this post was submitted on 26 Dec 2024
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Sporks (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/tumblr
 
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[–] TootSweet 36 points 1 month ago (2 children)

My mother saw 15 seconds of an episode of Digimon episode and decided it was satanic. Pokemon too. She banned that entire channel on Saturday mornings.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

In digimon season ...6? Gabumon was crucified. There's also a whole category of demon lords.

[–] TootSweet 11 points 1 month ago

This incident happened during season 1 if that gives any more context.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

In Pokemon, you can keep God as a slave to do your bidding.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

hi every1 im new!!!!!!! *holds up spork* my name is katy but u can call me t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m!!!!!!!! lol…as u can see im very random!!!! thats why i came here, 2 meet random ppl like me ^_^… im 13 years old (im mature 4 my age tho!!) i like 2 watch invader zim w/ my girlfreind (im bi if u dont like it deal w/it) its our favorite tv show!!! bcuz its SOOOO random!!!! shes random 2 of course but i want 2 meet more random ppl =) like they say the more the merrier!!!! lol…neways i hope 2 make alot of freinds here so give me lots of commentses!!!! DOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- me bein random again ^_^ hehe…toodles!!!!!

love and waffles,

*~t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m~*


This copypasta ruined sporks for me. Now I ruin them for you.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

Oh no I thought I was about to make a new friend. This bait and switch stings.

[–] Zorque 26 points 1 month ago

Missed opportunity to use the term "gender tines"

[–] edgemaster72 22 points 1 month ago

Forks are bi as hell, they penetrate and have their gaps filled in turn.

[–] myslsl 22 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The humble knifoon remains forgotten :(

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago (3 children)

These plastic things have been coming in the package when you buy kiwifruit (at least here in NZ) for yonks: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CGN35968

Some debate though as to whether that's a knifoon or a 'spife' though :)

[–] passiveaggressivesonar 17 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] pyre 6 points 1 month ago

I already regularly use forks to cut things, knork makes perfect sense to me.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

When you fork with a knook

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Spifes have made it to the UK too.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Where are they getting the L, A, Y, and D from? Stoopid!

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 month ago (3 children)

In german forks are feminine and spoons are masculine. I hope speaking German isn't satanic for having trans-utensils.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago (2 children)

In romanian, both are feminine and knives are the secret third gender

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

secret third gender

Sounds awesome. At what level of the game is it unlocked?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

In French they're both feminine and knives are masculine.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Hell yeah, I want my language to be satanic!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

German is probably a fair choice then.

[–] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It sounds Satanic but when you actually hear Satanic chants/rites/etc. they're usually in Latin. If someone were to make a language that mixed Germanic and Romance sources, then, it would truly be the language of evil.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

If such an abomination exists, then I have some very good news for you and other Anglophones.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Which gender do sporks land in?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

In German it's called "Der Göffel" a mix of "Der Löffel" (spoon) and "Die Gabel" (fork). So it's masculine from the Löffel part.

It's funny how the word mix is backwards in German/English. English has fork at the end of the word and German spoon.

[–] dohpaz42 19 points 1 month ago

From the very beginning, God has held us back and punished us for trying to reach our full potential. Satan, on the other hand, has only tried to give us truth and knowledge.

Hmm. Come to think of it, that explains a lot of Christian Conservatism.

Hail Satan.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

for many years [the fork] was viewed as an unmanly Italian affectation. Some writers of the Roman Catholic Church expressly disapproved of its use; St. Peter Damian seeing it as "excessive delicacy".

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fork 🙃

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

I eat with my hooves, and I never wash, due to all this manliness I’m serving

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago

Satanic spork

Toutetsu Yuuma's idle sprite from Touhou 19

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

How about we don't give utensils genders?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Who are you, the British Empire, coming to colonize and suppress noun gender??

I’ll have you know that you will never* remove gender from waterborne vessels on Wikipedia. None of them is referred to as “it”; all are referred to as “she”.

[–] Valmond 5 points 1 month ago

Or he (il/le bateau) in French.

Just to fuck with the bri'ish I bet.

[–] mcqtom 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Is it toxic that I kind of agree with her? The main difference being that "satanic" is a compliment in my world.

[–] Deway 7 points 1 month ago

First, this is not a "spork" but a Fpoon.

Then as others have pointes it out, other languages give them different gender. In French, a spoon and a fork are feminine nouns. So this is also a lesbian icon.

[–] Dasus 7 points 1 month ago (3 children)

I just bought a set of four from Ikea the others day.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Hmm, I don't think I've ever noticed outie sporks. Mine is an innie, like this one.

spork

[–] Dasus 1 points 1 month ago

A curious choice by Ikea designers, but that's what they get paid for.

Although these were in the sales bin, going out.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

They look insufficiently sharp to do the fork part of their job

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

Most spells I cast recommend I first scissor my sporks, too

[–] DomeGuy 6 points 1 month ago

Everyone knows that the devil's actual utensil is that unholy threek.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] TheBat 5 points 1 month ago

Live long and prosper

[–] Agent641 5 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Next to the portable outhouse, the spork is God's greatest gift to mankind!

I say burn the heretic!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Ok, but why is the fork male and the spoon female

In Germany, where we arbitrarily gender any noun, it is the exact opposite

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

Prongs are phallic and bowl shapes are yonic, I can see the vision

[–] NONE_dc 3 points 1 month ago

Funny enough, I always associated forks with femenine and spoons with masculine, don't know why.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Btw, does the bible say anything at all about mixed gender or transgender?

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