this post was submitted on 18 Aug 2023
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Falcons (i.postimg.cc)
submitted 1 year ago by Archer to c/tumblr
 
top 17 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] FireTower 81 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I fact checked this. This is only true if you recognize the proposed subclade of Eufalconimorphae. If we operate under the accepted understanding that parrots and falcons are linked by being in the higher clade of Australaves it would be inappropriate to call falcons closer related to parrots than other birds of prey because the Austravalaves definition includes Cariamiformes (like the terror bird) which are also birds of prey.

[–] betterdeadthanreddit 28 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You sound like one of those antieufalconimorphaeists.

[–] FireTower 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm just a cariamiformes truther. #allbirdsofprey

[–] betterdeadthanreddit 13 points 1 year ago

I'll need to see your long-form hatch certificate to know whether you're an African or European swallow. Do you even migrate, bro?

[–] GCanuck 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I think I finally understand that glazed look people get in their eyes when I nerd out about computers.

[–] FireTower 16 points 1 year ago

Tldr: Tumblr OP forgot that falcons are closely related to these mfers

[–] Treczoks 25 points 1 year ago (2 children)

If someone of the zoo regularly listens to such wrong "facts", why don't they put of "Did You Know?" signs with actual facts at the enclosures? TIL that falcons are Assault Parrots.

[–] FlyingSquid 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

They do put those signs at enclosures. In every zoo I've ever been to.

[–] thedrivingcrooner 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I ain't seen no assault parrots. I HAVE seen your steppe-Eagle and she fine as hell tho...

[–] postmateDumbass 3 points 1 year ago

Maltese Parrot.

Millenium Parrot.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

The second half of this sounds like it came straight from TierZoo

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I totally thought those "facts" were going to be the made up crap that dads come up with to mess with their kids.

I.E. My dad once told me that the reason we sweat was because if we didn't we'd burst into flames when we get hot.

Way more entertaining than legitimate misinformation and misunderstandings.

[–] JoshuaSlowpoke777 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

In case anyone isn’t aware of the actual reason we die when we get overheated enough:

At the point where that happens, some of our bodily enzymes would stop working, meaning some of the tiny processes that keep us alive would no longer be possible.

Stay hydrated, friendos

[–] mangosloth 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

In other words, falcons are the ranked sweatlords of birds

[–] Speculater 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

"I can fly 300 kilometers per an hour and decapitate a duck. I might break my neck doing it."

[–] Tangent5280 5 points 1 year ago

Please don't assault parrots

[–] Okokimup 2 points 1 year ago

I had to stay quiet as a random 6-ish yo child confidentially asserted to her parents that the elephant with an enormous erection was a girl.