̿́̓͆̐̆̉̒̓̓̀̐̓̀̑͌̕̚̚͘̚͜͜͜͜͠͝͝͝ͅͅͅu̸̧̨̡̧̨̦̣̙͈͖̭̙̪̤̜̬̞͕̹̜͚̜͇̻̘̤̳͚̺̥͚̩͇̮̙̱̹̣̭͎̺͕̠̻̝̱̘̬̝͇̥̪̯̤̞̬̝̹̳̘̺͉͚̻̟̜̟̥̣̟̗̪̱̟̘͍̻͇̩̖̼͍͔̫̼͈͙͚̅̃̀͂̔̀̿̿̉̈́̔̉͗̒̈́͗͐̄̐͛͛̈́̊̒͊̃̍̓́̎̈̑͑͒͆̊̄̑͗̿̀̈́͆̎͌̍͗̂̾͒́̃̓̑̓̂͆͂̉̏̏͆̂̀́̈̊̿̈́͛͒̿̚̚̚͘̕͜͜͠͝͠ͅͅḭ̸̧̨̨̡̗̱̩͉̞͇̤̠͚͖̦͇̪̜̲̗͓̺̦̺̣̩̮̲̰̪̹͍̫̭̝͈͉̘͙̠̠͍̤̞̼̪̪̪̮̰̹͕͎̈̆͌́̐̎͘͜ͅr̶̡̨̡̢̨̡̛̻͔̘̭̞͕̞͉̲̤͖̘̯̺̝̠͎͕̱̮̟̲͎͙̝̮͈͕̻͕̤̋̎̒͛͛̅̒͆̈̿̐͒͐̄̆͌͑̾̑̎̏̂͑̐̿̈̈́́̔̉̈́͆̓̐̚͘͜ͅe̶̡̧̡̤͎̙͈̗͇̖̫̺͇͖̻͈̥͇̦̩̰̣̯̲̱̗̥͈̤͉̟̗̓̾̀͊͒͗͂͊͗̏͊̅̒̃͂̔̊̿̌̍͛͌̑̈́͋̈́̋́͗͛͆͛͂̎̊̽̍͑̈́̑̋̇̂̂͊͐̄͂̈́̆͗̐̎́̓̐̋͑́̈́̔̾̐̿̌́̏̇̌͑͛̊͛͋̕̚̕̕̚͘͘̕͘͝ ̶̨̨̢̛̛̻̮̪̘̣̩̬̳͔͍͔͉̜̬͚͔͚̲̱̹͖͚͍͇̬̩̱̝̤̜̙͚̼̝̦̠͍̱̜̰̣̪̯͈̟͍͕͎̹̗̗͚̗̞͎̯̼̥̭̦̲̋͐͌̉̈́͗̀̋̈́̔̃̐̄̈́̓͆̏̏̔̿̕̚͜ͅs̴̡̨̧̨̨̡̨̢̨̧̧̗̦̳̣̹͈̭̗̺̹͕̰̰̯͈͓͇̭̦̟̗̬̖̻͈̮̤̼͓̤̞͚͈͓̻̖̠̰̞͔̗̯̥̠̩̥͇̱͚͙͔̖͍̭͎̠͖̜̩͖͙͇̱͔̯̤̖̼͉̟͇̜̬͉̖͇̪̐̑͗̾͛̈͑̄̀̀̈́̍͆̽̃̃̄̐̌̎̊̌͐̓̿͌̽̑̒̑̐̀͒̃͒͌̉͌̉͐͋͆̈́̄́̉͑͒̇̀̌̃̉̎͗̈̑̐̏͌̃́̈̎̒́̈̂̔͐̅͋̀͛́̇͂̍̾̅̊̎̔͆̄̕̕̕̕̕͘̚͘͜͜͝͝͠͝͝ͅͅͅͅò̶̢̢̨̡̠͎̹̦̫̘͈̳̺͓̭̬̯͚̠̗̮̙̗͉̭͕̼̰̮̞͉͈̖̰͙̻̬̩̹̣̱̙̳̳̜̣͙͌̍̐́͆͂̆̄̑̈́͑̓͆̎̓̈́́̀͐͑̈́̇̊́̋̑̎̽̅̐̈̍̽̀͛́̅́͋̽̋͗̎̇̂̇̍̂̔̓̌̽́̑̇̌̏̑͘͘͘̚̕̕̕͜͜͠͝͠͝͝͝͝ͅͅͅͅͅi̴̧̛̮̭̬͕̥͔͖͊̀̂́̂͆͊̈̎̎́͊͗̆̽̽̎̈́̆̒̅̈́̎̈́̐͊̎͑̽̓͘͜͜ͅl̵̛̳͇̝̤͚̹̱̺̜̠͓̮̗̫̜̳͖͚̣̘͚̥̣̯̘̝̻͖̰̠̬͖͖͙̭̱͎̞̣͕͉͖̥̪͉̪̰̲̞̠͙͎̿͋́̅͐̏̾̿̓̈͋̓́̈́̉̓̄̐́̉̔̂̄͊̊͆̅̐̎͛̉̏͑͋̌͋̄̇́̂̐̏̇̎̕̕̚̚̕̚͜͜͝͠͝͠ͅͅ,̴̡̢̡̨̢̧̡̧̨̛̛̛̛̛͉̘̜͔̟̣̭̜̟̯̱͓͇̮̩̯̞͔͔̟̗̣̪̟͎̱͙̼̮͕̮͍͕̳̰̰̩̻̳̤̱̩̗̜̠͓̳̝̻̈̅̒̎̐̔̋͐̀̽̑͑̅͊̔̃̅̈͌̇̆̾̒͆́̍̇̍͛̂͂̂͊̒̈͆͌́̃̃͑̽̃̅̈́̉̀͛̀̄͋̃̑̀̅̈́́̌̐͑́̽̈́̈́̾̓͆̽̈͛̉͌̎̈̕̕̚͜͜͝͠͠͝͝͠͠͝͝ͅ ̵̡̨̧̨̡̡̢̧̜̦̣̪̭̥͈̦͓̩͕̙̗͓͉̩͔̦̟̻̳͙͈͕̘̣̪͉̘̜̰͓̼̪̙̞̯͇̜̗̜͈͙̻͕̦͓͚̱̙͉̬̞̯͈̦͇̠̬̮̭̳͕̞̠̭̭̦̞͎̰͔̻̟͓̃̅́̄̐͛͜͠͝͠J̵̛̛̛̛̰̖͖̺͉̩̣̝͓̹̗̠̈́̌͊̅͂͗̓̍̈͋̀̏̌̒̿̑̏̐̔̂̃̀̍̾̑̈́̔͌͐̐̀̉̅̈̐̔̎̊̉̾̅͋̒́̂̋͆́͛́͑̽̒͂́̇̓̾̒̈́̈̋̓͐͌̔͐̓͆̅̿̎͊̈̋̆̿̊̿̕̚̚̕͘̕͘͘͜͜͝͝͝͝͝͠͠͝͝ơ̴̧̡̨̢̡̨̲̞̘̲̟͎̰̯̣͚̺̣̰͖̪̪̤̱͖͔̙͎̼̟͆͆͆́̎͒̓͒͊̔̒́͋̓͛̓͌̎̿̍͗̑͊̍͐̐̋̋̐̊͋̇̒͐͒̃̋̓̄̔͐̀͛͊̐̀͛͐̈̾͛̈̇̈́̋͂̕͝͠ͅn̸̨̛̛̜͈̱̪͉̥͚̪̮͓̪̱̹̫̹̯͈͚͎̘͆̔̌̍̈́̃̀͆͌̃̽͂̾̓̒̀͆̄̔̈́̈͆̍͂̒̀̈́̈́̇̽̆̀̀̇͒̊̌̇̒̉̈́̐͊͌̌̅́̈́̎̐̅̋̔̈́̆͒̾̎̐͆̆́͂͌̋̈́̇̋̃̊̈́͛̊͒͑͒̿̎͗̏̆̀̊̾͊̏̉̽̚͜͝͠͠!̴̢̡̢̢̛̳̩̗͉͍͉̺̩̗͚͎̩̻̦̩̣̦̫̳͇̪̞̦̦͙̩͖̩̱͈̰̣̲̯̲̳͔̥̮̬̞͎͇̣͎͇̼̭̠̻̺͔͔̘̮̩̩͇̰̱͉͉̫̟͖̄͋̕͜ͅͅ"

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago (8 children)

This comment is taking over my liftoff UI.

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[–] someguy3 13 points 1 year ago

They say don't put them in the fridge but yeah I do.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (2 children)

If this is a stupid question feel free to call me retarted but is that actually how potatoes find the soil?

[–] deus 19 points 1 year ago

I guess so but they grow underground so it shouldn't be this hard for them to find soil.

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