lack of curiosity
this post was submitted on 12 Aug 2023
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Asklemmy
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That's a big one. Also lack of hobbies or passions.
This is exactly what tanked a potential relationship for me a few years ago.
Not being kind to people in the service industry.
Do people really do that? I just kind of meet people and whatever happens happens.
Right?
Being "vetted" by them...
Maybe you don't like the wording, but everyone does this. Unless you know if someone will be a close friend the moment you lay eyes on them, or are friends with literally everyone you've spent time with.
Yes everyone does it naturally and mostly subconsciously over time as they get to know people. You've got to be a real psycho to be running through a checklist you've crowd sourced online. Wtf is this thread. Ugh reddit refugees lmao.
I personally doubt OP is going to actually use the answers like that.
Yep, not having any standards for who you spend your time with can have bad consequences. This is very clearly not referring to something as ludicrous as pulling their credit score.
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- Belief in nonsense, such as astrology
- Celebrity worship
- Excessive social media usage, especially Twitter
you're on lemmy
What about excessive lemmy usage?
That would be really weird. Thereβs not enough content for excessive Lemmy usage.
That they vetted me
- Serious belief in pseudosciences
- Conspiracy theorist
- Right-wing ideology
- Sex prude
If they are cheap/stingy but when someone else is paying they get the more expensive things. If someone is consistently frugal in all situations I don't mind.
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Who are these people who have so many choices in friends that they can afford to vet them?
Its not so much having friends to vet them.
its meeting new people that seem, for all intents and purposes, cool and mellow people.
Then you make the mistake of sending them an off-platform friend request and are quickly brought to realization that the only thing keeping them cool and mellow was the platforms rules and reporting.
I got duped like that once in a game, Kept running into eachother and playing together, so sent them an out of game friend request.. Immediately received a massive tirade about what they really thought about trans people, and gays, and other various topics. 100% unprompted, and out of the blue 0-100 in .00237 second.
The only reason I didnt immediately block them was because I was too stupified and took me a solid minute to gather myself. Ended up having to block them in game, too.. Which I think resulted in them being banned, since they sent me a huge message in game about i must be one of those liberal trans homosexuals since i blocked him after his "truth" or whatever bullshit. Reported his ass, and never saw him again.
Crazy is super good at concealing itself, until it thinks you are a compatriot.
Someone who identifies very closely with hustle & grind culture. Someone who claims a personal brand. Someone who kisses up and kicks down.
Inability to follow instructions. Lack of problem solving skills. No common sense.
Refusing to participate in a civil discussion, but instead resorting to ad hominem (attacking the person not the argument) or refusing to consider the other sides argument. If they do this any minor dispute will escalate to a flame war.
You probably got machine-corrected, that's ad hominem. But yes, not being able to handle an argument healthily is a big handicap in life
Thanks!
Unimpactful trait? I'd say if they put the toilet paper the wrong way, if you have to ask which way is the right way we can't be friends. Also if they don't return the shopping cart, instant way for me to lose respect for you.
Oddly enough your rigity on this is why we could not be friends.
How they treat people who disagree with them politically. If they immediately hate/cut off people for political disagreements, we're not going to be friends any deeper than surface level.
Depends on the disagreement... if the topic under discussion is as inflammatory as abortion or trans rights, I'm sure you can understand why some folks can't agree to disagree.
Not agreeing to disagree isn't the same as cutting someone off from your life, even for those issues. There are multiple issues within those issues that are extreme. For example, I'm pro-choice, but the cutoff for me is probably around the 24 week mark. Pushing for more than that, to me, is extreme, unless we're talking outlier situations, which would go on a case-by-case basis.
Based on that, many people who are extreme in their belief would certainly cut me out of their life for not supporting late-term abortion.
This all-or-nothing approach is just irrational. It's not a good match friendship-wise.
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Listens to pop music
Same for any pop media. Some is fine, but if they think every current trending show or movies is "the best" than I know they don't have a system of standard.
If they're boring, then we can't hang
If they talk bad about other people, especially if you donβt know the would-be friend very well. If theyβll bad mouth other people to you theyβre gonna bad mouth you to other people.