Could you please edit the post to have the NSFW tag checked. Thank you (:
this post was submitted on 14 Aug 2023
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Remember when we all thought how cute it was that that one otter was stealing surf boards? They’re done being cute, now.
different otters. entirely different species.
Bruh. Don't fall for the propaganda.
This is just the beginning. I'm getting out while I still can.
I for one welcome our new floating fuzzy overlords…
Otters are only cute to people that don’t know anything about otters.
They’re massive rapists.
If you look at the animal kingdom, you'll see that rape is kind of the norm.
And yet, not a particularly great legal defence.
No definitely not, but then "but! but! Dolphins do it! Why can't I?!" is probably not a good defense for anything... Legal or otherwise.
Yeah, but they hold hands when they sleep and break clams on their tummies!!!
Just bite back, your teeth are bigger and your jaws are stronger! You are an animal, act like one!
Beat it into a pulp. Then have sex with its corpse. Not for pleasure but to send a message to its kind.
I don't have any messages I need to send that badly.
That’s what otters do. If you want to send a message you have to speak their language.
Really though, otters are some of the most viscous little critters. They will rape other animals to death. Then rape their corpses.
Otters are fucked up.
And yet so cute.
Also, your saliva is more infectious.
Mustalids routinely win against larger prey. Stout kill full size rabbits and a wolverine has been recorded to have killed a polar bear. Don't give the otter an excuse.
Otters are apex predators simply because they have the ability of tactical genius working in strike group squads. If you've ever seen the videos of them taking down and drowning crocodiles, then you know. They are not omg adorbs so cute!! They can and will destroy you. Walking navy seal copypastas.
Zootopia taught me that (Emmett) Otter(ton) is apex predator that can go...Savage.
God damn I didn't know otters were 1.2 meters long, that's a big fuckin' marmot dude
Giant otters in the Amazon can get to be 2 meters long.
There's a video on YouTube where otters were housed with monkeys, the monkeys trolled the shit out of the otters for the Lulz... Eventually the otters all sort of snapped, together, grabbed one and absolutely mauled the shit out of it.
Of all the things to get attacked by in Montana. Not a bear, not a mountain lion, or a wolf, or a moose. Nope, a fucking otter is the thing that gets you. Jesus.
I would much rather it be an otter than any of those you mentioned, though.
it's funny how they left the most dangerous bastards off the list: humans.
Ok plan B.
Let's get honey badgers and breed them for intelligence and pack tactics.
I'm not sure you'd need more than three... but also... do you really want to unleash that on the world? Honey Badgers are vicious.
You must admit it would make life more interesting.
Yes, I would have to admit that. Especially if they were trained to go after covfefe and hamberders.
That otter make her think twice.
By the grace of god you made it out of the river? By the grace of god? You dumb shitheel an otter bit your fuckin' ear off. If anything your stupid ass got smote.
But she mostly made it out. Coincidentally the otter could be heard uttering, "Science damn you time child!"
Alright, Florida Man, you're up.
Call, Raise, or Fold?
Otters are mean
Yikes.
"... And in otter news!"
That Otter leave a mark!
Someone go tell Asst. Mayor Bellweather that she was right! The otters have gone savage!
It ... it bit part of her ear off!!
Now we all know that otters fuck and specifically with YOU.
That otter leave a mark!