this post was submitted on 13 Sep 2023
1497 points (98.9% liked)

Memes

45903 readers
2273 users here now

Rules:

  1. Be civil and nice.
  2. Try not to excessively repost, as a rule of thumb, wait at least 2 months to do it if you have to.

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 109 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Last panel is wrong. Genie would just grant him an MBA from a top tier school

[–] ChickenLadyLovesLife 63 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I once looked through a textbook from my friend's MBA course. The first thing I noticed was in a highlighted box in the chapter on business negotiating: "Your skill at negotiating will affect the outcome of the negotiations."

These are the people that make 10X what I make.

[–] grayman 20 points 1 year ago (2 children)

This is why I refuse to get an MBA. I already know my pants go on my legs. Thanks.

[–] Viking_Hippie 15 points 1 year ago

taking notes On the legs, you say? Interesting..🤔

[–] ChickenLadyLovesLife 8 points 1 year ago

Your skill at putting on your pants will affect the outcome of the pants-on-putting operation.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (5 children)

In Czech we say MBA means Mladý, Blbý, Arogantní - Young, Dumb, Arrogant.

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

Are you sure that wasn’t the introduction to the Speech skill in Skyrim?

[–] iamnotdave 10 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I learned this in my first statics class, and I have a BS in business administration.

[–] freecandy 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Statics? They teaching yall physics?

[–] ReluctantMuskrat 12 points 1 year ago

Not spelling though... they skipped right past that.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

They gave you some bs alright.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

It would be funnier if the genie says "there are two rules"

[–] ocassionallyaduck 82 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Japanese companies, this isn't a wish, it's a fundamental truth of the universe. Like gravity. No matter the scale or importance of them. I promise you your car exists because of an Excel 2003 file on some underpaid engineer's laptop that they periodically sync with an inventory system.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

I once worked for a Japanese company where I had to make a presentation. In Excel, I shit you not. Then we had one of our "shadow" managers make a Japanese translation of the same thing. It took me two days to get the kerning and print layout right, especially with that weird english typeface that is Japanese standard, I hate to think how long the translator took to get their version right.

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 48 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (6 children)

Microsoft spent years and years trying to get people to not use Excel as a database, until they eventually had to give up hope that anyone who doesn't know the difference would voluntarily use Access, so they started adding database-like functionality to Excel to meet their customer's demands and try to make the experience at least a little bit less painful.

This is a real-life case of "meet the user where they are" despite the designer's wishes, because even within Microsoft, there is strong agreement on not using Excel as a DB.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I only ever encountered Access was once many years ago and I was warned that it had issues with multiple users.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Well, to be fair to Access, it's not like Excel is such a great multi-user database either, now is it? ;-)

load more comments (4 replies)
load more comments (5 replies)
[–] [email protected] 46 points 1 year ago (3 children)

This is basically what I run for a living and it's definitely not glamorous.

[–] eslaf 37 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Employers get what they demand, what they deserve. Anyway excel works as a database until around 1 million entries...

[–] xpinchx 38 points 1 year ago

Once you get to a million just start a new one and create a "master" spreadsheet that uses power query to append them all. Problem solved ;)

Don't tell anyone but I actually do this.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I feel you. Working in healthcare, ms office is the only thing consistently installed site wide I can take advantage of to run a db.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Confused_Emus 8 points 1 year ago

I work as a network tech for a globally spanning ISP specializing in fiber services, handling major maintenances that are service effecting for business and government customers (SLAs are in effect). These maintenances are planned and tracked through various excel sheets - housed either in a shared network drive (so yeah, we may run into issues where multiple people are trying to edit the same doc at once), or excel tables in a SharePoint.

Prior to the merger of companies I recently went through, we had actual database systems to track this stuff that worked just fine. And now we're relying on the same shit a grad student would use to track their doctorate progress. It'll work until it doesn't. Looking forward to the shit-show if it gets me overtime.

[–] thantik 31 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Anyone else use Microsoft Access....30 years ago?

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago

How about last week?

Why yes this comic made me think of our users, why do you ask?

[–] ChickenLadyLovesLife 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Fun fact: most of the electronic voting machines in the 2000 presidential election used Access to store vote counts. Access, the "database" with a user-editable audit table.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 year ago

3gb CSV file goes brrrr....

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago

Should’ve been the version saying:

Geanie: “It is done”

Person: “But… nothing changed”

G: “Correct”

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Don't be gross, use CSV files

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

I mean it's a simple file format so it'll perform better because it doesn't have to decode any complex formats or protocols.

Big O? Never heard of it!

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] AnUnusualRelic 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"I have to make a brochure for the printing shop and I'd like to compose it in Excel"

"There are actually five rules..."

"In Powerpoint?"

"Make that six."

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Except PowerPoint is actually quite nice to make quick, easy and good looking visualizations and brochures without having to deal with Word

[–] AnUnusualRelic 11 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Well, Word isn't really a good choice either.

load more comments (4 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Isn't the Genie usually depicted as malicious, or at least mischievous? I would expect the Genie to grant the wish, knowing what a shitshow it would be.

[–] Blank 8 points 1 year ago

Even Genie have standards.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

My 5th rule would be "fix my IT problem without me telling you what the error message says". Because fuck that

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] protput 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That would be something I could google. So not completely useless.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Honestly, since the introduction of 'tables', pivot tables, Power Pivot and Power Query, Excel is way more viable to be used as a database. Tables in particular mean that formulas fill down and the range automically resizes when records are added.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Asudox 8 points 1 year ago (6 children)

Kind of related question: Is it okay for me to use JSON as a small DB? I just store basic blog page data there.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I mean it will work, but for a blog I'd store the pages in markdown files, to make it easier to edit. For context, look into how Hugo works

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (5 replies)
[–] joneskind 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

My old ass crying in MS Access

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›