this post was submitted on 12 Dec 2024
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And Finally...

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 31 minutes ago

*trying to buy salad ingredients for the family cookout*

The cashier: sorry state prevents us from selling more than 5 cucumbers at a time.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 19 minutes ago

The lawmakers are afraid of the competition

[–] wowwoweowza 1 points 6 minutes ago

Don’t want to start WWIII but even I and my fifty buttplugs were surprised to hear that WALMART was selling sex toys.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 minutes ago

Texas is ran by dildos so this is really just thinly veiled self preservation at this point

[–] over_clox 9 points 1 hour ago

So its now illegal to have more than 6 bananas in your home in Texas?

Sigh, this is gonna be an awkward call to mom..

[–] [email protected] 2 points 38 minutes ago (1 children)

What if it was a dildo-gun?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 minutes ago

What part of 'shall not be infringed ' do you not understand!? 🤣

[–] VinnyDaCat 1 points 26 minutes ago

Snorted and almost choked on my coffee when I scrolled past this.

The worst part about this is that I'd rather Republicans waste time with pointless legislation such as this rather than something damaging that they could actually enforce.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

Is there a shortage of dildos in Texas that they need such laws to stop hoarding?

[–] RangerJosie 22 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

There is decidedly not a shortage of dildos in Texas.

Have you seen their politicians?

[–] mossy_ 12 points 2 hours ago

those are just plain ol' dicks

[–] voldage 2 points 1 hour ago

At first I was like "barbaric", but then I thought to myself that 6 dildos per person sounds abundant. I've decided to believe that they were about to fight an owner of 7 dildos and implemented that ban to reduce their power. Like "there are 7 of us and you have only 6 dildos what are you going to do" because the 7th dildo would be illegal.

And yes I know that the grounds of this ban are absurd and barbaric, I do wish hunger and pestilence upon those who voted it in, it's just that any discussion regarding it had to be hilarious. What are they trying to prevent by restricting the access to 7th dildo, gang wars?

[–] jaybone 32 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

I’m guessing they are not limiting the number of guns you can own though.

[–] Kbobabob 23 points 3 hours ago (3 children)

Ever bring a dildo to a gun fight?

[–] mEEGal 2 points 57 minutes ago

yea that'd be a rookie mistake

[–] over_clox 3 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

This dude knows where the purple dildo is in GTA Vice City.

[–] Kbobabob 2 points 54 minutes ago
[–] Mango 3 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

Roflmfao!!!!!!

Guilty as charged!

[–] abcdqfr 4 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

Imagining muffled cackles from a chamber of dildos

[–] Mango 1 points 41 minutes ago

I'm gonna buy a new one tomorrow for shits and giggles. 🤪

[–] x0x7 18 points 3 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago)

Neo-puritanism needs to die. I'm getting excited because I think humanity is just generally getting fed up with control. We're done with this shit.

At least none of these people should be violent. They can have their views. But law is always violent. So it has no business being an extension of anyone's sexual views. If you violently impose your sexual perspective on others you are as good as a rapist in my book.

[–] 2ugly2live 13 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

Ted Cruz ran out and is trying to hoard them all for himself.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

Ran out? Does he know they are supposed to come out as well as go in?

[–] RangerJosie 5 points 2 hours ago

As a non-carbon based extraterrestrial lizard alien, he consumes the soft supple rubber that many dildos are made of as a form of sustenance.

[–] Dasus 4 points 3 hours ago
[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

I would never have thought to go to walmart to buy a sex toy if I hadn't seen them somewhat prominently displayed on my way towards the vitamin aisle.

[–] Kbobabob 5 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

Don't most people just buy them online anyway? How the fuck would they even enforce this? The whole thing is a joke.

[–] mhague 8 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

They're criminalizing things more likely to be owned by people they're trying to cleanse. Maybe cops show up and find you've exceeded your government allotted sex toy limit... would you lose your job? Your kids? Do you even call the cops? Do you hide the dildos in a gun safe and leave the guns out, to make the cops happy?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

I find it hilarious that cops are going to start driving around with dildos in their car. You know, in case they need to plant one.

[–] mhague 3 points 1 hour ago

Rookie, sprinkle a little KY on him. Perfect.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 5 hours ago

The solution is clearly to set up sex toy libraries.

...They would never interfere with libraries, right?

[–] psycho_driver 24 points 6 hours ago

There are definitely some Texas billionaires that own more than six politicians.

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