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Where's the line, like initial attraction is kind of - by definition always limited in it's understanding of "the other".... Whether that's a woman finding a fatherly figure attractive, or a gay guy finding a bear attractive, or someone finding an Irish accent hot...
They're all empty slates we project onto, it's only later that we learn about the human beyond those characteristics. Then we find out they're kind of a horrible person, and that's the end of that.
as a gay guy, it definitely starts off with "the other person is a human with needs" [commonly with the subtext "and i hope one of those needs is to fuck me"]
One of these days I'll open one of these threads and not see the tech obsessed weeaboo mens rights activists trying to justify treating women as sex objects.
Not today sadly.
I was like "surely it's not that bad", figuring on a couple/three nOt AlL mEN commenters.
Alas no, a whole thread of "everyone fetishizes someone" bs.
No, you slap dicks, it's possible to "have a type" without objectifying people. Do you even know what objectifying is? Can you understand the difference between attraction and viewing another human as an object that only exists for your gratification?
I think part of it is just life inexperience, combined with parents being afraid of having honest conversations with their kids about sexuality, attraction, and respect. I know I had a LOT of growing to do as a young man. I greatly appreciate the friends I had that called me out on my bullshit. I'm also glad my shyness kept me from outright chode behavior as a youth. I could've been very harmful in different circumstances. Not intentionally, but harmful nonetheless
I am heartened that so many in this thread are calling out the foolishness. I just hope the boys listen
The problem with saying "Asians are fetishized" is that EVERY race is fetishized. Every body feature is fetishized. Small tits? Fetishized. Big tits? Fetishized. Black? Fetishized. White? Fetishized. Asian? Fetishized. Wear glasses? Fetishized.
No matter who you are, there's SOMEOME fetishizing you.
which is awesome! if you want to have a hookup with a chaser who only sees you for your anatomy and not as a person with needs
It's almost what is being fetishized is not the problem everyone has a preference. It's the objectification that's the problem and not seeing another person as a whole human with agency.
Indeed, being attracted to certain aesthetic features isn't a bad thing. But seeking out someone to fulfill that fantasy, irrespective of any other factor, is.
People are too quick to assume they are being singled-out "irrespective of any other factor" though. We're all so convinced no-one could like us for who we really are.
I mean, if I'm being honest, no-one should like me for who I really am, but that hasn't stopped plenty of people. You get the idea.
Are people to quick to assume that? Where are you getting that information from? Are you assuming it?
Honestly, its a trope and a pretty common issue, as well as something I struggled with when I was young.
If you look at incels, its the reverse: a whole bunch of people convinced they lack something specific which others are singled out for to attract a lover, regardless of personality or character. They convince themselves they have nothing to offer but their "entitlement to sex", to the point they eventually become right about the nothing to offer part.
I've had exactly one partner that was with me as an interracial kink. And it was REALLY creepy. Didn't like it at all. I ask about family a lot to flush that out, if ''my dad would be so pissed if they knew I was dating you'' pops up. I'm out. It's a terrible feeling. The ''this doesn't matter because it happens to everyone'' logic is deeply flawed. This isn't an equation, mutual problems don't invalidate eachother, it just sucks when you realize you're experiencing it and you never want to deal with it again.
Just in case anyone cares, I'm not an Asian woman, I'm a Hispanic man, I relate to the comic, I don't think it's invalid because it also has happened to me.
That doesn't make it a good thing or something that shouldn't be off-putting to the people who are being fetishized. It's normal to be attracted to certain physical features but when you fetishize certain physical characteristics, ethnic/racial backgrounds, etc. you treat those people as a sexualized objects and not a human being who may have a sexual aspect to them but is much more complex than just the often superficial characteristics that are fetishized.
People want to be perceived as whole, complex human beings, not just carriers of characteristics that provide you sexual gratification which, if you fetishise something about a person, you are doing to them whether you realize it or not. It's creepy, disrespectful, and dehumanizing.
Feel free to feel attracted to certain physical characteristics but do not fetishise people.
And it's still not good, and far less frequent than what Asian women endure in the West.
Nah, little/big tits are character traits that span multiple races so they're probably going to be fetishized more broadly just by virtue of that.
So here we might need another dimension. I'd call it depth or thoroughness. The idea of submissive asian women might be more thorough in its fetishized details, but probably isn't as broadly as things like tit size.
Thanks for the confidence boost. I'm waiting for someone to fetishizes weirdos like me
Don't worry, they are out there.
Unfortunately, they are highly allergic to pineapple... but they are out there.
Asian women generally face a lot more sexual harassment in western countries than white women because of the idea people have that they’re submissive and ‘traditional’ and won’t defend themselves. If you can’t imagine being fetishised is a bad thing you have serious issues with empathising.
Dating someone who fetishises you means they don’t care about your personality or other traits except for the trait they fetishise. They’ll try to fit you into a racial mould you probably don’t belong to just to satisfy their weird fantasies. They do not care that they hurt you in the process because you’re not a person to them.
Asian women generally face a lot more sexual harassment in western countries than white women because of the idea people have that they’re submissive and ‘traditional’ and won’t defend themselves.
I believe that Asian women tend to think European men will be more progressive, more respectful than Asian men, maybe letting their guard down a bit. That's very bad that all women have to stay so vigilant all the time. Systemic misogyny is still very much a thing even in the most progressive western countries...
Anyway, I can give a small personal anecdote as a white European man, while I was dating using dating apps in Europe. The only women I ever managed to meet for a date were all Asians ! As an average looking guy, I gave every women on the platform equals chances. I guess I am not really "the type" European women are looking for, but somehow it seems I am popular among Asian women. I am now happily married for several years with one of this women :)
I've suffered my whole life from ladies fetishing me just because of my race. it's not like I'm even a person literally shaking rn
Most people like attributes of other people.
Most people don't like being liked because of attributes.
When someone is obsessed with Asian culture and they seek out someone that is Asian, It takes a special kind of person to accept that process it and work with it. Some people can use it to their advantage. Most wouldn't want to.
Remember, if anyone is ever attracted to you, they must be fetishising you!
I'd say it's obvious that that's not what the comic is saying but it's probably hard to tell the difference if no one has ever been attracted to you.
The more your relationships are about appearance, the less you can know about yourself and them since you are certain to not chase a partner to be a trophy among other effects
It's not about being a "trophy". I just want to be with someone that I'm physically attracted to, and who is physically attracted to me. I don't think that's unreasonable. Obviously we need to have compatible personalities/interests beyond that but it is a big factor.
