Ask Lemmy

Staying in your room all day playing video games doesn't work, I know because Ive been doing that for years

Usually I just talk about some random shit to them and if they feel like participating they will. You’ll be surprised how often this works. Obviously try to think of something you’re both interested in which is generally pretty easy to figure out. If you’re both at a concert just ask who they’re there to watch. If you’re in a video game lobby just use voice chat until someone cool joins in and then send them a friend request after. The key to all this is you need to be actively participating in the whole friendship dance. The other key is overcoming your anxiety if you have it, literally just say fuck it and say hi or whatever. Also if you’re anxious find someone who is also anxious and say something like “this fucking sucks huh?” If you’re at a party. Making friends is easy if you just be yourself as long as yourself is not a cunt

Oh yeah it’s also important to get the fuck out of your house. If you tell me it’s scary outside I will tell you I don’t give a fuck. Why are you letting your anxiety control you, you control your anxiety. You will always have anxiety if you never run at it and scream loud, teach your anxiety to kindly fuck off. So go do shit, go to the local community center, go to a bar, go join a club, so much stuff you can do. Oh and if you tell me there’s nothin out there in the big green world that you like to do other than sit at home? You’re a liar and you’re a dumb dumb. There is at least one thing you can do to get you out of your house and out there with people, I guarantee it.

Think about something you care about, then search for a group that does something about it. If you're lucky, you'll find a local chapter of that group. Then start attending meetings - they might be online or in person - and just slowly get to know the people involved. In the meantime, you'll be involved in an organization doing stuff you care about, which is rewarding on its own.

If you're an adult who is out of school - through organized hobbies.

For me, I like D&D and other RPGs. I moved to a new neighborhood of my city this year and pinged the Discord server of a local game store to organize some games. I was able to get several groups of people together over the next few months, all of whom had a lot in common (gamers), and out of those groups I've made two good friends who I now regularly hang out with in a non-gaming way.

Physical activities that happen in a central location are also great. Rock climbing gyms, adult beer leagues and meetups for activities are some examples.

Basically if you're too socially awkward to just randomly start talking to strangers, try to find a setting that strangers show up to with the primary goal of wanting to do an activity together. Then use interaction during that activity to feel out people who you could be friends with.

Hello Danny, I'm Jake.

Volunteer

Finding interests, then finding others that share that interest.

Meetup.com find a group in your area that you are interested in then you have the ice breaker sorted because you are there for the same thing. If you like the vibe go again, if not find a new group.

Bold of you to think that I do

They just appear, idk, I don't do anything, just respond to conservation normally

Try going to a trivia night at a local bar.

I'm in a medieval reenactment group called the Society of Creative Anachronism that has pretty much any period activity you'd want to do. I do my best to show up to meetings, practices, and events. This has helped me meet people from many walks of life, but a common feature is that they're passionate about some kind of craft and like to learn new things.

I play in a golf league so get to talk to different people every week. My wife also drags me to all sorts of community events so we meet plenty of people there.

I don't. People are stupid and confusing. My name is Korvo. I'm the one holding the pupa. This is my show. I just dropped the pupa. This is ridiculous. I hate earth. It's a horrible home.

Depends on how old you are. Making friends take two to tango. If the other person doesn’t seem keen it might not be personal. They might just not be in that frame of mind.

Can’t say for yourself. If I was single and childless. I have a remote job so don’t see anyone. But I would start going to company social events. I would pick a social sport so there’s the added bonus of exercise. Wild one but perhaps getting a weekend job. If it’s somewhere chilled with likeminded staff and hobbies. If it doesn’t work you made money and get a dose of socialising if it’s people facing.

I’m thinking book store, music shop or even charity/festival volunteering

I'm trying to meet people irl by going to events that involve my interests. There are some upcoming events, but they're months away from now.

Social hobbies: dancing lessons, martial arts, game stores (that host dnd or mtg), etc.