this post was submitted on 24 Dec 2024

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submitted 1 day ago by [email protected] to c/microblogmemes

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[–] Duamerthrax 5 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago)

I don't have anything and I never will because I'm never getting tested. I did get "classified" and never had a fair chance at a real education. Even failure meant I needed to be in the program and every success showed how well the program was working. I grew up thinking I would only be a drag on other people. In high school, I decided to start feeling better about myself. Something those years of being removed from class so I could have meaningless conversations with the school therapist never could. I thought the school would support my efforts to fix my education, but I only got pushed down, told "I would be happier without the risk of failure", lied to about classes being full, withheld test results when I tried testing into better classes. I would like nothing more then to get the diploma revoked and seeing as how I never fulfilled the basic state requirements, I should be able to, but like with most things, the written law doesn't matter if no one is willing to enforce it.

Fuck my school. Fuck the "team building" exercises they made me do. Fuck the "opportunities" they provided for me.

[–] blady_blah 13 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago) (3 children)

As a parent of a child with ADHD, I'm cautious about using stimulant medication unless it's clearly the best course of action. My main goal is to help my child succeed, and academics is a big component of that.

I see many of my son's ADHD symptoms in myself, and I believe I may have also had/have ADHD. Despite this, I've been successful in my life. This personal experience makes me hesitant to automatically turn to medication as the solution for my child. I prefer to explore other options first, unless there's a strong reason to consider it, such as struggling academically.

When my son entered high school he became mature enough to participate in the decision-making process regarding his own treatment. Because of that it was easier for me/us to get him a prescription of Adderall and feel good about it as parents.

[–] jadedwench 3 points 6 hours ago

Seriously. Get them meds and a proper therapist ASAP who has a clue about ADHD. While their brain is still plastic you can train it early with the hope of having a future where coping mechanisms are already there and potentially reducing or getting off their meds entirely. Once you are an adult, it is over. Opportunity lost and time to learn the hard way.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

Unsolicited advice incoming:

Help your kid get a diagnosis ASAP and try to find a medication that works. The drugs are just a tool, but your kid won't know whether they help without trying them.

At some point, they may find themselves unmedicated and down in an ADHD hole — having the diagnosis and knowing which medications may help is crucial to dig out of the hole.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago)

Counter point.

The medication worked. Suddenly i could pay attention and my grades went up. And those where the main “problems” adults perceived.

My parents where skeptical about medicine first but opted to try because the backlash people gave me for lacking an attention span was affecting me hard. They ultimately believed they where doing the right thing.

I slowly become less social then i already was, lost my appetite, stopped feeling many emotions in general and eventually sank into a deep twisted depression.

I was unable to understand it was the medicine doing this. I was unable to communicate any of it properly because i thought what i was (not) feeling was just normal life and puberty. It was not.

I know and respect that those drugs can help some people. But they completely destroyed me, afterwards it took many years of controversially self medicating with cannabis to restore my original self and feel my emotions properly again. (The mail reason I started was because i read it could be used for adhd/autism and my first experience left me feeling normal and able to take public transport without suffering intens social anxiety)

I fully agree on your diagnosis part though. And i al also not saying medicine cant be the correct tool but its definitely not a clearcut choice.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago) (1 children)

This is probably a good call. In the first place a common problem with stimulant meds for adhd is that tolerance goes up quickly, requiring the user to increase their dose over time. The dependency is hard to break. I was prescribed on it for only a few months and made the mistake of abruptly stopping taking it - and even that was enough to go through one of the worst depressions of my life.

There is also evidence of heart risks with long term use, and given that cardiovascular disease is already the western world's number one killer, another blow to our hearts is that last thing anyone needs.

And then there's the regulatory and supply issues. Pharmacies often struggle to keep enough of a supply to meet demand, which is the worst thing for a substance with such a high-risk dependency situation. Plus because it's a schedule 2, you must see a doctor for every refill.

And of course the insurance companies make all of this all the more ugly. Really not worth it.

Edit: oops, didn't catch the last part. Welp, hope it works well for them.

[–] ZMonster 1 points 6 hours ago

My experience is completely the opposite of what you describe, not that I disregard anything you've stated. I've been on nearly the same dose for nearly 40 years and do not perceive any changes in the effect I receive. And I'd rather live without my medication while waiting on temporary shortages than live my life without it.

[–] Noodle07 15 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

Haha, I raw dogged it until I was 23, horrible grades only

[–] [email protected] 9 points 14 hours ago (2 children)

Raw dogged it until 37 years old. Sucks to start life so late 😂

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

If you can even find someone who does adult diagnosis

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 hours ago

For sure. I was lucky I was working for Apple (UK) so they offered private healthcare as mental health support on the NHS isn’t great.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

45! At least I somehow got promoted and found a girlfriend. For my Christmas miracle I’m a real boy now I guess.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 13 hours ago

Gosh 1.1962222087×10⁵⁶ is quite old indeed. 😉

[–] vinyl 27 points 16 hours ago (2 children)

I suspected i had adhd when i was 16, begged my mom to go to a psychologist. The psychologist told me i was playing too many video games ಠ_ಠ

[–] [email protected] 7 points 13 hours ago

When the video games were a symptom of the ADHD. Lol

[–] [email protected] 3 points 12 hours ago

My first and only therapist was totally dismissive of my problems. I left them, but haven't been able to bring myself to try another one since then 😔

[–] radicalautonomy 88 points 23 hours ago (4 children)

Same with autism. It wasn't until I had my master's degree in math and teaching high school at age 39 that it ever occurred to me that I was autistic. A colleague and I had a mutual student, and he told me that he thought she might be autistic and that he was going to refer her to the school's diagnostician for testing.

So I found myself curious about the symptoms of autism, because Rain Man was my frame of reference. I researched the symptoms in the middle of a Geometry team meeting, and everything I read had my sitting up further and further in my seat, until I just blurted out "Oh my GAWD...?!" My colleagues asked what, and I said "Y'all...I think I might be autistic?" They looked at one another quizzically, like they were shocked at my personal revelation. One of them replied, "Wait...you didn't know?!" I said, "....what, you DID know?!?" She was like "Yes! We all know that about you! You seriously didn't know? 😂" HELL NO I DIDN'T KNOW!

I immediately called my mom on the phone to tell her that I thought I might be autistic. "Yyyyyeah...your dad and I always thought you might be." HOLY FUCKING SHIT MOM WTF?????? 😲😲😲WHY DIDN'T YOU EVER GET ME TESTED?!? "Well, you always made such good grades that we just didn't think it mattered that much.

I have since been diagnosed with ASD Level 1, and I think back a lot on my life lived. I marvel at how much easier my life would have been if I hadn't had to develop all of these coping mechanisms myself. I did well in school despite my autism. I earned two degrees despite my autism. I hold down teaching jobs despite my autism. The biggest problems I've had in my life, though, have been personal relationships. I can't imagine how much richer my life might be right now had I known all along how to exist as a self-aware autist in a neurotypical world.

[–] thevoidzero 9 points 17 hours ago (3 children)

I don't know the popular opinion on this, but I personally think you did a great job learning how to be your best self without having a label. Everyone is unique and everyone will have to learn how to do things their way, having children labeled as something when they already do well might just make them feel more alienated, or be like "I'm X that's why I'm like this" instead of finding their way to be productive/have fun.

Of course it'll help people struggling but not knowing what's wrong. But if you're a type of person who can feel/see what works for you and what doesn't and find solutions for yourself, you might even make your quirks your strength. One frequent thought I have is, how many of the scientists or philosophers in the past were actually autistic? Or had quirks that made them who they are, but would definitely be "problematic" when they were young by today's standards.

TLDR: My opinion is everyone is unique, using your quirks to do things others can't is what makes some people great. Making everyone fit a "normal", and medicating/.... everyone else doesn't seem like a good idea.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

Would you tell someone who doesn't have legs that they'd be better off without a wheelchair because then they'd be free to "find their own way to be productive/have fun"? Or is this reserved for disorders that you can't see?

My medication doesn't fundamentally change who I am, it just makes me less shit at the things I am most shit at, so that my daily life is less of a constant struggle.

And sure, it's possible to imagine a world where having ADHD wouldn't be such a problem, just like it's possible to imagine a world where not having legs wouldn't be a problem. But that's not the world we live in!

Try not paying your bills and telling your landlord and credit card company that it's fine, you're just not one for rigid schedules and you're finding your own way. Or instead of doing your job at work, do something completely different and see if your boss accepts that you're just quirky.

[–] thevoidzero 1 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

I don't know if you read it, the second paragraph goes with something like: if you're having problems, then yes, if you've found ways to deal with things and be happy/productive then no need to labels things to be "normal"

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 hour ago

If you do not have problems you will not be diagnosed. The diagnose criteria literally say that you must have problems.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 16 hours ago (4 children)

There's not medication for autism, and self-awareness is immensely helpful

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[–] radicalautonomy 8 points 16 hours ago

Or...and just a thought...maybe people know their own truths better than you ever possibly could, and when they tell you that early diagnosis and therapy would have helped them immensely, you just believe them?

Also, I got diagnoses for Generalized Anxiety Disorder with Panic Attacks as well as Major Depressive Disorder, and having those diagnoses as a teen might have helped as well, ya know?

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[–] [email protected] 63 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

Dude, so fucking real. I just got denied meds because "If you can learn a big part in a play, then you must have very mild adhd."

[–] [email protected] 18 points 18 hours ago (3 children)

I'm convinced that most psychiatrists and psychologists have control issues that they satisfy through their practice. It makes them feel powerful to be able to gatekeep, judge and implicitly control their patient's life and get paid for it.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 13 hours ago

Man if I was a doctor I'd probably get my control kick by giving people what they want and making them happy.

[–] RoyaltyInTraining 11 points 16 hours ago

I wish I could talk to someone who actually knows what adhd is like, and not just some boomer with a fancy piece of paper

[–] Ogygus 7 points 17 hours ago

Extend that to anybody involved with patient care and medicine.

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