He decided to tell an embarrassing story about me that I’ve explicitly asked him not to share before
That's not a red flag, that's the end of the relationship.
this post was submitted on 29 Dec 2024
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This is clearly abusive behavior, and it will only escalate the longer you stick around.
Check out this book, it’s a quick read and really demystifies the behavior of abusive partners: https://archive.org/details/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/mode/2up
Quite clearly. Even if you wanted to forgive his attempts at humor at your expense, his insistence on you apologizing is indicative of your feelings being beneath his. He cannot place himself in your position to realize it was hurtful, and this will escalate as time passes.
He sounds like a twat. Why are you with him? Is he holding your mother hostage or something?
Sounds like he needs to be an ex-boyfriend. He doesn't respect you
You were absolutely in the right. He crossed the line in a major way. It's one thing to lightly tease about your career, but denigrating your skill at the job you love and sharing something you explicitly asked to never be shared is way too far. I'm not going to jump to the classic "break up now" trope, but I think you'll have to arrange a serious conversation about your boundaries and how you were hurt.
Fuck that shit, I wouldn't give this guy the time of day afterwards.
Homeboy is insecure and a coward. I've been around similar idiots. They feel insecure in front of the bros they're trying to impress so they pick on someone they think will not defend themselves. In my case they pick on me being short. Dumbasses aren't even creative so it's easy to snap right back having heard their jokes a million times. They don't like that. They're super sensitive. Dump his ass, you deserve better. All he's going to do is double down. If you cave, it will only get worse.
I’m sorry you went through that. The way he treated you is 100% not okay. Your boyfriend appears to be lacking a reasonable level of empathy and EQ. It’s likely to only get worse. It may not be quite on the nose but google the acronym DARVO.
If he were a half-decent person he’d apologize to you regardless of how he felt—that’s what people do when they respect you and give a shit.
As for your friends who thought you should have dealt with that... get some friends with some fucking empathy. That’s not how people treat each other when they care.
Again, sorry you went through that. It’s shitty.
If you're there for the money, then dealing with the abuse is your job. It's not one I'd recommend. Has it worked out well for Melania?
He probably resents your current job because it interferes with his control over you.
I'm not one of those people who will tell you to lawyer up, hit the boss, and delete the gym for every situation. This one is a pretty big red flag though. Is this a one-off or is it a pattern?
No way! He is 100% to blame. I would never consider saying anything that would hurt my wife, especially not to entertain coworkers. That guy massively crossed the line of trust and protection. If he can't see that, then that means this will be normal behavior for him. He also showed that he doesn't respect what you do and thinks it is silly. I'm very sorry, but you should evaluate your future with him. It sounds like you live together, so it's going to be hard.
Your boyfriend is walking dog shit and you don't deserve this.
If you have to ask the question, you already know the answer. Don't be with someone who doesn't respect you; then you don't respect yourself, and you are lost. You deserve respect, and we all do. I send my love and hope you find a better place.
He’s a fucking arrogant prick. Dump his narcissistic ass.
Surely this wasn't the first red flag. Why you with a clown if you don't enjoy the circus
He's an asshole, and he's in finance. He's a double asshole.
I'm actually curious about what your favorite event you planned was.
Did I just see this on Reddit?
Is this also you? https://hilariouschaos.com/post/667328
Since chatgpt has AITA in its training data, there's a good chance you did lol
I will try to go to bat for your boyfriend to some extent because you obviously care about him on some level as you made him your boyfriend... And perhaps what you want is a better understanding of what he may be up to in all this.
My first thoughts on the jokes about your job was actually that he was simply trying to get a few reacts by being silly...
Everyone knows being an event planner is actually a really big job, right - in fact, I have always thought it is a very high pressure job and involves perfectly executing things on a tight timeline with little room for error, and it requires a certain perfectionism... And so his jokes on that, I think, were in good nature. I would give him a pass...
But the very embarrassing story..? That definitely crosses a line. However, I wonder if it was in the context of other embarrassing stories being shared..?
If it wasn't, and if it was sexual in nature, then I can imagine being really incensed.... If there weasn't, but it was not explicitly sexual, it's still a bad call, but I would tamper down my anger a little, maybe...
I would also just bring up that your boyfriend may be a people pleaser who is willing to say all kinds of things for a laugh... If he does it at his own expense as well, consider that this is perhaps a pretty ingrained personality trait and he may not understand your perspective on this, or it may be difficult for him to change... But it could be easy to have him leave you out of his self-deprecating humor...
Very interesting scenario.
Tell him to fuck off.