this post was submitted on 29 Dec 2024
811 points (97.5% liked)

Greentext

4673 readers
1818 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

Ocr extracted text:

When I was 13, I found out my dad had mistress. I said I'd rat him out to mom if he didnt buy me an account on some porn sites.

He didnt want to give me access to porn even under the threat of exposure, SO we compromised on buying me an account on a hentai site which he didn't count as ‘real porn.'

I accidentally left the hentai site open on the family computer one night and my mom found it at some point after I went to sleep.

Since the content was being paid for, she apparently thought my dad was using it. The next day, our Google search history was full of stuff like "help my husband is watching cartoon porn’ and "is it normal for men to like cartoon porn’.

Dad took the rap for the hentai without complaint because the alternative was admitting that he bought porn for his 13 year old son to cover up his extramarital affair.

End of the story? Nope.

A few years later I happen to be going through my parents’ closet for something when I stumble upon a bunch of cosplay shit: a Hatsune Miku thing, a meido costume and a school uniform based on Haruhi. Along with neon colored wigs and assorted anime inspired accessories like cat ears + tail.

So apparently my mom accepted that dad had a fetish for anime chicks and has been doing her best to satiate his lust for 2d, and poor dad who has no fetish for 2d whatsoever (pleb), has to play along or allow the entire web of lies to collapse.

tldr I ruined my parents marriage with hentai.

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 136 points 3 days ago (1 children)

My head canon is that this spiced up the parent's sex life, dad got rid of his mistress and it actually saved the marriage.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I can't believe anon didn't want anything but a fucking porn subscription

[–] PM_Your_Nudes_Please 8 points 3 days ago (1 children)

At 13 years old? I’d believe it.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Tarquinn2049 243 points 4 days ago (2 children)

But, it all started with his dad having a mistress... it was already ruined...

[–] Gradually_Adjusting 145 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Kids often bear the emotional burden of emotionally immature parents.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] Gradually_Adjusting 7 points 3 days ago

Between my updoots and Lindsay Gibson's book, I'd say case closed.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 4 days ago

"just happened to compromise on hentai" doubt. Check the mistress closet!

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 days ago

The marriage was already ruined by the cheating dipshit. But luckily it's a fake story anyway

[–] arin 139 points 4 days ago (3 children)

Mom is a tryhard. Lucky dad

[–] [email protected] 122 points 4 days ago (1 children)

True if you cheat you already are an incredible asshole but if you cheat on a partner who will adapt to your fetish you deserve to go fuck yourself.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 days ago

I like to imagine there is a special level of karma or hell for cheaters. When my ex cheated I found out on my birthday. Absolutely devastated me. Moved out for 6 months, came back, tried to work it out for a few years. I got intense therapy, we saw marriage counselor, then I discovered her sexting the dude she cheated on me with (by her own admission of all things).

If we didn't have a kid together, I'd have left her to fend for herself. I made all the money in the relationship, I'm the one with an education, and the ability to actually work toward anything. Instead i let her have the house, I'll help her pay for it for a few years so she can have that much time to afford to buy it out.

My son has everything he will ever need covered by me. She can't do school work, she has no benefits, and makes 1/5th of what I do. In a few years when that payment stops, she owes me a chunk of money on top of making up that pay.

So, in the end, while I end up with PISD, she has to live the next few years stressing over how to pay for living while I continue to live better and better, and provide for my son. I even have a fund started to afford him to go to college without loans.

Plus, if she remarries, she owes me that money immediately, and I stop paying that extra cash. I don't see that happening as age is catching up with her, fast. Karma, it turns out, is a bitch.

I hope that OPs Mom was able to turn something around and truly make his dad suffer.

[–] FireRetardant 45 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Do we really know for sure it wasn't dad wearing the cosplays?

[–] edg 18 points 3 days ago

That's my head canon.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 days ago

I interpret it as being a depressing situation where he's cheating in part because he isn't attracted to her and she can tell and so is desperate to try anything even though it never works because being unwanted makes her feel bad.

[–] [email protected] 47 points 3 days ago (1 children)

plot twist: dad "just took a look to know what he is paying for" and actually liked it and used the account too.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Dad didn't buy junior a subscription to a hentai site. He gave junior access to Dad's account on the hentai site.

Junior got played.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago
[–] [email protected] 94 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Nah, his dad ruined it by cheating.

[–] pigup 30 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Further, it's not hard to imagine how the dad probably was already into hentai, and simply manipulated his dumb kid into that compromise. So then when the wife found the account it matched up with things she had been suspecting for years already.

Dad is a sociopathic loser that jerks off to cartoons.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Dad paid for the hentai instead of live action porn not because ofa compromise, but because he already had a subscription and didn't want to pay for two.

[–] ZeffSyde 8 points 3 days ago

I think this is closer to the truth.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 days ago

That last sentence might give people the wrong impression. It might be better to split it up into two statements so people don't assume a relationship, causal or otherwise:

Dad is a sociopathic loser who cheats on his wife.
Dad is also a cultured gentleman who jerks off to cartoons.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] riodoro1 69 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Anon saved their parents marriage because maybe dad didn’t have a fetish for 2d but he acquired it.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 3 days ago

A better story would be the father tricks the kid into accepting a subscription he already has.

[–] [email protected] 41 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Not my dad, but a friend on IRC gave me a login to a paid hentai site when I was 13. Considering it less bad than regular porn is probably a huge mistake, tbh. I'm not trying to shame anyone for their fetishes or anything, but I would have been perfectly happy with boobs and instead got a bunch of comics with fairies having sex with insects.

[–] VindictiveJudge 16 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Is it bad that I think I recognized which thing you were talking about?

[–] Glytch 8 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Pretty sure they're talking about Bondage Fairies. I read it at about the same age.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

I had preferred the one with the two teachers, but wow haven't thought about bondage faires in awhile

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 days ago (5 children)

Same, but I found it on my own. I think someone was trying to groom chaz

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] Toneswirly 63 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Lol def fake but still funny

[–] [email protected] 33 points 4 days ago (3 children)

how do you even come up with a story this wild

[–] [email protected] 24 points 4 days ago

You do it to cope with an even wilder story.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Every greentext has at least a little truth to it.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 days ago

Truth: anon got caught watching hentai

Everything else is just them fantasizing about how they could've gotten away with it.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 46 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Soooo… anyone gonna comment on the pic?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 hours ago

what's to comment? That's your average family doctor visiting a sick patient

[–] TwoBeeSan 28 points 3 days ago

I like the look on the clowns face.

He's not particularly enjoying it but is determined. He must do this a lot.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Maybe next time, don't cheat? Skill issue.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 days ago

Some people can't even beat marriage without cheat codes smh my head

[–] jenny_ball 19 points 3 days ago

the thumbnail lollll

[–] Sam_Bass 14 points 3 days ago

More like spiced it up

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 days ago

What ruined, enriched!

[–] [email protected] 17 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 16 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (3 children)

Tbh I was never deep enough into 4chan culture to know whether or not that's important...

[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 days ago

Think of it like blood. If something is bleeding red blood, that's bad and you should try to stop it. But if something is bleeding green blood, that's good and you should make it bleed more.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 days ago

That's fine

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›