this post was submitted on 13 Sep 2023
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[–] [email protected] 109 points 9 months ago (3 children)

Last panel is wrong. Genie would just grant him an MBA from a top tier school

[–] ChickenLadyLovesLife 63 points 9 months ago (3 children)

I once looked through a textbook from my friend's MBA course. The first thing I noticed was in a highlighted box in the chapter on business negotiating: "Your skill at negotiating will affect the outcome of the negotiations."

These are the people that make 10X what I make.

[–] grayman 20 points 9 months ago (2 children)

This is why I refuse to get an MBA. I already know my pants go on my legs. Thanks.

[–] Viking_Hippie 15 points 9 months ago

taking notes On the legs, you say? Interesting..🤔

[–] ChickenLadyLovesLife 8 points 9 months ago

Your skill at putting on your pants will affect the outcome of the pants-on-putting operation.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago (5 children)

In Czech we say MBA means Mladý, Blbý, Arogantní - Young, Dumb, Arrogant.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago

Are you sure that wasn’t the introduction to the Speech skill in Skyrim?

[–] iamnotdave 10 points 9 months ago (2 children)

I learned this in my first statics class, and I have a BS in business administration.

[–] freecandy 18 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Statics? They teaching yall physics?

[–] ReluctantMuskrat 12 points 9 months ago

Not spelling though... they skipped right past that.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago

They gave you some bs alright.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago

It would be funnier if the genie says "there are two rules"

[–] ocassionallyaduck 82 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Japanese companies, this isn't a wish, it's a fundamental truth of the universe. Like gravity. No matter the scale or importance of them. I promise you your car exists because of an Excel 2003 file on some underpaid engineer's laptop that they periodically sync with an inventory system.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (2 children)

I once worked for a Japanese company where I had to make a presentation. In Excel, I shit you not. Then we had one of our "shadow" managers make a Japanese translation of the same thing. It took me two days to get the kerning and print layout right, especially with that weird english typeface that is Japanese standard, I hate to think how long the translator took to get their version right.

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[–] [email protected] 48 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (6 children)

Microsoft spent years and years trying to get people to not use Excel as a database, until they eventually had to give up hope that anyone who doesn't know the difference would voluntarily use Access, so they started adding database-like functionality to Excel to meet their customer's demands and try to make the experience at least a little bit less painful.

This is a real-life case of "meet the user where they are" despite the designer's wishes, because even within Microsoft, there is strong agreement on not using Excel as a DB.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I only ever encountered Access was once many years ago and I was warned that it had issues with multiple users.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 9 months ago (4 children)

Well, to be fair to Access, it's not like Excel is such a great multi-user database either, now is it? ;-)

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[–] [email protected] 46 points 9 months ago (3 children)

This is basically what I run for a living and it's definitely not glamorous.

[–] eslaf 37 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Employers get what they demand, what they deserve. Anyway excel works as a database until around 1 million entries...

[–] xpinchx 38 points 9 months ago

Once you get to a million just start a new one and create a "master" spreadsheet that uses power query to append them all. Problem solved ;)

Don't tell anyone but I actually do this.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 9 months ago (2 children)

I feel you. Working in healthcare, ms office is the only thing consistently installed site wide I can take advantage of to run a db.

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[–] Confused_Emus 8 points 9 months ago

I work as a network tech for a globally spanning ISP specializing in fiber services, handling major maintenances that are service effecting for business and government customers (SLAs are in effect). These maintenances are planned and tracked through various excel sheets - housed either in a shared network drive (so yeah, we may run into issues where multiple people are trying to edit the same doc at once), or excel tables in a SharePoint.

Prior to the merger of companies I recently went through, we had actual database systems to track this stuff that worked just fine. And now we're relying on the same shit a grad student would use to track their doctorate progress. It'll work until it doesn't. Looking forward to the shit-show if it gets me overtime.

[–] thantik 31 points 9 months ago (3 children)

Anyone else use Microsoft Access....30 years ago?

[–] [email protected] 21 points 9 months ago

How about last week?

Why yes this comic made me think of our users, why do you ask?

[–] ChickenLadyLovesLife 19 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Fun fact: most of the electronic voting machines in the 2000 presidential election used Access to store vote counts. Access, the "database" with a user-editable audit table.

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 9 months ago

3gb CSV file goes brrrr....

[–] [email protected] 22 points 9 months ago

Should’ve been the version saying:

Geanie: “It is done”

Person: “But… nothing changed”

G: “Correct”

[–] [email protected] 21 points 9 months ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Don't be gross, use CSV files

[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago

I mean it's a simple file format so it'll perform better because it doesn't have to decode any complex formats or protocols.

Big O? Never heard of it!

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[–] AnUnusualRelic 13 points 9 months ago (1 children)

"I have to make a brochure for the printing shop and I'd like to compose it in Excel"

"There are actually five rules..."

"In Powerpoint?"

"Make that six."

[–] [email protected] 15 points 9 months ago (3 children)

Except PowerPoint is actually quite nice to make quick, easy and good looking visualizations and brochures without having to deal with Word

[–] AnUnusualRelic 11 points 9 months ago (4 children)

Well, Word isn't really a good choice either.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Isn't the Genie usually depicted as malicious, or at least mischievous? I would expect the Genie to grant the wish, knowing what a shitshow it would be.

[–] Blank 8 points 9 months ago

Even Genie have standards.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

My 5th rule would be "fix my IT problem without me telling you what the error message says". Because fuck that

[–] [email protected] 11 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] protput 7 points 9 months ago (1 children)

That would be something I could google. So not completely useless.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

Honestly, since the introduction of 'tables', pivot tables, Power Pivot and Power Query, Excel is way more viable to be used as a database. Tables in particular mean that formulas fill down and the range automically resizes when records are added.

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[–] Asudox 8 points 9 months ago (6 children)

Kind of related question: Is it okay for me to use JSON as a small DB? I just store basic blog page data there.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I mean it will work, but for a blog I'd store the pages in markdown files, to make it easier to edit. For context, look into how Hugo works

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[–] joneskind 8 points 9 months ago (1 children)

My old ass crying in MS Access

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