this post was submitted on 04 Feb 2025
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[–] [email protected] 58 points 5 days ago (4 children)

I think he should hear the chimp out.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 5 days ago (3 children)

In the law of the jungle ... if one chimp wants to try to horde 100 bananas and not share them, all the other chimps will attack the one greedy chimp and take all the bananas.

As intelligent humans, we've allowed a few chimps in our global community to horde a banana pile the size of mount everest and that's perfectly normal to us.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 days ago

To be fair, most people don't see that pile in their day to day.

[–] edgemaster72 4 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Kinda sounds like the opening to a hominid Law & Order show

In the law of the jungle … if one chimp wants to try to horde 100 bananas and not share them, all the other chimps will attack the one greedy chimp and take all the bananas.

These are their stories. dun dun

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 days ago

Lol .... I also thought of it as Farside comic panel

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Please stop relating everything back to politics.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 days ago

Said the person in the waning days of the collapse of civilization as they know it due to problems caused by politics.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 5 days ago

GET UP COME ON DOWN WITH THE SICKNESS

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

Apes together... (beats chest)
Strong

[–] CrayonRosary 2 points 5 days ago

That's an ape!

[–] [email protected] 36 points 5 days ago
[–] [email protected] 20 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Whenever I feel powerless, I remember the wise words of my ancient ancestors:

"Ooo eee ooo ahh ahh, ting tang walla walla bingbang."

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 days ago

Were your ancestors some chipmunks?

https://youtu.be/cmjrTcYMqBM

Or the Danish gadget pop formation 'the cartoons'?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZNYyrbACLs

[–] [email protected] 26 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I always wondered what the cutoff would be for apes/humans going to heaven. Apes aren't allowed, humans are allowed. At one point in evolution, a non-heaven-compatible creature gave birth to a heaven creature. That poor proto-human, living in heaven without parents and probably unable to speak. They wouldn't be able to sing along to the Ronnie James Dio concerts up there 😔

[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 days ago

i dunno that monkey makes a good point

[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Wait you don't have to worry about Lions and Wolves eating your wife? You are winning!

[–] kamenlady 6 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I would be terrified to live in a place where wolves and lions share a hunting ground.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I was thinking sabretooth lions since they'd be likely to share similar territory as wolves. Good thing they went extinct

[–] kamenlady 3 points 4 days ago

Just went down a rabbit hole about sabertooth lions, tigers and inevitably got to the Smilodon. What a kitty.

They supposedly had stocky, well muscled proportions.

[–] Broadfern 12 points 5 days ago

That last ancestor might be onto something

[–] MeatPilot 4 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

Brings up my favorite theory. If ghosts exist, surely their is a few caveman ghosts floating about. Probably haunting a mall or a place utterly foreign and confusing to his primitive mind. Only ended up there because thousands of years ago that is where his yurt was.

Anyhow would make for an awesome retro horror movie plot. Call it "Ooga BOO-ga".

[–] garbagebagel 1 points 5 days ago (1 children)

This is part of the plot of Ghosts (UK) and it is very funny. I believe the US version has a Viking instead of a caveman. Both are good.

[–] MeatPilot 1 points 5 days ago

Thanks, gonna add that to my watch list.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 days ago
[–] Zachariah 2 points 5 days ago

Seek wisdom from Descendents instead.

[–] stupidcasey 1 points 4 days ago

I have come to grant you guidance, If you see a light swim towards it.

Oh so like if an opportunity presents itself don't let it pass you up cease it? That's so profound.

What?! No my eyes have only evolved to see dark and light, literally my only instinct is to swim towards light, I have no idea what any of those words mean.

[–] TropicalDingdong -1 points 5 days ago

AHH AHHH! OOOOH!!!